Dana's Cafe

BACK TO THE BASICS...

2012-01-28T07:44:00.000-06:00

I look at some of these children this day and age, and I seriously want to CRY...
THEN ...
I WANT TO GO GET A SWITCH OFF THE TREE AND DO A DRIVE BY ON SOME OF THESE BAD ASS KIDS!
I was in Stracks minding my own business and this little girl all of 14 years old, said very openly and LOUD "I NEED SOME DICK ASAP"!

I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT.......
I gave her the dirtiest look ever and I almost hit this child in her mouth, because it was PLAIN DISRESPECTFUL...of not only the adults and elderly people around her, BUT MAINLY OF HERSELF!

If that is what you are doing at 14, IT'S NOT CUTE.....and YOU NEED TO KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF!

As a teen, I WAS DEFINITELY not an ANGEL! But, I had respect for my elders and myself!
I carried myself LIKE A LADY, because if I DID NOT, there was SUDDEN DEATH waiting for me at home!

But, I WANTED to carry myself like a lady! I demanded my RESPECT! I didn't allow the boys to feel all on me .....NO FREE FEELS HERE...
I DIDN'T ALLOW BOYS TO TALK TO ME ANY TYPE OF WAY....
and I got the UTMOST respect in high school!

My parents taught to RESPECT MYSELF..and then OTHER PEOPLE WILL RESPECT YOU TOO..
My mom taught me the importance of acting like a lady at all times!

You NEVER CAUGHT ME CUSSING LIKE A SAILOR IN FRONT OF ADULTS..
did I cuss amongst my peers, HELL YEAH....but in an ADULTS PRESENCE, NOPE!

THE WORLD IS SO DIFFERENT NOW...
PEOPLE ARE MORE CAUGHT UP IN BEING THEIR CHILD'S FRIEND THAN THEIR PARENT!

I am A PARENT!
When you get GROWN, we can BE FRIENDS! but right now, I am THE ENFORCER!
NO CHILD WILL EVER RUN ME OR MY HOUSE!

and ....I was A TEEN MOM!
I HAD MY FIRST CHILD AT THE AGE OF 18!
HE IS NOT MY FRIEND....HE IS MY CHILD....He will be 20 in November of this year and I STILL DEMAND MY DAMN RESPECT!

HE tries to tell me he is grown now, but DUDE, GROWN means YOU HAVE YOUR OWN....when you still need me to do shit for you, YOU ARE NOT GROWN!

NOW, am I saying I have PERFECT KIDS....not by a long shot!
My kids HAVE THEIR WAYS....each of them do...
but never will I have a child sit up in my face and CURSE...
NEVER WILL i have a child ARGUE WITH ME .....not WHEN I FEED YOUR ASS EVERYDAY!
NEVER WILL I HAVE A CHILD HIT ME...YOU WILL DIE THAT DAY! DEFINITELY...
Never will I have a child sit up and talk about SEX openly or allow them to do it in my house!

I WILL NOT BE YOUR FRIEND! I AM GOING TO BE YOUR MOM!
I STILL THINK OLD SCHOOL IS THE BEST WAY....
and I will get a belt or a switch in a minute....JUDGE ME!
I BELIEVE CHILDREN SHOULD HELP AROUND THE HOUSE! You DO YOUR PART in my house!
I am feeding you everyday and YOU CAN'T WASH A DISH? I don't think so!

I just feel sorry for some of these kids because they don't have a CLUE!
DISCIPLINE is a way of LIFE...
RULES ARE PUT IN PLACE EVERY WHERE...
Work, School, Law, Government, even SOCIAL NETWORKS...
and you will follow the RULES of my house, UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN...

if you don't...

THERE WILLLLLLLLLL BE CONSEQUENCES!

I am all for having fun with your kids! WE HAVE A BALL IN THE BROOKS HOUSEHOLD, but their is a difference in having fun and BEING YOUR CHILD'S FRIEND!

THAT IS ALL....

BLATANT DISRESPECT!!!!

2012-01-26T08:52:00.000-06:00

I WAS OUTRAGED WHEN I SAW THIS, BUT NOT SURPRISED! GOVERNOR BREWERS NEEDS HER ASS KICKED FOR THIS! But, Republicans are GREAT AT POINTING THE FINGER and this is PHYSICAL PROOF of that! I AM SO SICK of the BLATANT DISREGARD OF OUR COUNTRIES PRESIDENT! The media does not even address him as PRESIDENT OBAMA, they refer to him as MR. OBAMA! I don't recall Dubya being called Mr. Bush or President Clinton being called Mr. Clinton! It's just BLATANT!!!! and I am sick of it! This man is DOING THE ABSOLUTE BEST HE CAN, he is BUSTING HIS ASS, and he doesn't get any FREAKING CREDIT. Jan Brewers was WAY OUT OF LINE! AND THE SECRET SERVICE SHOULD HAVE TACKLED HER ASS! That was a threatening motion! YOU DON'T STICK YOUR FINGER IN A GROWN MAN'S FACE! But, this is NOT SHOCKING TO ME....

Some things never changed! He is STILL A BLACK MAN....we have made GREAT STRIDES in this country, WE HAVE CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH, but the WORLD only SEE'S IN BLACK AND WHITE, which is sad in this day and age!

I am OUTDONE!

Letting go is hard....

2012-01-19T11:53:00.000-06:00

Letting go....TWO WORDS ....SOUNDS EASY, but it is very hard...
Whether you are letting go of a person, a place, or even a thing....it can be very hard!

When my dad got ill, it was a shock... and before we could even get over the shock....HE DIED. My dad was diagnosed with cancer January 6th and he DIED June 6th....HE DIED 6 MONTHS TO THE DATE of his DIAGNOSIS!

My father died, but in a lot of ways I WAS DEAD TOO! I was DEAD IN MY SPIRIT! I was DEFEATED, because I thought my dad was INVINCIBLE! I really did! I really didn't even get a chance to prepare myself, because the whole CANCER THING was a SHOCK...and my mom had colon cancer and SHE BEAT IT! my mom was NO MATCH for my dad, so I just thought just maybe, he would beat this thing! HE HAD A QUADRUPLE BYPASS, and was walking the NEXT FREAKING DAY! so......why couldn't he beat cancer?

I am still coping with this, but I learned in order for my dad to be at peace, I needed to let him go....
Absence from the body, means presence with the Lord, and he can't be in ANY BETTER HANDS THAN THOSE...

Now does that mean, I still don't cry or I don't miss my father....NO! JUST, means I am coping a little better and I NOW have peace in his death, that I didn't before....
Moving right along..

I was diagnosed last May with diabetes, I WAS DEVASTATED! This was like a DEATH SENTENCE for me, but I HAD TO LET SOME THINGS GO....It was either that or DEATH....which is what I was heading for with UNREGULATED blood sugars on the high end of 487 and dropping low as 39. I had to learn that MODERATION for me, was the key and EXERCISE. I like to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it! BUT THAT, WAS NOT WORKING FOR DANA.... so I had to start measuring portions, with cups and half cups AND I AM NOT GOING TO LIE, i hated it AT FIRST, but with time, I am now used to it! I lost over 35 MUCH NEEDED pounds, and I am still going for more!

I am NOW off medication and regulating with taking bsl daily, exercising only 3 times a week, and diet! and I bet you are wondering if I cheat, YES, all the time, DO I FEEL GUILTY, nope not one bit, BUT DO I go back at it again, YES I DO, and that is what matters, NOT GIVING UP, even when you have weak moments!

I had to let go of my PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS OF FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS:
When I love a person, whether it's my friend, family, husband, I LOVE WITH MY ALL....meaning, there is NOTHING that I would not do for that person! I am a VERY GIVING person, if you NEED IT, I GOT YOU....I am a PROTECTIVE PERSON, if you hurt the people i love YOU HURT ME, and I will protect them by any means necessary! I am a OPEN MINDED PERSON, I am not judgemental! I am a very HONEST person, so I will not SUGAR COAT anything for you....and I am ME.....ALL DAY EVERYDAY.....
but in saying that...

I CANNOT EXPECT EVERYBODY TO BE LIKE ME...
that is my DEFENSE ON EVERYTHING, how could you do this to me, when I would never in a million years do this to you? I made this statement at least a million times in my life!

I cannot change people, I cannot save people, the only person in the equation that I can change or save IS DANA...and I had to learn that the hard way...

So, in 2012 if YOU DO NOT MEAN ME ANY GOOD, and I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE ....I had TO LET IT GO....

Why? because things effect me a little differently? Things affect my sleep, my stomach, my mind, I have headaches, I worry, and I am the only person LOSING SLEEP AND GETTING SICK! For what? When that person or persons is sleeping like a baby every night!

So, I LEARNED to remove myself and MOVE AROUND...
Sounds EASY ENOUGH, but it really isn't especially when it's FAMILY!

BUT, NOW that I have learned to LET GO....my life is so much easier! Seriously!
I breathe a little easier, I sleep better, my health is better....and I am so serious!

Some people say I have a "I don't give a fuck attitude", well, that's not it....I just don't allow myself TO GET HURT anymore! Did you read that right? I said, I DON'T ALLOW MYSELF TO GET HURT anymore! I can only CONTROL ME, and for a very short while my KIDS, because they will all become grown and be their own person(s). ....but, just learned that I cannot expect everybody to do the things I do...go the distance I go....I am WHO I AM, and they are WHO THEY ARE ...and if they don't mean me ANY GOOD, or they ARE NOT GOOD FOR ME, I just let them go! AND....it was not easy, but I feel much better now that I did!

Yes, Letting Go is hard, but sometimes it is what needs to be done, in order to better your life!!!!!

funny story to share

2012-01-13T07:51:00.002-06:00

yesterday it started snowing very heavy...

the kids look outside to see how heavy it was snowing...

jariel started to talk about a snow day and how cool it would be to have one..

jaree started crying because she didn't want to miss school...

now at first I thought this was a joke..
BUT..

when I looked at her face I realize she was serious..

her nose was red as a beet..

it took everything in me not to laugh in her face...

WHAT CHILD IN AMERICA, WOULDN'T WANT A SNOW DAY?

MY CHILD!

she loves school!
THIS KID WATCHED THE NEWS UNTIL 10:30 LAST NIGHT. and.....SHE WOKE UP AT 5:30 and started looking for school closures..

When she didn't see our district she was ecstatic...

Look at her face, compared to Jari's.....jariel was pissed!

gotta love these kids..
they are all different! lol

i guess that is why jaree has been on high honor roll since Kindegarten....and reads at a college level....

you know..

my baby who defied all odds from surviving a seizure that lasted over an hour....the one that they said would be brain dead, or severely brain damaged....the one that was in a coma for days, the one that i was told would,never walk or talk again, yeah her! God is good isn't he?

welp, thought i would share that...

until next time!

I FEEL LIKE A TON OF BRICKS ARE SITTING ON MY CHEST...

2012-01-10T21:41:00.001-06:00

MANY of you may know that I suffer from DEPRESSION!

I was diagnosed at the age of 13. I kept having all these crying spells and not knowing why. I would sleep all the time and I didn't engage with anyone in my family....

BASICALLY, I JUST SHUT DOWN....

I spent 41 days in a pediatric psychiatric unit in Christ hospital!

No one could get me to come around! The first 21 days i was in PSYCHIATRIC ICU. I wasn't talking to anyone. I didn't trust anybody.

I never felt so alone!
After 21 days, i was moved to 4 south, i was around children with eating disorders, sexually promiscuous girls, suicidal children, children who self mutilated, and started fires. I did not fit in!

My pastor at the time Reverend John H. Burke started to visit me. At first, he would,pray for me and give me bible verses to remember, so that we could discuss at our next visit.

Then, he told me to seek God, for myself, and it would be there that i would find,peace..

At 13, i found God..

i started to open up and in a matter of days i was released from what i felt was hell!

i had a strong desire to be Baptized and i was so into the word...

over the years..
i lost my way!

When my dad passed, i was so angry...
when my nephew Pierre died 3 Weeks later, i felt God turned his back on me.....but really i turned my back on him..

well, just a week ago, an old familiar feeling came over me...
Depression...

One day, i started crying and i couldnt stop! i was unconsolable! my hands were sweaty! i couldnt concentrate on anything! i started to shake..

I had a Nervous breakdown!
i was going to check myself in the hospital.

but then a funny thing happened..

i heard a beep on my phone, i assumed it was a text, but it was a notification from an app i downloaded called the Daily bible. i picked it up and it read:

1:1 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; 2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. 1 Psalm 1-2

i read this about 10 times before it clicked!

I have been going through so much, issues with my children, issues in my marriage, health issues, issues with my siblings, trying to take care of two households, mine and my mothers, still grieving my dad...dealing with crazy folk...i just couldn't do it!

i needed help, and i called on Jesus! and,he answered me!

He didn't forsake me after all...
it was me!

i had to let a lot of things go...
i had to let a lot of people go...

and i will never turn my back on God again, because its evident he didn't turn his back on me.

whew..I am going to end this now because i am so emotional right now!

Getting organized!

2012-01-05T13:02:00.001-06:00

My motto for 2012...less is best! Getting rid of the clutter, starting with my craft studio! Here are there before pics.... After pics coming later.

It's New Year's Eve already....

2011-12-31T08:28:00.008-06:00

Wow....
I can't believe another year has come and gone! Time really flies.....
I remember New Year's Eve of 2010, I had lost my father June of that year and I was so ready to see 2010 go.... that was such a BAD YEAR year for me! In January we found out my dad had lung cancer, in fact January 6th, so the year started off BAD....and then 6 months to the DAY....he died on June 6th! That whole ordeal was A NIGHTMARE! I was so scared!!!! I was heartbroken!!!! I was angry with GOD! I was ANGRY WITH EVERY BODY! and then I was numb....

Fast forward to 2011, I am still a little angry....I miss my dad so much sometimes, I can hardly breathe! Until you have been in my shoes, you can't possibly imagine how I feel! I wouldn't wish this on my GREATEST ENEMY! My heart still aches! I still feel a void in my life. My dad and I were very close! I was dubbed THE FAVORITE, but I know my dad loved all of his KIDS! I WAS JUST HIS BABY GIRL!

I still wake up sometimes and reach for my phone to call him....it's almost been two years!

Gahhhh!
anyway....
Moving on...

2011 had it's ups and it's downs!
Baptiste got LAID OFF....but thank God, we have a A SAVINGS ACCOUNT!
He got a MUCH better god as a Manager for Walmart, less responsibilities and MORE MONEY!
WHO CAN BEAT THAT?

I had a DIABETES SCARE this year!
I went to the doctor for a mass under my arm...mentioned how much I had been urinating every 5 minutes...I initially thought, I may have gotten pregnant, but soon found out my BSL was 487. I was devastated! I lost over 30lbs, I had really put on the pounds in the last couple of years! So I started changing my diet and exercising....after just 3 months I was TOTALLY OFF MY MEDS. I believe I prayed my diabetes away.....I was a praying sister! I was TERRIFIED! and I slip off my diet sometimes, but I always go back!

I, really don't talk about my personal life, but the last two years have been trying for my marriage! I love Baptiste, with all my heart, BUT, he has TRUST ISSUES! LOL It stems from his own upbringing! I told him he needed to work on that, and that's all I am going to say!!!!

I, also, this year created a SIDE HUSTLE for myself! That has brought some income in the house! I have always created everyone's resume in the family and some of my friends. Baptiste came to me, and said he had a friend on his job, that wanted me to create a resume and cover letter for me and he was willing to pay $100 ....I jumped on board and HE GOT THE JOB! From then on, 4 other of his family members had me create resumes for them! ALL 4 of them got the job! I'm not saying that my resume, got the job, their skills SPEAK volumes! But, it did help! Toot Toot! So, I have been creating resumes for people! I am in the process of going a little bigger, Baptiste and my sister Tracy are my biggest supporters! I love them both so much!

2011, is the year I saw a lot of change in my children....some things good, some things bad....

My oldest B, has really matured! He is a manager for Sonic and he also works part time for Walgreens. He is in college. We helped him get his first car, and MY MOM PAID IT OFF! He is doing very well and I am so proud of him. He is very generous too! He looks out for both of his siblings. Even tries to slide me cash, but I do NOT take money from my children! I am FINE!

However, I worry about him, he works a lot of hours, he goes to school, he teaches dance, and I am afraid he is going to burn himself out! He just made 19. He basically has 3 jobs and goes to school! He is so much like his DAD, it's pathetic! LOL

JARIEL, my baby boy, really matured as well! His GRADES are really impressive THIS YEAR, as opposed to last year! He has really taking the initiative to give it his absolute best! He is trying to get a scholarship, to go to the college of his choice. He is already guaranteed a sports scholarship, but he says he wants the GRADES to go with it, HE IS TRYING TO GET A FULL RIDE, to college. His coaches for wrestling, football, baseball, and track have really worked with him, and helped tremendously! Jariel went from a C average to almost an A Average! I am so proud of this kid!

However, he gave me the BIGGEST SCARE of my life this year, he came home complaining of chest pains and before I could get my shoes on, he started screaming and clutching his chest! I was in TEARSSSSSS, SCREAMING, CRYING, and so was Jaree! I HIT 100 in my pajamas, scarf, and house shoes to the hospital. I didn't have time to get dressed, nor did I CARE! I thought my child was having a heart attack. He already has a heart murmur and chronic bronchial asthma! but, my doctor always encouraged to let him do anything, WITH IN REASON, that he wants and he is VERY ATHLETIC....turns out Jariel caught an extreme CASE OF STAPH INFECTION, from unsanitary wrestling mats from his school! It had got so bad, that it infected the lining of his heart which caused the heart attack like symptoms! I was LIVID....

to add INSULT to injury....HIS GRADES suffered, I had so many problems with his school, but when i went up there and WENT ANGRY BLACK WOMAN ON THAT ASS, every thing was handled. I tried to be nice , prim, and proper at first, that didn't work! I had to get IGNANT! and then I got results.....LOL

but, JARIEL, has changed for the worse too....HIS ATTITUDE SUCKS...he mouths off like he doesn't know who his PARENTS ARE....Just in case you didn't no, I DON'T PLAY WITH KIDS, especially my own. I will fugg a kid up on site *in my Bernie mac voice*. LOL And I had to get him a couple of times this year....I guess he is at that age, where he is feeling himself, I went through that with B, and I had to show him as well, who the PARENT was....LOL

Jaree, has really matured as well, NO FIGHTS THIS YEAR! That is the biggest improvement! Jaree is not a bully, BUT, SHE WON'T LET ANYONE PUSH HER AROUND! and this year, no arguments, AND NO FIGHTS! Jaree's grades are always Good, she has been on the honor roll since Kindergarten, nothing has changed there! She is smart as a whip.....BUT SO IS HER MOUTH! I had to SQUAD UP, a few days after Christmas and really kick her butt! She likes to challenge me more than any other child I have! She is so MUCH like me, that we bump heads! I definitely got my PAY BACK, with her! LOL

My biggest concern of the year is MY MOM AND HER HEALTH! My brother moved in on September 1st, and my mom's life has been in TURMOIL ever since! I kinda feel guilty, because I am the one who talked my mom into letting him stay there. It was only supposed to be 2 months, and it will be 4 months tomorrow! My brother and his family are DEFINITELY A BURDEN on my mom, her bills doubled, no one pays her a dime, THEY DON'T EVEN BUY TOILET PAPER, things have gone missing, my mom is always arguing with my brother, and I am just scared she is going to have a stroke, because all she does is yell, scream, argue or cry! I had a BIG argument with my brother and his wife, I let them know, that if ANYTHING happens to my mom, I am COMING FOR BOTH OF THEM....I DON'T PLAY ABOUT MY MOTHER ......
and my sister is RIGHT ON BOARD! In fact, she's the ENFORCER, she is CRAZIER than I am, and that says A LOT...

ME: this year has been really hard for me....in fact, it has been more hard for me this year, than last year in regards to my dad's death! I GUESS, last year was just a SHOCK...this year is A REALITY that he is gone. I am still grieving and it's hard!

This year we had two tragic deaths: The death of my cousin Tamiko and my little cousin Dominique. Tamiko had an abnormality in her heart that went undetected, and she died at the age of 27. Dominique was struck and killed by a woman who was texting while driving. She was just 3 weeks shy of her 2nd birthday!
this is the year of HATERS for me! I am used to people hating on me! BUT, THIS YEAR, it was ridiculous! I am the MOST DOWN TO EARTH person you would ever meet, I am so cool, I can get along with anyone, but WOMEN AND MEN hate on me all the time. but, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, and I don't know why? I always, get NEGATIVITY, DIRTY LOOKS, OR PEOPLE WHO TALK BEHIND MY BACK! But, what THEY don't realize is, I FEED OFF OF THAT, it just makes me happier! IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME ONE BIT, because I know who and WHAT i am, and your opinions of me, DON'T MEAN SHIT! LOL I AM JUST, glad, my mother and father instilled that in me from a child, because all the HATE i received this year, IF I WAS A WEAK PERSON, i'd be ready to kill myself! AND MOST OF IT WAS FROM FAMILY.....
SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? LOL People don't like the fact that I live comfortable, that I have a husband that adores me and OUR 3 children, that we do things as a family, that I basically get any and everything I want, but I DO NOT HAVE A JOB....this JUST BURNS MY IN LAWS UP! my husband isn't SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING for me.....according to them? Folks is crazy! But I just smile and pray for them fools! LOL BUT....MOVING RIGHT ALONG...

We've also had some good things to happen, my dad's parents left he and his siblings, some land in Mississippi, and they think it's oil on the land. I got my first payment of $485, if they find oil on the land, it can be worth so much more! I am crossing my finger and toes! LOL

I, also won $1,800 this year at the casino! I went once this year and one once this year! LOL I AM NOT a big gambler! But, I always seem to win! LOL

I won $600 on a $2 7/11/21 scratch off....

This has been my LUCKY YEAR....LOL

I have fell back in love with reading this year....I really wasn't reading, since my dad passed, didn't have the mind for it! Didn't have the mind for anything really, but I am back at it full swing! Reading 32 candles as a recommendation by my little sister Sam!!!! LOL

Any good book recommendations? Feel free to comment!

What else, oh....I AM SCRAPBOOKING FULL SWING, well, I should say SMASHBOOKING....I have fell in love with the whole smash book idea! I will have to devote an entire post on that!
But, it's so much fun!

Last but not least, I have fell in love with God again....when I lost my father, I was really in A DARK PLACE, I did a whole bunch of things I am NOT PROUD OF....I lost my way....but towards the end of this year, something happened to me, and I just fell to my knees....and I just started PRAYING....and GOD, restored me!!!!! I will never turn my back on God again, he never turned his back on me, and accepted me with open arms! and that's MY TESTIMONY!

WHAT ARE MY GOALS FOR 2012:
To focus on DANA.......

i have really lost myself in the midst of being a MOTHER, A WIFE, A DAUGHTER, A SISTER, A FRIEND.....

I really NEGLECTED ME....
and I am NOT doing that in 2012

This year is ALL ABOUT ME...not in a selfish way, but a taking care of DANA WAY....
starting first is my HEALTH...

I am really going to eat healthy (which I have been doing anyway, since the diabetes scare)
I am going to workout 4 times a week....
pray and meditate DAILY.......
AND PAMPER MYSELF MORE....
get focused on my business.....to earn extra income for myself and my family....
and CUT a lot of NEGATIVE PEOPLE FROM MY LIFE...even if its FAMILY..

I am going to take AT LEAST one trip BY MYSELF A YEAR.....
GET MORE INTO MY HOBBIES.....

just taking more time for ME, ME, ME!!!!

What are some of your goals this year?

Well that is all, didn't mean for this post to be so long, but I guess I had a lot to say...LOL

with that being said, I love you all, have a HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR...
AND

UNTIL NEXT TIME.....

It's New Year

2011-12-31T08:28:00.001-06:00

Out of the mouth of babes

2011-12-15T10:22:00.004-06:00

So, My baby girl Jaree and I were having a conversation about Christmas? And she said, "do you ever think Jesus gets angry because people have made both his holidays about something else?" I asked her what she meant and she said "Well Christmas is the day that Jesus Christ was born, and they make it all about SANTA AND PRESENTS.. Then Easter is day that Jesus rose from the dead, but they made it all about the Easter Bunny, Easter baskets, and Easter Egg Hunts, if I was Jesus, i would be mad, because all of the attention was not on him, when it should be"

I STOOD THERE with my MOUTH HANGING WIDE OPEN! My daughter is 12, this is really the first year that she doesn't believe in Santa! My kids believed in Santa, but knew all about Jesus and the reason for the season.

But, I sat there and I thought about IT.....she was so RIGHT! and on POINT!

FURTHER MORE....My cousin made this post on Facebook today:

Santa comes but once a year Santa fills your stockings with goodies Santa comes down your chimney uninvited then enters your heart. You have to stand in line to see Santa name. Santa lets you sit on his lap
Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, What's your name?" Not only does Jesus know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads. Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly All Santa can offer is HO HO HO Santa says "You better not cry" JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you. Santa's little helpers make toys, WHILE JESUS Repairs broken homes and builds mansions. Remember why we truly celebrate Christmas!

I would like to add to that:
Santa may make you chuckle and fill your tree with gifts, but Jesus gave us the GIFT OF ETERNAL LIFE, MERCY, AND GOOD GRACES.

SANTA rides a sleight, Jesus walks on water! He knows our names, he's always with us, he's our healing , help and hope so much more then fake that comes only once a year!

It's obvious there is really no comparison. We need to remember WHO and WHAT Christmas is all about. We need to put Christ back in Christmas!

Darn shame, they want to call CHRISTmas trees....HOLIDAY TREES
CHRISTmas Parties.........HOLIDAY PARTIES...
They want to separate Jesus from everything, BUT NOT IN THE BROOKS HOUSEHOLD, we know the reason for the Season and IT'S JESUS CHRIST, OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR!

I AM NOT ONE TO PUSH MY PERSONAL BELIEFS on anyone else, if you practice some other type of faith, no offense to you! But, I don't apologize for PRAISING GOD! Not now, not ever! I never want to hear these words on Judgment day "Depart from thee, I never knew you"

With that being said,
have a safe and wonderful CHRISTmas!

Craziness and Insanity

2011-12-03T13:04:00.002-06:00

Have you ever had a day that just kept getting progressively getting worse and worse....

Well that was me yesterday!

First, I got a call from my mom, saying that all the money in one of her checking accounts was missing, and my mom has had fraud done on her before and I just cringed! Turns out, mom wasn't paying close attention to her account and that she was over doing it a bit! Kind of worries me because Alzheimer's Disease runs in our family! My grandmother, her twin brother, another one of her brother's and her sister all have been diagnosed! And my mom, is starting to do things to make me raise my eyebrows!

The second thing that happened is that Baptiste and I got into a huge argument yesterday, HE PISSED ME OFF SO BAD, until I wanted to just SMACK HIM! SERIOUSLY! So, I just left and went shopping......WITH MY MOM OF ALL PEOPLE.....

While I am shopping with my mom shopping, B (my oldest son) calls me upset, saying that my brother was talking about him and his sister, as well as mom LIKE a dog! AND things that were said, HAD TO BE SAID, because there is NO WAY OF the person knowing if THEY WEREN'T SAID.....hope that made sense! However, I don't play about my kids, he talked about B and Jaree like a dog, and if you don't like my kids.....FUCK YOU! And that's in black and white! I don't LOVE ANYONE ON THIS EARTH, better than I do MY OWN KIDS! Are you insane? Did you think that would fly with me? So I have NO USE FOR HIM OR HIS RAGGEDY MOUTH WIFE! And I was going to get his kids something for Christmas, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THEY WEREN'T GIVING MY KIDS SHIT! but I am not even doing that! HE PISSED ME OFF, just that bad!

While I am on the phone with B, his boss calls, and he accidentally made it a conference call! She says "Jacques (B's gubment name) I understand you were in my drawer today, and I can't have that, if we are short, I am HOLDING YOU ACCOUNTABLE, and I want you to fully understand that" So B said "Well is the drawer short" she said "no" and he said "well check the drawer, if it's short, then call me back and we'll go from there, but I don't understand why you are calling me if you haven't even checked the drawer" He told her he needed change, and the other manager was being a butthole and not getting it for him, so he's a manager himself and he got the change! He made her look so stupid, AND JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, she wasn't short! But that pissed me off, took everything in me not to get involved in that! He's 19, very much a man, but he's still my baby! LOL

Then, I check my email and it's Jariel's chemistry teacher, telling me that Jariel is not showing interest in her class, and that he has work missing from the 17th to 23rd.....and I thought to myself, is SHE INSANE, Jariel was in the hospital during that time! I spoke to the counselors at that school and they told me that Jariel would have ample time to complete the work, He just went back to school last Monday! That pissed me off so bad! Where was the communication, I did my job as a parent, I contacted the school, I spoke to his counselor, I put in a homework request, and I am helping my child complete it! Why wasn't this relayed to the teacher????? So you know where I will be bright and early on Monday!

Then I come home and by now my temperature is BOILING.....and I see a white car in my drive way! I am thinking who is this? It was my cousin Lattaniah, at this point, I don't want to be bothered! Plus, I hate when people show up to my house UNINVITED....I think it's RUDE! But, once I got in, I ended up having a great time.....

but, then ....MY MOM CALLED....and said that there were police cars everywhere, with a bunch of ambulances, and while we were on the phone, I heard 3 big booms, like GUNSHOTS, I was scared to death and so was Lattaniah!!! She ended up staying here all night!

We had a murder/kidnapping just on Monday, where I live and the same day someone broke in B's car and stole his wallet, his ipod touch, and his girlfriend's purse!!!! So, I hope this isn't a sign that it's getting bad in Lynwoood. This is a quiet city for the most part, but this has really unnerved me! and it doesn't help that Baptiste works nights now....4 days on....4 days off! Just scary! So keep our family lifted and covered in the blood!

Love you all....
Until next time

This is the first time ever....

2011-12-01T08:17:00.003-06:00

THAT I AM DONE WITH MAJORITY OF MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BEFORE DECEMBER 1ST!

This year I wasn't really feeling it, if I am being honest!
Most of my Christmas shopping was done ONLINE! Which is so UNLIKE ME! I love being out in the hustle and bustle. I am just in a funk! I think it's harder for me this year, than last year not having my dad. If you can believe that!

I did get a little HAPPY when I went in KMART and TARGET, I was looking at all the Christmas Decorations and they had the Christmas music playing, so I felt happy about that!

I am completely done with my children! Which feels strange! I have reached their budgets, but I get the urge to go out and get them more every now and again! LOL

they always have a great Christmas THANK GOD!!!!!! For blessing us with the means to be able to indulge our kids in SOME of their wants! So many are less fortunate!

I STILL HAVE TO VENTURE OUT TO THE MALL....for Gift cards! Ughhhh!
My niece Aaliyah loves Forever 21
My nephew Aaron loves Hollister
My brothers kids are getting gift cards too, just don't know where?
I do believe I am getting my nephew Nas a Toys R Us gift card, he's 7!
The girls maybe CLAIRES....
My mom's gift is ordered!

and that's all! Baptiste and I don't exchange gifts until NEW YEARS! It's our little traditon! It's like having Christmas all over again!

But of course he wants a projection machine for video dj'ing! NERD! LOL
ALREADY ORDERED!

BUT, I wonder what he got me! I had 3 things on my list! I'm almost sure he didn't get one of those things, but I think he may have got me 2 gifts! He's been acting really strange, which means he has hidden it somewhere! but I won't peak! I like to be surprised! LOL

Again, for me it FEELS odd being done this early! I almost feel like I have NOTHING TO DO! LOL

I am not going to get the gift cards until next week! Then maybe I will experience a little HUSTLE AND BUSTLE....

Are you done with your Christmas Shopping? Have you even started? LOL

Oh and I already got MY SECRET SANTA PARTNERS PRESENT, gonna mail it this weekend! wohoooooooo! I hope she likes it, but I think I know her style! So I think she will love it!

Well that's all I have! I am trying to get back into this blogging thing!
but twitter, pinterest, and tumblr are DISTRACTIONS!!!! LOL

UNTIL NEXT TIME....

What's on your Christmas List???

2011-11-28T11:44:00.004-06:00

I have been a good girl (for the most part) and I think Santa should consider some of these gifts for Christmas this year! I have been wanting a new camera from quite some time and I have my eye on this camera right here! It's a Cannon Rebel T3i. I want to venture out into the DSLR instead of my high end Point and Shoot with Manual capabilities!

The next thing on my list is the Epson SP 1400 Photo Printer! It can print up to 13 x44! Perfect for scrapbooking!!!!!

I know you are thinking why does she have two cameras on her Christmas list.....welll let me explain below...
I have become really huge on smash books and mini books (Scrapbooking) which calls for smaller scale pictures! The pictures come out the size of a credit card with white thick border at bottom to write notes! How ingenious! And it's INSTANT! How freaking cool is that! and look at the design on that bad boy! Sleek and sexy!!!

I would be happy with either of these for Christmas! But if I get all 3, it would be the Best Christmas ever! LOL

Somebody email this to Santa for me! LOL
Welp, that's all for me! What's on your Christmas list this year?

Welp...

2011-11-27T01:56:00.002-06:00

This Thanksgiving was NICE, but HARD...
I think I had more of a hard time this year, that I did last not having my father here...

I had a big crying spell....couldn't seem to stop....
Had to excuse myself, a couple of times...

Also, it's the first Thanksgiving in I don't know how many years, that my husband and I did NOT get to spend together, because he was sleep, because he had to be at work at 7pm after getting off at 9am! So he slept in.....

I worked my butt off....

As you can imagine, my mom had a rough time! So I basically cooked for two houses!

We ate our selves into oblivion.....

I didn't take many pictures this time around because i was so freaking tired.....

I did capture a few of the kids....but that was from my phone and not my camera!
Which is basically, how I have been taking pics lately....lmao!
What can I say, I have an excellent camera on my phone....

I did the CRAZY...and went Black Friday shopping as USUAL....

BUT, BEST BUY WAS SO DANG ORGANIZED, it was worth it! I was in and OUT in 20 minutes, bought the Kinect and a few games for the kids....Then we just wanted to see how chaotic walmart was...and IT WAS INSANE! We just walked around and walked out. We went to Target and I got Jaree's white ipod touch and accessories for it...We were done black Friday shopping by 2am! We sat down and enjoyed some Starbucks....and headed home! i was in by 3am!

I slept for most of the day on Friday....LIKE IT WAS A SHAME HOW MUCH I SLEPT!
But I tirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreddddddddddddddddddddddddd!

I slept most of Saturday too!

Hopefully things get back to normal, but I am still just getting caught up on rest for staying in the hospital with Jariel for 5days .....

By the way, Jariel is DOING GREAT! Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes!

Welp, that's all I have....

Wait, I am also 85 percent done with my Christmas shopping! Jariel's Samsung Galaxy Tablet is being shipped as we speak....

All I have to do is get Jaree a digital camera, set up an appointment to get B's remote start installed, go to Forever 21, Hollister, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Gilly Hicks to pick up gift cards for the kids and my nieces and nephews! That's easy!

This is the first time I am done this early! Normally I am out in the HUSTLE AND BUSTLE....because I LOVE IT! But, this year, I wasn't feeling like it! Most of my gifts were ordered and shipped to me....LOL

I am putting up the TREE TODAY...well, I will say this...The decorations are out of the attic....and in my living room! That's a start! LOL

Well, that is all for REAL THIS TIME....
UNTIL NEXT TIME....

One of the scariest things...

2011-11-18T16:03:00.003-06:00

is something happening to your child and you have no control over it!
Thursday, Jariel was rushed to the hospital for chest pains and pain in his shoulder and arm! I was at my computer tuning in to 12kyle radio and all of a sudden I heard Jariel say OHHHHHHH, then he said OHHHHHHHHHHH again, and to be honest I thought he was just acting silly, so I turned around and he was face down on my bed clenching his chest with tears in his eyes....WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SCARED TO DEATH, i mean it, instead of calling the ambulance, i got in the car and hit 100 all the way to the ER! I blew through stop lights and stops signs and thank God we made it to the hospital in one piece!

They immediately too him to back! The hooked him up to all kinds of machines and I WAS HYSTERICAL....I totally lost it!!!! I THOUGHT MY CHILD WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK....I felt so HELPLESS.....I was by myself me and Jaree for about 5 minutes before my mom Got there! Jaree was crying hysterically and so was I!!!! He was short of breath, it was TOTAL CHAOS! THEN A CALM CAME OVER ME, I didn't want Jariel to feed off of my energy so I shook the tears off and kept telling him he was ok!

Turns out Jariel has a SEVERE CASE OF CELLULITIS! I am upset about this too, because it seems it came from dirty mats from Wrestling! Jariel got a scratch, no bigger than a mosquito bite and it got severely infected! So much so that he has inflammation around his heart lining, which caused this severe pain in his chest!!!

He is now in the hospital and has to get intense IV antibiotics! We probably won't be released until Monday, because he has to get 3 or 4 doses every 12 hours!

He has been in so much pain and I HATE SEEING MY BABY SUFFER!

I have only felt this way a few other times, the first time Jaree had a seizure, when Jaree almost died in 2006 from a grand mal seizure, and when Baptiste cousin panicked and almost drowned Jariel at the beach!!!!

That is the WORST FEELING in the world!!!!!!!!!

Please keep Jariel in your prayers!!!!!! This has not been easy on any of us!

R.I.P HEAVY D

2011-11-09T09:33:00.004-06:00

I WAS FLOORED when i heard the news that Heavy D passed yesterday! I honestly was in disbelief! I had just seen him on the Hip Hop Award on BET and he KILT (YES I SAID KILT) IT!!!! I loved Heavy D! We got our own Thang still gets HEAVY ROTATION on my iPOD!

He was a HIP HOP ICON! and we will truly be missed!

Hello, my name is Dana and I am addicted to Pinterest!

2011-11-06T21:33:00.004-06:00

Ever since I was introduced to Pinterest, I have been a pinning fool! Anything from recipes to scrapbook ideas, from fashion to make up ideas, from diy projects to quotes, you can find it on pinterest!!!!

Here are some of my favorite pins:

If you have NOT got your self a PINTEREST account, I do NOT know what you are doing with your life? LOL

Run, run fast and open a pinterest account and start pinning!

Warning, it is very, very, very, very, very addicting! But so much fun!!!!!

Helllloooooooo, can anyone hear me...

2011-10-26T23:35:00.002-05:00

I don't know why it is so hard for me to stay consistent with this blog thing! But here we go....

For those of you who may or may not know, Baptiste recently started working overnight! This is so hard for me! I miss him so much! I mean in our 13 years of marriage, this is his first time working the night shift! and I HATE IT!

I AM SCARY AS HELL! So needless to say, I am up all night because I think I am hearing things!

Jaree camps in my room now! SO IT'S NOT SO BAD! Except the fact, that she sleeps so damn bad! Ughhhh!

Jariel just finished up football, I am kinda sad! I loved spending my Friday evenings cheering my baby on! They finished first in their conference! did I tell you that a scout from Ohio State University was looking at my baby! More on that later!!!!!!

Jaree is in basketball and babbbbbbbbbbbby, my baby has to learn SPORTMANSHIP, anybody that fouls her, she is ready to kick their ass! SHE IS ONE TOUGH COOKIE! Lawwwwwwwd! PRAY FOR HER PLEASE! I did tell you that a little girl pushed her when they line up and shake hands and Jaree DEBO smacked the hell out of her! All the way down to the ground and told the little girl "Don't get back up" What am I going to do with this child?

B's birthday is November 2nd. Can yall believe my baby is going to be 19 years old! Where does the time go????????? He thinks he is SO GROWN TOO! I have to put him back in his place and give him a reality check on several occasions! I'm still YOUR MAMA DAMMIT!

Last blog, I told you how my brother and his family moved in with my mama! Well, they have been begging my son for money! When I found that out! I had to contain myself!!!!!!!! I went over there and told them, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT ASK MY 18 YEAR OLD SON FOR SHIT! He works hard for his money, I suggest you do the same! I DO NOT PLAY WHEN IT COMES TO MY BABIES!!!!!! NOT AT ALL!

I am a giving person, and I teach my children to be too, but I also tell them NEVER LET ANYBODY USE THEM, and my brother, his wife, and their daughter ARE USERS!!!!!!!

Jaree is getting on my damn nerves! She tells me what she wants for Christmas every single day! What does she think? I have Alzheimers or something! Ugh just ugh! and can we get past Halloween first pleasee!!

I am medicine free! I have been off Metaformin since July! My bsl are being maintained by exercise! Diet NOT SO MUCH! I got to do better! But I haven't had a bsl over 120!

I love Fall, it is my favorite season, but man, it's like we went straight into winter, it's been cold as ever!!!!! Great snuggling weather, but Baptiste works night, and I have no one to snuggle with! *cries*

Well, that's all I have....

Until next time...

A little of this and a little of that...

2011-09-29T07:34:00.002-05:00

I went to Memphis earlier this month and had some bluebell icecream for the first time and I cannnnnnnnoooooooottttttt find it here in Illinois! Adrienne loves to tease me about that! I had the homemade vanilla and lawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd, it tastes exactly like the homemade ice cream granny used to make! So good!

I had a great time in Memphis, we went to the Lorraine Motel Museum. It made me feel a certain way! JUST EERIE. Knowing I was standing in the very spot where Martin Luther King was shot and killed! I am going to bring the kids back there. I think all children should go!!!!

We went to Beale street and I got this drink called "Call a Cab" and babbbbbbbbbbbbby, I don't know how I made it home!

My auntie Carrie threw down while I was there! I know I gained atleast 5 lbs while I was there!

I really had a great time!

Facebook can be the devil sometimes! Lawd! if you guys only knew the half.........

My brother has moved in with my mom, can you say, drama, drama and MORE DRAMA......

I made oxtail stew, can you say GOOOD-T! I don't mean to brag, but I can cook my ass off! Thank God, my granny called me in the house, while playing Mr. Freeze with my friends, to teach how to cook! I was madder than of mofo then, but I am so grateful now!

Do you know Baptiste and I have been together for 21 years! Where does the time go?

It feels so good to be loved and desired by a person that you love so much and desire too!
He still stares at me and says 'baby you are beautiful"
He still holds my hand in public
He still kisses my cheek and forehead and says "baby I love you'
I love my husband!

Jaree made the basketball team, yes another expense, but it keeps her busy and out of trouble!!!!!!

Jariel made a 80 yard touchdown at his last game! I am just now, getting my voice back! LOL

My oldest son B, makes me so proud. He is in college, he works, he helps out with his siblings and that boy can dancccccccce! In fact, both my boys can dance! Jaree, well, ok! LOL

I have been in the scrapbooking mood, yet I have not scrapbooked, plan to change that reallllllly sooon!

I cleaned my art studio, and boy I have way too much stuff. I need to purge!

I am going thru True Blood withdrawl! However, I am so glad Vampire Diaries is back on!!!!!

why does everything good either come on Mondays or Thursdays! Damn! I wanted to check out the new Charlies Angels, but I will watch it online!

I just got sleepy as all get out! Maybe it was the big breakfast, I just ate! LOL

I need a mani and pedi bad!~

My hair is breaking off on right side! gotta work on that immediately!

I haven't read a book in months! Just not like me! Any suggestions????

I can't think of anything else to talk about so I guess this is it!

Until next time............

A little of this and a little of that...

2011-09-29T07:33:00.001-05:00

Happy 15th birthday

2011-09-21T08:37:00.004-05:00

15 years ago today I gave birth to a 9lb 11 oz baby boy! I named him Jariel Breon Brooks! I was so upset when I found out I was having another boy, that I broke down and cried! Especially since my sister was having a girl! But, the moment they placed that little boy in my arms, I fell in love instantly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He has brought so much joy into my life! He is my easy going child! He is so loving and kind! He is very humble, he is my child that does not ask for much! That is why, whatever he asks for anything, I break my neck to get it! and that's not often! that he does ask for something!

He is my child that I think, looks the most like me! I labeled him my twin!

He is my baby boy! and I love him to pieces!

Happy Birthday Jari, mommy loves you!

HEARTBROKEN

2011-09-06T17:15:00.002-05:00

Saturday our family was dealt yet another DEVASTATING BLOW, my cousin Tonya and her granddauggther Nique Nique was walking to the corner store and on the way home a woman driving an SUV ran into them and Nique did not make it!

This has HURT US beyond words!

I'm sure most of you hear me talk about my cousins all the time, we were raised like sisters and they were always around! We are very close, so this just knocked the wind right out of us!

I am still in shock!

She shares a birthday with my son Jariel!

She would have been 2 the 21st of this month........
I don't know how we will ever get over this......

there is a blessing in the fact that my cousin Tonya was not killed too, but she WILL FOREVER be TRAUMATIZED by what happened! She loved her grandbaby beyond words! She was the light of our eyes , because she was so grown!

That little switch she had in her walk, how she told somebody "shut up punk" She was something else!!!! 1 going on 45!

I am so heartbroken, but I know she is home with the Lord!
and one day I will see her again!

This picture speaks volume of her personality!!!!!!!

Sleep Nique Nique, TT loves you, and I will be there with you one day!

6 Places

2011-06-28T14:35:00.003-05:00

Bermuda
Fiji
Aruba
Hawaii
Sydney Australia
Kenya

I am a beach person, and these places have some of the most amazing beaches!!!!! Look at the black sand beaches of Hawaii! So freaking sexy!

5 foods

2011-06-25T09:17:00.002-05:00

1 Rock Lobster tail with lots of butter and lemon

2 Blackened Mahi Mahi with Diablo Sauce

3 NY Strip steak Medium well please

4 Fresh water prawns

5 Red Velvet Cheesecake

That was hard becau se I love foooooood!

2011-06-24T09:47:00.002-05:00

So you know I kept my brother's kids for 5 days without a change of clothes! I had been blowing his phone up and finally he came to get the kids.

He came walking his happy jack rabbit ass up like everything was ok

I turned around and looked at him like wtf?

and I felt like slapping the shit out him and his wife!

Four books

2011-06-23T12:50:00.003-05:00

I just realized I was doing this thing backwards but OH WELL!!!! LOL

Anyone that knows me, knows that i keep my head buried in a book! I love to read! Four of my favorite books are:

Addicted by Zane

The Coldest Winter Ever

Shame on it All

and last but not Least the Twilight Series, because I couldn't pick just one:

3 films

2011-06-21T11:18:00.003-05:00

3 films, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm this was so Hard, because I am a movie buff!!!! Growing up we always went to the movies as a family and also the drive in and now me and my family do the exact same thing!!!!! In fact the kids are looking forward to seeing the Transformers 3 in Imax 3d, this weekend!

The first film is the Color Purple! Come on now, did you not think this wasn't going to make the cut!!!! This is one of the best movies ever made ....... I Know this movie back and forth! In fact, my cousins will sit up all day and quote movie scenes from this movie! Like "Sattin at jail, Sattin at jail til I done near bout rot to death, I wanna thank you Miss Celie for everything you done for me, I memba that day I was in the sto with Miss Milly, I was feelin real down, I was feelin might baaaad, but then I see'd you and I knows there is a God-t, I know'd there is a God-t..... can you finish the quote???? LOL

My second movie has to be The Green Mile, I love this movie ....I cried my eyes out when they killed John Koffey, like the drank, but not spelled the same! But for the most part, I laughed Especially when they threw Wild Bill in Hole and he said "All I wanted was me a lil cornbread, you motherfuckers, all I wanted was me a little cornbread" Lmao! !!!! We laugh everytime that part comes on!!!!!!!

Last but not least is Life.............enjoy the clip enough said........

Two songs

2011-06-20T11:26:00.002-05:00

There is not a day that goes by that I DO NOT miss my father. I feel so lost sometimes. Even though I am a married woman, I called my daddy for everything, from repairs to killing a bug! LOL I am forever a daddy's girl! Also, July 1st in the one year anniversary of my nephew's death and I miss him, like crazy!

This is my CURRENT SONG OF THE MOMENT! Yes, I like ghetto music! Hey sue me! LOL

Ten Secrets

2011-06-18T13:05:00.003-05:00

I saw this on Adrienne and Monique's blog and decided i wanted to to play along!

One picture!
I recently took this picture! I was not going to smile and Jaree said something that made me laugh! LOL

The tweet that made me livid

2011-06-17T11:54:00.004-05:00

Actually, there were two tweets!!!!

Now I remember why I only follow @traycee30 intermittently. Her ass up here admiring foolishness in a damn suit smh

@traycee30 I forgot I be unfollowing yo ass...til I saw that pic and had the urge again lol

Now if that wasn't RUDE, I don't know what rude is!

As one of my fellow twitter friends said, Just because you put a LOL after a statement, doesn't make it any less RUDE!

I am not going to mention this person's name, but she has rubbed me the wrong way on more than one occasion!

The first time she pissed me off is when she called myself and a friend of mine (Adrienne) elitists, because she said we only talk to each other. First of all, I have been knowing Adrienne since 2005, through blogging. So she is like family to me! SEcond of all, that couldn't be further from the truth!!!!!

The second thing she did, was she went in on people for watching the BET AWARDS, saying we had to be idiots to watch the BET awards, BEt has never done anything good for the community, and a lot of other MEANINGLESS bullshit. I don't know who the hell she thinks she is, but I deleted her real quick, before I said something REALLY IGNORANT!

It made me wonder, if that person was in your face, would they DARE say that!
I know it's wrong, but I am from the WHOOP A TRICK ASS TRIBE, I don't play!

She really needs to go sit her little NEUROTIC ass down before her feelings get hurt! Seriously! That really made me HOTT! I was mad, because Tracy is one of the sweetest people on twitter. REally! And she is my girl and I didn't appreciate that foolishness!

You know it had to make me mad, if I dedicated a whole blog about it!

Some people should think before they tweet! Really!

and that's all I have to say about that!

My head is spinning

2011-06-15T13:30:00.002-05:00

So much has happened since the last time I blogged. I found out I have diabetes, my cousin Tamiko died at the young age of 28, and June 6th was the one year annivearsary of my father's passsing. Oh, and I became a great aunt! LOL

When I found out I had diabetes, I was DEVASTATED .... I cried, and cried, and cried! You would have thought they told me I had a week to live. Then I thought about it, this is something I CAN CHANGE! I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS...with diet and exercise this can be beat. And so far, I have not done anything drastic and my bsl has been in the 90's!!!! Which is good! Made me even wonder if I had it in the first place .... The doctor already lowered my meds and told me to keep up the good work!

Then, I find out my cousin passed. This knocked me flat on my ass! When someone dies unexpectedly and when they are so young, it is mind boggling! She didn't have any health problems, but she did do a lot of things right before she passed, that has me wondering if she knew.... She even purchased a dress and said, this will be perfect for Saturday, she bought that dress the day before she died, and she wore that dress Saturday, just like she said, for her own funeral .. If you knew her, you would love her! She never met a stranger. she made a friend every where she went! Makes me sad! She left behind her husband Jamar and her 4 year old daughter BK (Brooklyn). My family was devastated by her passing. We still don't have closure, because the cause of her death is still unknown, pending autopsy results. You just never know when your time is up! That is why I TRY my best to live right.

On June 6th, it was hard of me to get out of the bed, everyone went to the cemetery, but I just COULD NOT.....I cried most of the day and night! You guys have NO IDEA, how much I miss my father . I was a daddy's girl to my heart. My dad and I were very close! I talked to him every single day and I am not ashamed to say he spoiled my ass rotten, even as a grown woman, up until he took his last breath!!!! My kids loved him so much! There is not a second that goes by, that I don't think about him! I still break down.... getting choked up right now, but I know he is with God and I will see him again one day!

I recently became a great aunt! My niece Khadejah had a beautiful baby girl! I have mixed emotions, but a baby is a blessing and I love her already! I was pissed off at first, because she had so much going for herself, but hey she still can get her education I am going to help her all I can! I had fun shopping for her! I went crazy in Babies R Us, I am ashamed to say how much I spent! Baptiste was looking at me like I lost my mind! LOL But, we needed some happiness amidst all the sadness that was happening.

They say what does not kill you, makes you stronger, and I can honestly say I am such a stronger person t han I once was.....

Until next time

So I was going to

2011-05-23T12:45:00.002-05:00

....make this blog post into a face book status.....or perhaps tweet it, but I decided to blog about it instead. I can't say I am exactly where I want to be in my life, but I have come a LONG WAY! I was recently asked "Dana, do you ever regret having children so young?" At first, I was taken a back, stunned, shocked, and even a tad bit offended by this question. But, once all of the emotions were settled. I answered in TWO LETTERS, no!

I was just 17 when i found out I was pregnant with my oldest son "B". I was still in high school and doing very well. I graduated in June with honors went on to Summer School for college and finished my first year of college all by the time I gave birth at the age of 18. I then had my second son Jariel ejust shy of my 22nd birthday, still in college.......

I finally graduated with HONORS with a degree in Psychology with 2 1/2 kids ...Jaree was in my belly....I was 24 years old with 3 children.

After college, I found a great job at Case Worker, for the Chicago Industrial League. I loved my job, I was also going to night school to receive my Master's. Everything in life was going great. I got married to my high school sweet heart in 98, had Jaree in 99 and landed this great career opportunity! Life was going well. Baptiste and I had our own town home, I was living the life!

then Jaree started to have these febrile seizures..... After 2 years of working.....I had to leave my career behind. My main focus was Jaree! This was NO strain for our family, because Baptiste made more money and we were able to live out of his income, and BANK MINE! So we had a rather large nest egg! Fast forward to today, our savings aren't where they were, but we are still living COMFORTABLY....

I said all of THAT to say THIS....

A BABY DON'T STOP NO SHOW....

I have accomplished A LOT IN MY LIFE, with 3 babies and I wouldn't trade them for the world! Yeah, I was just a baby ......but I grew up fast! I owned up to my responsibility and took charge! People thought that we would fail, that we were making a big mistake, but my children are my greatest achievement!

I look at my oldest son, who is now in college and has his father's work ethic. He has not one but two jobs.....

I look at Jariel, who is so loving and kind! He will give the shirt off of his back. Such a gentlemen!

I look at my baby girl Jaree, who is so beautiful and smart! She excels in school and has a love for animals and loves her brothers dearly! Do something to her brothers and you will PAY THE PRICE. And they are equally as crazy about her!

How could I regret 3 of God's greatest blessings!

Did I have it rough? Yes!!!! Did I struggle? Hell to the yeah? Would I change it? Not for all the riches in the world.

My children are the reason I am here. I suffer from Clinical Depression, and have had many thoughts of GIVING UP, especiallly since my dad passed and I look into my babies eyes and they give me LIFE....LITERALLY!

My 17 year old niece is pregnant, and NO this is NOT what I wanted from her, but a baby does not stop anything! IF YOU ARE HUNGRY ENOUGH, YOU WILL EAT....meaning, if you want something bad enough in life, nothing will get in your way! The sky is the limit!

My father was the biggest thorn in my side when I got pregnant, but was my biggest cheer leader in the end!

Life is funny sometimes....

I would have never expected my life to go the way it did....

but I am GRATEFUL FOR THE AWESOME JOURNEY IT HAS BECOME...

that is all!

Yoooohooo anybody there...

2011-05-10T20:27:00.002-05:00

It's been ages since I last blogged....
So much has changed in my life.....
I am still having a hard time dealing with the death of my daddy...
That has really taken a tole on me....
Things are just not the same...
I look at life differently.....

It's just NOT EASY at all!!!!!

Never in a million years did I ever think I would be blogging about the death of my father. Just seems unreal!

May 6th marked the 11 month anniversary of his death...
Can't believe we are coming upon 1 year...

His death is still FRESH .....doesn't seem that long....
I am still grieving! I am still hurting...
My kids are hurting...
My mom is hurting....It's just HARD!

I was over my mom's house the other day and I saw something out of the corner of my eye, and then I heard my father call my name....it made me feel SOME KIND OF WAY....
I turned to look and he was not there...

I still call his voicemail on his phone...I leave him a message until I have clogged the mailbox....

His phone will be shut off soon, I just hate that, not being able to listen to his voice...

My mom is so lonely.....even with B there, because he is young and has a life of his own, in college, 2 jobs.......He's not there enough.....
and she sometimes mentions meeting other men.....AND I GET ENRAGED, but that is so selfish of me...

I don't expect my mom to be alone....but I don't think any man will ever fill my dad's shoes!

I still have crying fits, bits of rage, and days where I don't even get out of the bed, but thank God, I have a husband who is supportive and knows what I need.....

I don't want this to be a sad post, so I will end it on that note.....

to everyone please keep me and my family in your prayers....
this is harder than anything I have ever had to deal with

It's 65 in Chi town

2011-03-17T16:25:00.002-05:00

and you know how it is when black folks get a lil bit a warm weather.....

the FREAKS COME OUT....
seen a girl with flip flops with busted toes, corns everywhere and ashy dirty feet...heffa that's not cute!

girls outside with their booties hanging out....
dudes playing ball with their shirts off....
Grills going.....

Summer is almost here yall

Speaking of grilling

Right now as we speak....
we are grilling

Ribs, chicken, rib tips.....

Sides : spaghetti, baked beans, potato salad and corn!

Yes I does the damn thang! LOL

I need to go back to cooking so I have to talk to you guys later...
Until next time!

I haven't given up on...

2011-02-24T15:58:00.002-06:00

....blogging....

I just have been taking a break. a very long break!

I would never give up blogging. I met so many wonderful people this way!
so much has been going on in my life...

I am still grieving my dad.....and this is the HARDEST thing I have ever endured in my entire life. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone...

I still cry most nights...
I find myself calling his cell phone just so I can hear his voice ...something about this gives me comfort....Just hearing his voice!

I am so lost somedays.

Some days I just lay around allllllll day and DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING....

I have been getting back into an exercise routine, even had a chance to get a 2 1/2 mile run in.... I do the BIGGEST LOSER FOR THE WII 4 times a week...

I have not been doing well on the dieting end...but I plan to change that as well!

Looking forward to so many things......good things to come this year....
well that's all for now.........until next time

Christmas just ain't Christmas....

2010-12-17T11:35:00.002-06:00

without the ones you loveee!!!! It's not just a song for me! as you know this will be my first Christmas without my dad. This will be the years of many firsts! First Fourth of July, his birthday, Thanksgiving.....and now Christmas. I have ACTUALLY been doing pretty well. I don't cry as MUCH! But the closer I get to Christmas I cringe........ My dad played such a big role in my life. Hearing his voice Christmas morning, or having him come over to help me build the toys, or having him hide the toys and smuggle them over..... hearing him sing Christmas carols. Just so many that I am going to miss...

It just seems like a bad dream still....

I don't know if I have truly accepted he's gone yet! Because I keep expecting him to call me or walk through the doors....

If I could only receive one Christmas present for the rest of my life....

It would be to have my dad....WRAPPED IN A BOW AND ALLLLLL......

I love him so much and I miss him more than words can express....

Keep us in your prayers....

This Christmas will be very hard for me.....

You think u know me....

2010-11-30T14:13:00.002-06:00

.....sometimes I feel like I am invisible.....people SEE me, but they don't really see me!

...I am misunderstood.......

I have been told all my life how beautiful I am on the outside.....AND FOR THE FIRST PART OF MY LIFE....I thought I could get by on my looks....I thought I WAS THE SHIT....seriously! I shit on a lot of people around me and was mean......and cold sometimes!

but what really people didn't know, was that I was hurting on the inside....I didn't feel very beautiful....

I used to BE A BITCH ......

I still am sometimes.....don't get me wrong....

but I was COLD....

...CONNIVING

AN VINDICTIVE....

but it was a reason for it all....

I have always had a TIT FOR TAT personality.....

If you HURT ME....I will ANNIHILATE YOU....

IF you punch me, I WILL KNOCK YOUR ASS OUT...

If you get me, I HAVE TO GET YOU BACK 10 TIIMES WORSE....

but that took alot of energy.....

Thank God, I am so much wiser, but still learning....

You don't have to do all that.....

Just let a PERSON GO.....

You don't have to go out of your way.....

Just let em go......

Oh when I learned to LET GO AND LET GOD........WOOOOOOOOOOO!

YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT A DIFFERENCE IT MADE IN MY LIFE........

I am still a work in progress!

I have so many people ASSUME shit about me....

Oh when I was younger.....in my early teens...people took one look at me and my body and assumed I WAS FAST....that I was OUT THERE....

Pretty girl with a banging body I had to be SCREWING EVERYBODY....

Being beautiful can be a CURSE AS WELL as a blessing!

I have always been judged.....

My teen years felt like being in a constant episode of mean girls!

I got into a lot of fights! I HAD TO PROVE MYSELF THEN...

I made a lot of examples out of bitches that's for sure....

People assumed I was soft, because I was short, pretty, and quiet.....

I tried to tell them "Not to let this pretty face fool you"

They didn't listen! God blessed me with these hands! I should have been a boxer! LOL

I can remember when I was in high school...my freshmen year, I was coming out of gym to the locker room and I got dressed to go to my other classes

5 girls grabbed me and ATTEMPTED to throw me in the showers with SCALDING HOT WATER.....WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SLINGING HEFFA'S EVERYWHERE, and I got the leader Courtney Darby so good, she is scared of me to this day!

When the deans came in to break it up, they grabbed me and though that I was on of the girls involved in jumping another girl. I told him, they were jumping me, he said it was NO WAY IN HELL, because I didn't have a scratch on me, but they were JACKED THE HELL UP! Once he figured it out, he SHOOK MY HAND, and said "Sorry this happened to you, but you sure do know how to handle yourself" Well that was for damn sure! I have 4 brothers, THEY TAUGHT ME WELL!

I soon learned that FIGHTING wasn't the way either.....

But people learned to LEAVE ME ALONE TOO!

As I got older.....and learned to leave catty women and girls alone......

My problem became people thinking that I am CONCEITED.....

I am NOT CONCEITED....I am CONFIDENT!

HELL IF I DON'T LOVE DANA.....WHO WILL!???????

i know I have flaws! But I am still beautiful on the outside and on the inside!

I don't need anybody to tell me so....

I know it!

But I am gracious and thankful when a person recognizes it!

Don't get me wrong! I love my HATERS....I have so many!!!!!!

but I don't see why people hate on me....

I am the most loving person....

I will give you the shirt off my back....

so there is no need....

I am fun! More often than not I am the life of the damn party! I will keep you laughing....that's just me!

But I am learning...that people will HATE YOU SIMPLY FOR BEING YOU....FOR BEING COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN.....

WELL BABBBBBYYYYY, You may as well kill yourself, because BITCH I'M ME!

That's it .....That's all!

I am getting back into this blogging thing....

2010-11-18T14:27:00.002-06:00

I have been so caught up into to twitter and facebook, that I forgot my first love..... My blog....
It was thru my blog that I have met so many amazing people that I am blessed to call my friends. I have a real love for my cyber buddies...I have shed tears, shared laughs, gotten angry, over things that have happened in their lives....we have prayed for one another, cared for one another ....and it is truly amazing....we have watched each other's children grow up.....it's really a true kindred ship that I have found with some amazing women and men....

People that I would have not otherwise met, if it was not for blogging or twitter or even facebook....it's crazy because I talk about some of you like my family has known you for years....

You are truly apart of my everyday I life just as my non cyber friends are ......

I love you guys with all my heart....and I have learned a lot from each and everyone of you...

I found a love for beading....
I am learning to sew and knit....
I have got so many great recipes.....THANKS ADRIENNE AND MO....
I HAVE got so many fashion tips and make up tips....Heads up on sales...coupon alerts.....
It's just amazing.....I have gotten some pretty heartfelt advice....even some constructive criticism that made me realize some things about myself....I embrace it all. because a real friend KEEPS IT REAL......I don't want anyone to agree with me all the time...and my Road dog Kim KEEPS IT 100, SHE DON'T SUGAR COAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHE IS A RIDE OR DIE....LOVE HER TO DEATH....if I am wrong tell me, if I look like a fool, dammit say don't take your ass out like that....LOL

It is all in good fun!

You guys are an amazing....VERY DIFFERENT, bunch....no two alike and I love you all! Truly!

I am struggling......

2010-11-15T08:52:00.002-06:00

with losing my DAD!

OMG.......I loved my dad more than YOU CAN IMAGINE...
we were soooooooooooooo close!
Even though I know my dad loved all his kids....I was DUBBED HIS FAVORITE! His baby! I know that to be a fact! Don't tell my other siblings!

When I say there WASN'T ANYTHING that my DAD WOULD NOT DO FOR ME....
I MEAN JUST THAT....

I could ask my dad to DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR ME...He may fuss or even cuss me out, BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE HE DID IT....

I WAS THE BIGGEST DADDY'S GIRL EVER....

My mom couldn't stand it sometimes....because if she SAID NO.....daddy said YES!

Daddy would even let me got outside when mama put me on punishment, but he would say, you better get your ass back in here before she get home from work, if NOT, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.....LOL

It was nothing for me to call my daddy and say I want some pepper steak and have him come home from work and cook it for me....
or say daddy let's go out to eat.....or daddy take me to breakfast,

My daddy was my world.........

Even when I got married, I would STILL CALL MY DADDY to do everything for me...and like always he would cuss me out and then come over and do whatever it is I asked him....

I will never forget when I was 19 it was a HUGE snow storm and I was coming home from school and I was so scared...white out conditions on the road....I WAS PETRIFIED...I had to pull over and call somebody....and that somebody was my daddy. I was HYSTERICAL, CRYING, I said "Daddy it's so bad out here, I don't know what to do, I'm scared" and he left work to come and get me. He brought his friend so that he could drive my car and my dad would drive me home. I was so HAPPY TO SEE THE BIG OLE GREY TRUCK...... He hugged me and kissed me and said "It's alright baby, daddy is here now". I remember being so happy, but I felt so bad, because my dad had to come all the way from the city to get me!

but that is how my dad was....

he would do anything for me....
My other siblings knew that too, and that is why they would send me to ask my daddy to do stuff, because they said he NEVER TOLD ME NO......

I see so much of my dad in me....
His feisty ways....
His low tolerance for bullshit....
His sarcasm....
His swag....

Oh I am definitely my daddy's child....

June 6, 2010 was the HARDEST DAY IN MY LIFE.....
You don't know how bad I just wanted to give up...just shrivel up and die......throw in the towel..

I have spent many nights in my bed........
especially that initial first week................
I really was a zombie.....
My family was really worried......

Then I remember having a fight with my room, I went crazy, throwing shit every where....jumping and kicking in my bed screaming I want my daddy...yeah I lost it....

and then there are those moments I just smile when I think about him....

but my heart will never be healed.....it will never be whole and I miss my daddy more than any one word in the English dictionary can describe...
My life is NOW AND FOREVER CHANGED......

I am struggling.....

2010-11-11T10:52:00.004-06:00

This is my oldest son, Jacques Baptiste Brooks II. We call him B, short for Baptiste..... It used to be Lil' B, but he insisted at a very young age to drop that Lil off, because he was a BIG BOY....

As many of you know, I was a teenage mom. I got pregnant right at the end of my senior year in high school at 17 years old..... I managed to complete my first year of college right before I gave birth to him and I was only 18 29 days when I gave birth to this young man.

I STRUGGLED....yes I did! Not financially, because I did have the support of BAPTISTE and MY PARENTS, but I struggled RAISING a baby, going to college, and working 2, DID YOU HEAR THAT, 2 JOBS......because I didn't want ANYONE SAYING that I COULD NOT OR DID NOT TAKE CARE OF MY BABY......

I was A DETERMINED WOMAN....

I SACRIFICED AND GAVE UP A LOT ......but NOT WITH ANY REGRET....

I couldn't go out and KICK IT WITH MY FRIENDS....like I wanted too...
I couldn't be FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY FREE....I had another LIFE i had to worry about...

I GREW UP VERY FAST...
I was NEVER THE TYPE that put my baby off on ANYBODY, i took care of him myself!

Any help was VOLUNTEERED, because I didn't ask ANYBODY FOR SHIT....except for his DADDY OF COURSE.

I struggled with a lot of GUILT AND SHAME .....I was the youngest child and the first one to give birth to a child.

I was a good child for the most part. I EXCELLED IN school, graduated in the top 10 percent of my class, I was an obedient child for the most part, and i didn't give my parents too much grief, EXCEPT FOR MY MOUTH.....I had a lot of that........and so does my oldest son and my baby girl ......PAY BACK IS A MUTHA.......but getting back on track....

I was very scared and ashamed....

I held on to my pregnancy in secret for 5 months before anybody found out, except for BAPTISTE WHO WAS ECSTATIC......

I was SHOCKED.....foool how you HAPPY.......OUR PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL US!

he told his mother right away and THAT HEFFA GAVE ME A LECTURE! I didn't appreciate it, after all she is NOT MY MOTHER.....

My mom ended up telling me I was pregnant.....
and man .....my PARENTS WERE NOT HAPPY WITH ME.......ESPECIALLY MY DAD, WHO STOP SPEAKING TO ME FOR MONTHS.........

but something amazing happened.....ON MONDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1992 AT 9:14 P.M. I gave birth to a tiny little premie......WHO WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE UNTIL DECEMBER 31st......

He weighed only 6lbs 3 oz.....and he was so little and cute....head full of beautiful hair. I mean he had so much hair, my mom just knew it was a girl, but NOPE....it was a healthy baby boy....

All was right in the world....My parents were so proud and so happy of their first GRANDCHILD....

All the disappointment was WIPED AWAY AT THAT VERY MOMENT....

I gave up so much, but it was worth it........

Fast forward 18 years later.....

I am struggling with a different type of struggle......

My son no longer lives with me.....
He moved in with my mom.....

and while that is very NOBLE OF HIM....

I miss him being home....
I know that sounds selfish, but THAT'S MY CHILD....
I am not ready to let him go....

Sometimes I feel like I lost my dad and my son.....
Even though my mom only lives 5 blocks away...and I see him everyday....

It's a BIG DIFFERENCE...

I can't walk in the middle of the night and kiss him while he's sleeping ....
or wake up to him laying at the foot of my bed snoring.....

or see him fight with his siblings and then love them up the next moment....

The house is just off balance ....

because we are missing HIM......

I know it may be selfish, but I want my son HOME, but i don't know how to take him from my mom........she needs him, but so do I.......

so that is my struggle now....
Not being able to let go....

My kids are my world....and I love them dearly.....

Removing my shell.....

2010-11-10T08:36:00.002-06:00

Warning: This is a very deep and emotional post!

One of the hardest things for me to do in life.....is TO REMOVE MY SHELL.

I am a guarded person! It's hard for me to let my guard down. It's not without good reason. It's because of many things..... I have been hurt and violated in ways that are unimaginable....

One thing that I never ever talk about ......
and I am shaking now even thinking about it is.....

Being sexually assaulted when I was 20 years old.....

I went to a party with my older cousin Tonya.....
We had been party hopping all night...

We ended up on what we call THE LOW END of the city....

I had a couple of drinks....nothing major, maybe 2 wine coolers or something and I was having a good time....

That night I thought I was the shit....I had just gotten my hair done, A symetrical bob, short on my left side, very long on the right, tapered in the back. I had on what I call the EN VOGUE dress, it was black, skin TIGHT, SHORT.............I had on the baddest peep toe pumps with a white bow in the back. I was FLAWLESS THAT NIGHT.....and I knew it.....AND SHOWED IT....
I was young and cocky....... I was getting a lot of action that night. Phone numbers were exchanged, dinner offers were made, and I knew DAMN WELL I WASN'T GONNA CALL OR GO OUT WITH ANYBODY BECAUSE I WAS ENGAGED TO BAPTISTE at the time and I had a little boy waiting for me at home.....BUT IT WAS FUN......GETTING ATTENTION........

My cousin Tonya had met up with a guy at the party and around 1:30 a.m she told me she was leaving with this guy.....and she asked me was I ok! I said yes, but I was really mad. How is this bitch gonna leave me at a party that I don't know anybody! She left and I stayed. At 2am....I noticed that the Male/female ratio in the party was off....It was more men than women and I felt a little uncomfortable.......so I called Baptiste and he didn't answer! I called my brother and he told me he was all the way up north and he could get there between a half hour to 45 minutes..... I DID NOT WANT TO WAIT THAT LONG, BECAUSE I FELT UNCOMFORTABLE......

I called my play brother Vertrell and he didn't answer... So I said FUCK IT....I am about to go to my car and drive home. I thought I was being very aware of my surroundings. When a guy walked up to me and asked me did I have any jumper cables......I felt funny, but I told him I did and began to walk over to my car, with my shoes in one hand and my keys in another. AS I got ready to stick my keys in the car to pop the trunk, a van sped up next to my car, and before I could yell, I was pulled in this van......

My clothes were ripped from my body and a knife was at my throat, and 3 men stood over me, my first instinct was to FIGHT and I did, I got the first guy right in his face, and began kicking, but it was useless against 3 guys, when I hit the floor, trying to hold on as hard as I could to my under wear, I felt the most horrible pain in my shoulder, I was being bit, by one of those animals. I still tried to fight in vain, and I was assaulted, I laid there for what felt like an eternity....During the rape, one of the men, kept saying "Let me make love to you Dana". I was HORRIFIED.....I did not know this man, I had NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER in my life seen him. He was the guy that asked me for the cables, but before then I had never seen him. I just start praying .....I knew they were going to kill me, so I prayed for it to be quick......Yes I prayed fro death.....DEATH WAS BETTER than having 3 strange men violate my body.....I couldn't take it anymore, I was JUST NUMB AND READY TO DIE.... and I think I YELLED OUT "JUST FUCKING KILL ME"......they laughed....and one said, we don't want to kill you bitch.....we just wanted to FUCK! I still prayed to die....how could I face my family after what just happened to me...

Finally, when they were done......they pulled into an alley .....and told me to RUN.......and I did just that......I toook off with, with no clothes, and ran right into the arms of a FIREMAN....I passed out......I don't know what happened in that time...i think my mind just blanked out, BUT I WOKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL, with rape crisis counselors, police detectives, and nurses and doctors everywhere.... I felt like I was being raped all over again, with some of the personal questions I was asked, the tests that had to be performed, and they 5 million shots I had to get in my ass.... When they asked me did I want to call anybody.......I didn't want to see anybody, NOT MY PARENTS, NOT MY SIBLINGS, NOT BAPTISTE, NOT anybody....

I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ASHAMED........
ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS TAKE A BATH AND CRAWL IN MY BED AND NEVER COME OUT.....

But I called my parents, my sister, and Baptiste.....

I couldn't even tell them what happened......
I told the nurses that the only way for them to come back to see me was if they DID NOT BRING UP THE INCIDENT, if they brought up, I wanted them to leave.

I didn't feel like ANSWERING ANY QUESTIONS, I didn't want to have anybody looking at me......it was crazy......

My sister got there first........ she just hugged me, kissed me on my forehead, and held my hand....My BROTHER REFUSED TO COME, BECAUSE HE WAS FURIOUS, and his friends had to calm him down, My mom came in with tears and just laid on my chest, and when Baptiste got there everybody left the room and he just looked at me for 10 minutes and didn't say anything....I wondered what he was thinking..........but he just broke down and we cried together.

This happened to me 15 years ago......AND I CAN REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS 15 MINUTES AGO....this is something that will be etched in my brain FOREVER.....

Of the 3 men.......2 were caught and are STILL IN PRISON, the 3rd fled back to Mexico from where they were all from. They had an extensive record and I don't know how they were on the streets in the first place!

Turns out the one who knew me is the one who fled...he had been stalking me, for months....AND I HAD NO CLUE........His cousin attended my college and he saw me there, and from that moment, he got it in his head to pursue me. I was so angry. How did I not know someone was stalking me. and WHY ME?????????

It's scary knowing that he is still out there, I USED TO LIVE IN FEAR, THAT HE WOULD COME BACK AND FINISH ME OFF, but now, I am READY FOR HIS ASS IF HE DECIDES TO! I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF RAPISTS OF CRAZY LOOKING, UNKEPT MEN. I would have never thought twice about this man, he was attractive, clean, shaven, I had no reason to be alarmed, but I did feel something, and I should have acted on that instinct!

I blamed myself for years ..... If I wasn't dressed like that, if I would have just stayed my dumb ass inside and waited for someone to come and get me, if I would have never talked to that strange man, if, if, if........I still struggle with that sometimes....

I still have nightmares.....I still have moments where I just can't have sex......because this is on my mind......and Baptiste has been very, very, PATIENT......

I decided just a few years ago, that I WAS NOT GOING TO BE A VICTIM, I WAS NOT GOING TO LET THIS BE MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET, THAT I WAS NOT GOING TO LET THIS DEFINE ME.......

but it was MY DECISION, i Had seen crisis counselors for years, support groups, but this was through my own self discovery that I made this decision! I just said Enough was Enough. I was imprisoned in my own mind!

I am NOT SCARED ANYMORE.....
But I AM ON HIGH ALERT WHEN I AM OUT....
this will never ever happen to me again............................I am PREPARED! and that is all I am going to say on that one. My DADDY MADE SURE OF THAT!

This really took a toll not only on me, but MY DAD AND MY BROTHER......my brother really felt it was his fault, because I called him. My dad, felt like he failed as a father because he didn't protect me. Baptiste went through A LOT OF ISSUES behind this and it's sad because we almost broke up over it. But, it was my doing! I just felt like I was damaged goods and he deserved something better........

I know this was something horrible in my life.....but it CHANGED ME FOR THE BETTER....
It opened my eyes to HOW UGLY THE WORLD COULD BE...before then I lived in a PICTURE PERFECT WORLD.....I WAS WAYYYYYYYYYYYY TO TRUSTING........WAY TO NAIVE....

but it also showed me that THEIR IS ALWAYS LIGHT AFTER THE STORM....

Woo, I am in tears now, GOTTA SHAKE IT OFF.....I am such a STRONG WOMAN, and I think we go through things for a reason, this was my Cross to bear. This was my journey.....

We all have shells and walls.....this is one of bricks on my wall that I broke down....I have many more.......and they are slowly tumbling down.

Until next time......

Halloween recap

2010-11-03T08:54:00.001-05:00

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4

Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.

2010-10-30T10:45:00.002-05:00

Seven Guilty Pleasures..............hmmmmmmmm

1. Glazed Cake Donuts...........oh my they are heavenly.......

2. Vanilla Bean Frappuchino with Caramel from Starbucks....

3. Purses and boots........Oh my I have a real problem with those 2....

4. Gadgets....I am a sucker for gadgets..

5. Twitter and facebook......

6. Hoarders I can't get enough of that sick show....

7. Reality TV............I love some good ole smutt bucket tv!

Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.

2010-10-29T08:19:00.002-05:00

I am a total mac geek so this list will reflect that.....

I want ....

1. An Ipad....thought the hubby was buying one for my birthday, boy was I WRONG, but I have the feeling maybe for Christmas...... he is very sneaky and unpredictable, so you never know. But if he doesn't get it I will be ordering one my damn self.......LOL

2. A Mac Book Pro....I have an I mac and I love it! It is the bomb, but I just want a laptop too.....

3. A big ARSE house.... I mean a huge house with a kitchen with granite counter tops, an island, stainless steal everything, a bathroom with a jetted whirlpool tub, big enough for BAPTISTE AND I.....LOL.....HIS AND HER SINKS....huge master bedroom with sitting area, 4 bed rooms, 1 guest room, a library, an office, a scrapbook studio, a music room, and an exercise room....I want a huge backyard with a HEATED in ground pool, I love to swim! That's not too much to ask for is it!

4. A Ferrari.....Ever since I saw Weird Science as a teenager, I have always wanted a Ferrari

5. A shopping at Louis Vutton.....I only have one and took me damn near a year to save up for that ONE PURSE......LOL

6. I want a VACATION HOUSE IN FLORIDA, where we can live our winters.......I hate winter, it's too damn cold in Chicago

7. Ipad.....HAD TO SAY THAT AGAIN, BECAUSE IT'S REALLY WHAT I WANT, HEY YOU HEAR THAT BAPTISTE.........LOL

Sloth

2010-10-27T07:20:00.002-05:00

7 THINGS I NEGLECT TO DO.......

1. Clean my room.....I am a total neat freak except when it comes to my room.....seriously if you saw my room (NOT NOW BECAUSE I CLEANED IT UP 3 DAYS AGO) you would call the people on my ass! I mean I don't have rat shit and dead cats and mice, but I have clothes, books and magazines everywhere!

2. Exercise....I go strong for LONG BOUTS of time, and then I just STOP.....I am a jogger! I love to run, but I cannot tell you the last time I ran!

3. I neglect MYSELF.....sometimes I am always doing something for somebody else that i FORGET ABOUT DANA.....I need to start taking more time for me....

4. My mail, sometimes I don't look at it for days....SHIT WHO WANTS TO LOOK AT BILLS ANYWAY....

5. My hair....I have curly hair and most times it sits at the top of my head in a ponytail......MY DAD HATED THAT. I CAN HEAR HIM SAY, YOU PRETTY AND ALL....BUT DON'T COME OVER HERE NO DAMN MORE WITH THAT PONY TAIL ON THE TOP OF YOUR DAMN HEAD!

6. Lately COOKING...I used to be one of those mom's that cooked every single day.....I love cooking for my family! But once my dad got sick and eventually passed, I just got out of that. I am starting to cook more now, but Baptiste does most of the cooking!

7. Painting....I love to paint, but I have neglected doing something I love for a long time now....maybe I should pull out my easel and canvas this weekend! MAYBE! Keyword: Maybe! LOL

This was fun......

Wrath

2010-10-19T10:16:00.002-05:00

Things I despise....

1. Liars: My mama always said if you Lie, you steal, if you steal you kill.......I hate a liar!
2. A thief.....you can ask me for anything, but if you steal from me, I will cut off your fingers!

3. Elisabitch on the view.....I cannnnnnnnnnnnot stand this heffa. Everything about her irritates me! Her whiny ass voice. Her Obama bashing! Kill your self! please!
4. People who exaggerate! Oh my God that pisses me off! Just tell it like it is.....My inlaws have that shit bad! They have to make shit bigger than what it already is.......Ugh! i hate it!

5. Cry baby ass kids.....Ugh that drives me nuts! I have one in my house and her name is Jaree~
6. People who talk crap about things they know nothing about.....SHUT UP....
7. People who talk shit behind my back, but SMILE ALL UP IN MY FACE...I have NO RESPECT FOR PHONY BITCHES!

OOOOO, I can go on and on, but those 7 are at the top!

I jumped the gun....LOL

2010-10-16T21:51:00.002-05:00

DAY 2 ENVY.....I DID LUST, SKIPPED RIGHT TO THE END....but hey me and RULES...UH....NO....LOL

7 things that I envy....

1. Tall people.....being short sucks sometimes....

2. People with washboard abs...I had those PRE-3 BABIES.....

3. People with straight hair, my hair is very curly and it's very hard to manage....

4. I wished I could manage my time a little better, I always accomplish what I need to accomplish, but I rush doing it.....and it makes me crabby!

5. I wished that I wouldn't let PEOPLE get under my skin! My mom is so cool, calm, and collected and me I am A HOT HEAD, it's gotten me into plenty of trouble, it's really one thing I would love to change about myself...

6. Young folks....I would give my right kidney to be young with no debt, no bills, and no responsibility....tell me kids ALL THE TIME BETTER ENJOY BEING A DAMN CHILD....

7. People who can sew....Like reallly sew.....I envy that. I can't wait to be able to say that i can sew! LOL

I love this .....and I am seriously thinking about doing a scrapbook on this ...

Lust

2010-10-15T08:52:00.003-05:00

7 Deadly Sins...
Today is Lust (7 love secrets)

1. I am a very sexual person! I love SEX...i mean love, love, love, love sex! Baptiste has always said I will be the death of him one day. I can literally go 3-4 times a day and want more.

2. SEX is always on my mind....If I am not doing it, I am thinking about it!

3. I am a competitive lover, you will not OUT DO ME....

4. I talk shit while I am ahem engaged......

5. I am very much into role play....I have been a nurse, a teacher, a police officer, a hostage, a prisoner.....oh you name it I PLAY, and my alter ego is MISS ANN AND THAT BITCH IS A BEAST!

6. I am a creative romantic....I can set the tone....and I am the MASTER OF SEDUCTION...

7. I have made love to LL Cool J a hundred times in my mind......that is the ONLY man that I would cheat on my husband with.....hey I am being honest. LL Could have me any and every way he liked and I bet you he would come running back for more....TRUST ME! *WINK*

I am glad that Mo decided to do this challenge. People have hang ups with sex. They don't like to talk about it....women are considered slutty or trashy, if they do. I have been with the same man since I was 16, I am no SLUT....but I loooooooooove Sex! Period. I didn't start late as you Mo, but I was 17.....and IT WAS ON AND POPPING SINCE THEN.......

Pride

2010-10-14T08:13:00.002-05:00

Seven Great things about myself!

Hmmmmmmmm okay....Just 7.....yes I am a vain person...LOL

1. I am a great mother and wife....I will kill a brick over my family! THERE IS NOTHING I WONT' DO FOR THEM....

2. I am a BEAUTIFUL PERSON....inside and out!

3. I get noticed everywhere I go...and I am usually the center of attention, I like that sometimes..

4. I got the GIFT OF GAB....Daddy always said I can talk the sugar out of sweet bread...My mouth is not only pretty it SERVES A PURPOSE...

5. I usually get what I want.....One way or the other

6. I am a GREAT LOVER.....can't believe I just said that, but hmmmmm It is what it is ...

7. I am a A GREAT SCRAPBOOKER.....I kick ass when it comes to scrapping!

Like I said.....only 7....I could go on and on tooting my own horn, but those 7 seemed to stick out at the moment!

Wonderful Challenge...

Thanks Mo and Adrienne for the inspiration.....

I needed to knock the dust bunnies off my blog!

saying hello from my droid!

2010-08-18T09:58:00.001-05:00

i can blog from my phone! how neat! love this app! i gave the dog a bath! he looks so cute!!!!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.3.1

This and that.......

2010-08-18T07:11:00.002-05:00

OmG, It has been forever since I blogged!
I think I forgot how! LOL

Anyway......
What have I been doing?

reading: Don't laugh, but I am still reading Breaking Dawn, not a slow reader at all.....You know how you get to that last bite of juicy steak and you want to savooooooour it, that is what I am doing! I don't want it to end! I know sad!

scrapping, scrapping, and more scrapping....I really think I have found my style. I amaze myself sometimes. I think I am one KICK ASS SCRAPBOOKER......LOL

PAINTING, PAINTING AND MORE PAINTING....I feel connected to my dad when I paint as most of you know he was an Artist.......

Shopping, shopping and more shopping.....not just for me, but for the kiddies! I don't ever want to see another damn school supply as long as I live..........

Do you know my boys are more picky shoppers than Jaree.....and that is SAD!

I HAVE COMPLETELY FELL OFF ON MY EXERCISE AND I AM ASHAMED TO SAY I GAINED 9 LBS...........But enough of the tears, time to do something about it......

I need some new running shoes!

I made the switch to Droid X.....yeah I know! I was a BLACKBERRY GIRL to my heart!!!!!! but now............I am totally Android. I loveeeeeeeeeeee my phone. No crashes, no taking the battery out to reload it........and I love my TikL to talk appp......chirp your friends all day......and nothing beats freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Baptiste is SUCH A GADGET GEEK....He has to have the latest and greatest everything.....DRIVES ME INSANE....he goes on CNet and youtube and researches EVERY SINGLE THING before he buys it!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS? He really uses his phone at it's FULL POTENTIAL because he knows everything about the DROID X.....ME NOT SO MUCH! LOL Still learning, but I love all the camera apps....especially FX Camera and Retro Camera...........

I miss my daddy so much, that one day I think I snapped and lost my mind for about an hour....screaming, yelling, punching shit, throwing shit around, I had an ADULT TEMPER TANTRUM........glad no one was home to witness it!

My mama has become my little puppy, she CLINGS TO ME, but she drives me iNSANE AND FOR THAT I FEEL SOOOOO GUILTY!

My baby started High School! When he was on the bus stop which is litterally 10 feet from my door.....I balllllllllled! Those tears came out of no where but it was for a lot of reasons. My dad was NOT there to see that moment and yeah I know he was there in spirit, but physically he was not and my dad and my nephew always cut Jariel's hair.........when he sat in that barber chair he JUST LET IT OUT..........he criedddddddddd crieddddddddddd crieeeeeeeeeedd I had to get him together before he could even get his hair cut! My poor kids are having a rough time with my dads death......and Jariel is taking it the worse! Which is shocking to me because my oldest and my dad were EXTREMELY CLOSE.....you know how it is with that FIRST grandchild!

I have started a journal that I write my dad ............thanks Monica! It helps!

I want a new camera too Adrienne! LOL I kinda have an idea of what I want too....Kinda..LOL

I DON'T NEED ANOTHER DAMN PURSE AS LONG AS I LIVE, BUT I KEEP BUYING MORE AND MORE PURSES.........it's my addiction!

People assume it's shoes, because I am always in a shoe store, but NOPE it's purses! LOL

I don't give a damn about NAME BRAND CLOTHING, but I seem to buy it A LOT for my kids......THE ONLY THING that I has to be a brand name.....are my GYM SHOES.....idk why?

I will shop at Walmart in a minute, Target, but don't get it twisted I can shop at Macy's too and I have..........I just don't like spending a whole lot of money on clothes, unless it's a special occasion, every day clothes........CHILE PLEASE....i did NOT GET THAT FROM MY MAMA, I got that from my DADDY..........LOL

I really miss my son B! He moved in with my mom and the house seems so DEAD without him here! That boy is a fool! He will keep you laughing.............but he can get on your damn nerves too! that was my right hand too.. He helped with the cooking, the cleaning, taking care of his siblings.....and they MISS HIM TOO, more than they thought. Now my mama only lives 3 minutes away......6 blocks....and we see him every day, but it's still a difference. KWIM?

I HAVE MIXED EMOTIONS ABOUT HIM MOVING OUT....I think it's NOBLE, my mom doesn't have anyone there....but I like him with me! I know, Selfish, but I feel like I gave him away, even though it was his decision to go live with my mom! He misses us too and I think he is now starting to have second thoughts, but does not want to hurt my mom's feelings!

Switching lanes........

The new season of Bad Girls club, these bitches ARE JUST CRAZY, like STRAIGHT JACKET crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I still think it will be hard to out do the other 4 seasons, but it's been nothing but chaos and drama from episode 1.

I am so ready for Vampire Diaries next month! I am so anxious to see what's gonna happen with the whole Catherine story line.....she pretended to be Elena and killed her father on the last episode and I cannot wait to see what is going to happen in Season 2!!!!!!

Is True Blood NOT THE SHIT? Omg, NOTHING ON TELEVISION can TOUCH IT.......I get so anxious during the later half of the week......because I can't wait for Sundays to get here.....I know what SOOOKIE IS????????????? Do you?????? LOL This Season is UNDOUBTEDLY going to be the BEST SEASON EVER.....hate for it END.......

I sure hope there is going to be a new Season of Supernatural I need my fix of the Winchester boys.........OMG Dean is so HOTTTTTTTTTTTT! I LOVE THAT SHOW TOO!

I also love the new show The Gates.....it's good, but everybody is trying to be like True Blood!
It's a million VAMPIRE shows on television now.....I remember when it was only Buffy and Angel! LOL Loved those shows AND CHARMED!

I heard it's not going to be a new season of V... heard it was cancelled........I hope NOT.....i Loved that show...I THINK THEY TOOK TOO MANY LONG HIATUSES and that KILLED THE RATINGS, but the show was the shit!

When is the new season of Dancing with the Stars coming on? I love that show.......

I have become addicted to Clean house and Hoarders....makes me CLEAN UP STUFF THAT DON'T NEED CLEANING.....I just don't understand how people live like that! That is just INSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!

I am taking a sewing and knitting class this fall. I am so excited! Hubby said I don't need anymore hobbies, but he is going to have to get over it! LOL

He did just buy me the cutest scrapbook tote set! I am going to look too cute at my crops....
I plan to do more of that too!

Speaking of crops, i just downloaded Skype..........thinking of doing a virtual crop with some demos where everyone shows a different technique of some sort! Yeah, maybe I should start planning that soon!!!!! What do you think????????

Well I think I have been going on and on long enough..........

that's what happens when I take long breaks between blogging, I don't know when to shut up! LOL

so, until next time................

Let's Talk Eclipse (May contain some spoilers)

2010-07-09T10:11:00.002-05:00

I honestly LOVED THIS MOVIE! In my opinion, It was the best of the 3! And it really stuck to storyline which really, really, really impressed me! We went to the midnight showing, got great seats! But, there were so many teens there chanting their teams, that a lot of the movie got lost with their soundtrack, but I knew this would be the case......If I didn't hear I love you Edward or I love you Jacob, Marry me Jacob, a million times, but It made it fun! Even Jaree yelled out TEAM JACOB BABY!!!!! That's my daughter, I am so TEam Jacob! I was team Edward, until New Moon, when he left Bella.........I know he had reasons, but still! Plus, Jacob is a bad boy, hella sexy!!!! LOL

This movie HAD ME ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT!!!! It was jammed packed.........with ACTION. I wished they could have made it into two films because, I wanted so much more.....

The fight scenes were amazing and I am so glad that you really get to see Jasper and his story! This boy is AMAZING!!!!!!! But Alice! That is all I am going to say, that girl is NOTHING TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY.........

I WAS HOPING THEY WERE NOT GOING TO LEAVE THE RED HEADED WOMAN story out! I was so pleased that it showed how the cold ones and the wolves became enemies......so important to this particular story, and to see them come together was amazing.....

I must say Emmet was looking mighty good in this film.....CAUGHT MY EYE.....LOL

I just loved the movie and I will be camped out at Walmart getting my Special Edition DVD when it comes out in November or December~~~

I ended up taking all the kids and my niece and nephew Aaron and Aaliyah, and MOM TOO...she was asking questions from the beginning to the end......I was like WTF, READ THE BOOKS....I WANT TO SEE THIS.....when i stopped answering the questions and shifted my posture in an opposite direction, she got the picture.....she would have killed us if we said one word during THE GODFATHER AND ALL IT'S SAGA, we couldn't ask her shit! LOL

But my niece Aaliyah, is hilarious, Jaree and I are both Team Jacob, Baptiste says he's team BELLA, that boy is a fool, but anyway my niece said she's team JEDWARD, she loves Jacob and Edward....we all fell out laughing......

I got a chance to see it again and it was soooooo much I missed or didn't hear, and I loved it even more the second time around........and I can see a third time, reallllllly soon! My friend Adrienne, got me hooked ....I read all the books, and I just bought the other book, about Bree the newborn, and I plan to start reading on MOnday!!!!!! Gonna make a Border's run!

But I give it 2 thumbs up.....and would definitely recommend it to you Twilight fans!!!!!

I had to devote a whole blog about this....

so much more I want to say, but I don't want to spoil it alllllllll! LOL

so until next time

Sometimes, when....

2010-07-08T06:46:00.002-05:00

so much happens in your all at one time.....you tend to think it's Personal.....an attack.....and for me I began to lose my faith! We were hit with so many tragedies, that I cannnnnnnnnnot even begin to count them all! Losing my father, my niece was missing, my brother almost died of a ruptured appendix, my nephew becoming paralyzed, and then dying, and so much OTHER drama.....it just becomes too much!!!!!! Too much for any ONE PERSON to bear......

I have really been struggling.....I mean really struggling, so much that I even thought about GIVING UP AND GIVING IN......

I miss my FATHER SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

My mother is LOST without my dad.........and I see her breaking down every SINGLE DAY.....It breaks my heart, but at the same time IT DRAINS ALL THE LIFE OUT OF ME..... I feel helpless all over again, I couldn't save my dad and I can't think of anything to say or do, so that my mom won't be in so much pain, I can't help her because I can't even help myself.....

My dad was EVERYTHING to our family. He did EVERYTHING.....He KNEW how to do ANYTHING.......I called him for just about EVERYTHING......and he would fuss and cuss me out, but HE LOOOOOVED DOING THINGS FOR ME.....because I was "HIS BABY".

THIS IS SO HARD FOR ME ......

I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRRRRRRRRRR BE THE SAME......

then my nephew. so full of life and promise.......WHY?????????

HE wasn't out here thugging, robbing, stealing, killing.......He was a good kid....

I just really don't know how I am going to get thru this...

I don't see light at the end of the tunnel....

As soon as I get HALF WAY ok....THOUGHTS FLOOD MY MIND, and I am right back at square one....I just don't see and ending....

I try so hard, to be who I WAS, before this happened, but MAYBE I HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS CHANGE, because I am not the same......I took 2 massive blows to my heart......I just don't see me being that HAPPY GO LUCKY, SILLY, CRAZY, FUNNY, FUN....DANA....

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A KILL JOY and I don't like going out anymore....I just don't want to bring other people down, because I am hurting, KWIM???????

Well, maybe you don't know what I mean, but I am HURTING so bad.....

All that I ask is that you PRAY FOR ME....AND IF YOU DON'T MEAN ME ANY GOOD, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.....

because I am NOT in the MOST STABLE FRAME OF MIND, I could literally rip somebody apart with my bare hands......THAT'S HOW MUCH PINNED UP FRUSTRATION I HAVE.....

So, I try very hard not to let PEOPLE make me mad, because I am gonna be honest.....I HAVE THE WORST TEMPER......before I know it I black out and I have choked the shit out of someone or slapped the shit out of someone, or beat some one's ass, and I know that is not the answer and I have been working on that.........and praying about it.....so I try to just IMMEDIATELY calm myself down!!!!!!!!!!

I am not one FOR TALKING, I just can't sit there and argue, after awhile, IT GETS TO ME, AND I LEAP............I DON'T THINK.....and now I really don't know if I can control it, because of so many emotions that I am hit with everyday........

Again, just pray for my peace of mind, my strength, my patience, and my bad temper.....

I just don't want to do anything that I regret later.....

With all that being said, I am HUMAN, I make MISTAKES, if I step on your toes, IT'S NOT INTENTIONAL, just know that I am going through a lot and forgive me in Advance......

Had to get all this off my chest....

I don't mean any harm, it's just not a good time for BULLSHIT...

WELL, I think it's time for me to get on with the get on....

So, UNTIL NEXT TIME......

My baby thinks she's a Diva!!!! and other ramblings..

2010-06-30T10:52:00.002-05:00

So this is a picture taken at Jariel's graduation and Baptiste's aunt Ne-Ne photo shopped a picture of Baptiste's father (deceased) into the picture and I can suuuuure see the resemblance especially with B on the right. Jariel too, but everybody knows Jariel is my twin! LOL

≈

Jaree loves going to the shop!!!!! I think she is spoiled!!!!! and it's my mother that has spoiled her! LOL But this time her auntie Coey and Lisa took her to the shop and she is very specific about her hair, she will tell you what and how she wants her hair to look like!

Looking Like her daddy!!!!!

I love my family. Call us crazy...call us ghetto but we have a balllllllllllllllll when we get together! We were toasted! and the kids was trying their best to get that punch!!!!!!! no ma'am! LOL

I literally kicked with these heffas for 4 days......started off at the Taste Friday, we acted complete fools because BBD, SALT AND PEPPA, DOUGIE FRESH, SLICK RICK AND ROB BASE WAS THERE.....WE DANCED, SCREAMED, CLAPPED, JUMPED, FAINTED, WE HAD A FREAKING BALLLLLLLLLL!

Saturday, I went to a BBQ at my cousin Tammy's huggggggggggggge house! I am so proud of my lil cousin, she came from very humble and meager meanings, but she is THE HEAD CARDIAC NURSE of Ingall's hospital and has a 750,000 house! Gone head on cuz!!!!

that is Tammy, this is taken at my parents house, she would kill me if i put the picture taken that day!!!! LOL

thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.......sunday we went to the water park, it stormed, cleared up and just before we went home I almost killed myself! but that I will keep to myself!

Thought I was going to sleep in on Monday, didn't them heffas come to my house on Monday!!!!!! Damn go home! LOL so we kicked it again!!!!!!

and yesterday I didn't get any sleep because I was too excited for Eclipse and it was soooooooo good! I will devote a whole blog to that.........so stay tuned!!!!

Bare with me, I have to get used to this whole blogging thing again!!!!!!!!! LOL

Until next time........

My mind is clicking at 150 million clicks per second....

2010-06-25T08:17:00.004-05:00

Since my dad was diagnosed with cancer, we have been running, doctors appointments, chemo, radiation, back and forth to the hospital and now all of that is over, so I don't have anything to keep me busy (as I was) except for my thoughts....

I have had time to think about so much and I decided that everything I THINK i want to do I am just GOING TO DO IT....

I WANT TO TRAVEL...
I WANT TO FINISH SCHOOL (i have 18 hours left to get my Master's)
I WANT TO START MY BAKERY BUSINESS, I make awesome cakes and brownies.......
I WANT TO LEARN TO SEW
I WANT TO LEARN TO KNIT..
I WANT TO LEARN TO CROCHET..
I WANT TO RE-LEARN HOW TO QUILT...
I WANT TO LEARN BEAD AND MAKE JEWELRY....
I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY MORE....
I WANT TO DO ME...

I WANT TO DO SO MUCH ..........

THE PROBLEM WITH THAT BEFORE WAS that I am A PROCRASTINATOR...
that's one thing I always admired about my sister, she just went for it...if she failed, she picked her self up and went at it again....

I AM TERRIFIED OF FAILURE, and that keeps me from a lot of things....

Now that my daddy is gone, I have changed so much....
Shit that bothered me before, doesn't bother me now.....

I just don't care......
Life is tooooooo short for BULLSHIT, you better know it....

I am DOING ME..........LIVING FREEE.........LIKE A BUTTERFLY....

The life of a butterfly starts off very restricted... as a CATERPILLAR, It has to inch around on it's belly, it's hard to get around, he's more vulnerable, because he can't move as fast, it is restricted and limited in it's abilities....

but then the CATERPILLAR GOES INTO A METAMORPHOSIS, IT builds a cocoon around itself, and nothing can get in or out..... and while inside that cocoon a change is happening, it is TRANSFORMING, CHANGING, EVOLVING, into a BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY.....

Have you ever watched a butterfly in action......
It is so graceful, beautiful and FREE......

IT CAN FLY WHERE IT WANTS TO BE....
IT GOES WITH THE FLOW......
SO FREE.......

and that's what I want to be, before ... I was that caterpillar, RESTRICTED BY MY OWN IDEAS, THOUGHTS, AND FEARS.....

BUT, when my daddy died, I built a cocoon, and I didn't let anybody in......during that time I was changing and evolving, and now I am at my higher self...

I am living freely.............doing as I want..........not scared or limited by own thoughts and fears....

Whatever I want to do I will do it...(Legally....LOL)

But, it's just sad it took for my daddy to leave this earth for me to realize I was my own worst enemy..........

NO MORE.....
THAT DANA, IS DEAD, RIGHT ALONG WITH MY FATHER.....

THIS IS A NEW DANA.......AND I AM LIVING FREE JUST LIKE A BUTTERFLY....

yoooooohoooooo anybody there......

2010-06-24T11:27:00.004-05:00

Well I am not blogging for everyone to read, this is sort of therapy for me...
As many of you may know my dad was diagnosed with Lung Cancer January 6th of this year, he passed away 6 months to the day June 6th. This HURT ME SO BAD. I know it's early, but I don't think I will EVER BE THE SAME. I loved my daddy so much. He was my world. I would call my daddy to help me before I would call Baptiste, it was just natural for me I guess. There WASN'T ANYTHING, that my daddy would not do for me. I am going to be so lost without him. I know i have memories, but right now this is still PAINFUL, this is still A TOUCHY SUBJECT, Just a couple days before he died, I cradled him in my arms and hummed to him, he just laid on me like a baby.....oh my God! Wooooooooooo! Not going to break down! But 2 days later, I cradled him inside my arms as ANGELS carried his soul away. Just before he died, literally seconds before he died, He opened his eyes really big,like he was seeing something beautiful and bright, and then one eye blinked, and he died with his eyes wide open! I know this sounds hard, but my dad had the most beautiful green eyes you would ever want to see, they would often change to hazel,blue, or grey and when he died they were all of those colors in one....His eyes looked so beautiful! I just looked him awhile before it hit me what really had happened, then I heard someone screaming and it was a scream that sounded PRIMAL AND FROM THE PIT OF SOME ONE'S STOMACH, A GUT WRENCHING SCREAM, and I realized it was me, It was if I was outside my own body, I lost it, all of my strength just left my body, I just screamed, cried and held my daddy until I felt like letting him go....I think that was 3 hours later, I wouldn't stop holding him, kissing him, stroking his face, I am USUALLY SCARED OF DEATH, but I was not scared of my daddy! ...

I have no REGRETS, I was there to the end.....
I love my daddy .....death cannot change that....
I know he is not suffering any more and now I have some one in heaven saving my spot!

I will miss him more than any word in the English language can express...
After all, I was a BIG OLE DADDY'S GIRL.....

BUT I KNOW, WE WILL MEET AGAIN, and that is what i hold on too....

Daddy, YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL FATHER'S ANYBODY COULD HAVE ASKED FOR...
YOU DID ABOVE AND BEYOND WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF ANY DAD...
YOU ALWAYS HAD MY BACK......AND FOR THAT I LOVE YOU TO INFINITY AND BEYOND........

I won the bad blogger of the year award!!!!!

2010-03-31T22:43:00.003-05:00

I won't stay away this long again! I promise

Tgif and throw back friday]

2010-02-12T12:20:00.001-06:00

I haven't blogged in a while, blame it on Facebook and twitter! i am an addict! Yes I admit it, but i had to show some love to my first love, my blog. I have been goood! kids are good. hubs is good, pets are good......LOL

But without further adieu I am going to throw it on back.....

Until next time!!!!

A little bit of everything

2010-01-06T01:25:00.002-06:00

I really have to get back into this blog thing!

I am a little rusty, so please forgive me, you can blame that on twitter and facebook. I am so addicted! and now Baptiste is too! We just laugh when we ask each other, what the other is doing because it's always the same answer, TWITTER, FACEBOOK......LOL

Lately, I have been having trouble sleeping! I don't know why, but I am....

I have been a lazy ass, for the last couple of days, plan to change that PRONTO, SO NOT DANA!

I really, really, really, really want the iPHONE and I can't wait until it comes to VERIZON!

I love my BB, but it's something about that iPHONE.

I don't know if I mentioned it, but the last day of school (before Christmas break) Jaree came home upset, apparently a girl that she didn't like and vice versa took her coat off the bus, for weeks I tried to find out where this little girl lived, because I was pissed. I don't have time for BS. We never could find her house. Well, I told Jaree (well I can't tell you what I told her), but I told her she needed to handle that the first day they got back to school. Well turns out the COAT was in the classroom all the time. I am so glad we never found that poor child's house! Talking about eating words........

I really want to try my hand at Shrimp and grits. I always here good things about it, so I want to try it myself!!!!!! Mo is going to send the recipe! Can't wait!

I am watching Training Day, while I type this. Denzel is so damn sexy! wooooooo!

There are a couple of movies I want to see, Daybreakers and Legion! Can't wait til they come out!

I have to turn my status to offline on facebook, because this man from Turkey keeps stalking me, hubby says, that's what I get for all the provocative pics I take. He's a mess!

I only lost 3lbs in this twitter challenge. I am a little disappointed, but I am going to keep at it! i want to lose between 30-40lbs! I want to lose 3o before my bff's wedding!

I miss my brother. I mean I really miss him. He is very distant from the family. This is a really hard situation for me, because we were so close growing up. I don't know why he is like that, but it hurts me. I don't want to talk to much about it, because it makes me cry everytime! But I wonder does he think about us......Does he miss me? Let me stop talking about before I start bawling.....

Switching lanes!

Baptiste has stared twisties, i mean I like them and then I don't! I guess I am not sold on them yet. He thinks he's FINE thought. Can't tell him NOTHING BABY!

My dad gets the results to his biopsy tomorrow. I am praying for good news. I will definitely be getting back to you on that! I love my dad so much, I am a daddy's girl! For that matter I am a mama's girl too. I am just a spoiled brat basically. I am the baby! Enough said! Any hoo, I am not claiming any thing and I know it will be just fine!

Jaree goes to the beauty shop every two weeks THANKS TO MY MOM! When this little heffa comes home, she is in I'M THE ISH MODE, total ATTITUDE CHANGE, wonder where she gets that from. *cough cough* I am not claiming that! LOL

It's almost 2 am as I type this and I know full well I gotta get up with these kids in the morning so I am going to end this with a UNTIL NEXT TIME.........

Goodbye 2009....

2009-12-31T13:07:00.005-06:00

Wow, what a year, what a year!!!!!

This year my baby turned ten, my baby boy became a teenager, my oldest is in his senior year in high school! ugh it's too much, where did the time go!

Overall I can say it was a pretty good year!

I moved into a nice house, in a GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD! It's bliss!

I didn't want to go into the new year without sharing some pics ....

so enjoy!

As usual , she was typical jaree! She asks for a billion things, get them all, and zooms in and one thing. This year, it was her ipod NANO! oh and the i-dog, but that is just because it goes to the ipod. She asked for some games for her nintendo dsi, she got 5! Disney Friends, My Baby Girl First Steps, World of Zoo, Two Guitar Hero games, she got the Girl Gourmet Cake Bakery, and some Moxie Girls (the new bratz)! And it's been all about the ipod! LOL She does play her games though! So I guess I can't complain tooooo much! LOL

As for Jariel he loved his laptop, even if he does look dead!

Bee got money, he was goooood! LOL

My babies are getting big yall!

and I am crying.

Peace, love and hair grease in 2010!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T02:36:00.002-06:00

From our House to yours! Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!

Charlie Brown Christmas Tree

2009-12-22T01:32:00.001-06:00

This was one of my favorite movies when I was a child and I still love it to this day and so do my kids!!!!!

I hate feeling this way......

2009-12-12T12:40:00.002-06:00

Some of you know that I suffer from Depression! I was diagnosed in the 8th grade with clinical depression. It was a scary time because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I would have uncontrollable crying spells, days where I didn't want to get out of the bed, labored breathing, aching bones, it was just crazy! So crazy I had to be hospitalized and medicated. That is a time in my life I try to forget, but It has made me a stronger person!

The holidays are happy and sad for me all at the same time. I don't know why? yesterday was one of those days! Where I cried my eyes out, for no apparent reason! I haven't had any bouts this year with depression and felt I was on a roll! But then bang!

I have learned so many ways to cope with it! I have not been medicated since I was 14 years old. I learned to pray! and pray hard!!!!!

Today I am feeling less anxious! I don't feel that weight on my chest!

It comes it goes......

I am thankful to God Almighty that it was a quick bout!

I have been laid up for days because of it!

I am so thankful to have such a supportive family!

i am the the only that has it in my family or maybe I should say I am the only one who was diagnosed with it!

I think my brother suffers from it too!

When I was young I used to question Why me????

But, I think having this has made me a better person!

A stronger person...

It definitely made me closer to God!

PRAYER REQUEST

2009-12-08T13:56:00.003-06:00

I am so nervous. My dad came over last night and told me they found a suspicious mass on his lung! I am beyond nervous. I love my daddy sooooooooooooo much! and No I am not claiming anything, but it just choked me up! He goes to the doctor on tomorrow, so I am asking for your prayers please! My mom was diagnosed with Colon Cancer in 2005 and that BLEW ME!!!!! That was a very hard time for us, but thank God my mom is Cancer free now! I guess one of the reasons I am kind of scared is because my uncle Marion passed away 2 years ago from Lung Cancer! So it just makes me a little weary!
I had my GOOD CRY! and I am done! I am going to be strong for my parents!
I will keep you posted as soon as I hear something!

a little of this and a little of that.......

2009-12-07T07:56:00.003-06:00

As of Thursday, I am officially done with my Christmas shopping!
Jariel is going to be so excited when he get's his Laptop!
No matter what I get Jaree for Christmas, she never seems to be fully happy!
I am so excited it snowed!
I have a Nintendo DSI and I never play it, didn't know it went on the Internet! LOL I ended up giving it to Jaree! LOL
I got the new Blackberry Storm! and I love it!!!!!
I went to bed after 3am and I am was up at 7am! I have Insomnia man!
Baptiste has asked me a gazillion times what I want for Christmas and I have NO CLUE!
I helped my mom put up her Christmas tree and all she did was hand me the ornaments to put on! Wow!
I am so damned tired of hearing about Tiger Woods, leave that man and his PRIVATE life alone. Damn!!!!
I think I am the only one in the world who thinks NIKKI MINAJ CAN'T RAP!
What is up with the dual names on facebook like ..... Jasmine Michael Jackson Bad Reid or Chi Chi So Lovely White, or Kevin So Damn Crucial Williams, I guess I just don't get it!
My pets are spoiled, super spoiled! Especially my Dog Goldie
I have been on a Hershey with Almond Kick. Just can't get enough.
My kids old school is on STRIKE, wow!
Jaree ONLY pretends to believe in Santa Claus, I know she does not believe anymore!
Baptiste cooked Chili yesterday and it was so good, it's because he puts steak in it! Soooooooooo yummy!
Ocean Spray Cranberry juice is the best!
Have you ever heard of the Tilted Kilt, it's restaurant similar to Hooters, B went with his buddies and he way excited!
My daughter is SO DEVELOPED! I am crying! She looks at least 15 years old and she is only 10. She has a body out of this world and she is only 10. I want to cry!
Baptiste is thinking about getting the Droid, me NOT SO MUCH. BLACKBERRY FAN BABY!
I would however like an iPHONE! LOL
I am cooking Jambalaya tonight, extra large shrimp, soft water prawns, chicken breast, and smoked sausage, mmmmmm hmmmmm good!
and I am about to lay in bed and watch the news for a bit and then get up and start cleaning!
THA THA THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!!!

Blast from the past

2009-12-04T02:21:00.001-06:00

It has been ages since I posted an Old School Friday. Trying to get back into this blogging thing. I got consumed by Facebook and Twitter! LOL

Adrienne and I used to have a friendly challenge every Friday! LOL

This song right here, is guaranteed to be played at every Family gathering, every family reunion, I absolutely love Parliament!!!!! LOL

and I will jump out of my seat any and everytime this song is played!!!!!!

Flashliiiiiiigggghhhhhht

Spot light, Neon light, .....LOL

enjoy!!!!!!

Having a mommy moment......

2009-12-03T15:38:00.003-06:00

When I look at Christmases over the past, I notice a lot has changed. No more midnight runs to Toys R us, trying to find that special toy, it just seems surreal my kids are growing up! Even my 10 year old is not asking for a whole lot of toys! It kinda makes me sad. Now my oldest got toys all the way up into he was 13 years old, then he started asking for the high tech stuff.....

It's sad to think I don't have any babies anymore! I love the hustle and bustle of Christmas. I love shopping! My mom said I should be glad I don't have to get all those toys but it makes me sad! Now this was Jaree's Christmas in 2006. I KNOW RIDICULOUS!!!!!!

She wanted them damn talking bratz twins. I had to go to 6 different toys r us until I found it!!!!!!

Click here for Christmas 2007: Jaree's Christmas, you will see it was just slightly smaller! Very slight! LOL

Then Christmas 2008 Considerably less toys more games and gadgets, same this year!!!! I just want to cry!!!!!!!

I hate to see my kids grow up! I mean I hate it!!!!!!

When I see other parents buying their kids toys and dolls and hot wheels cars, and nerf guns, racing tracks, it makes me miss those days!!!!

I don't know call me crazy! But it just makes me sad!!!!!!!!

You can click on the pics to make them bigger!

Does anyone else with older kids feel this way????? Or is it just me?

I am about to go cry now, until next time!!!

Had a Wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!!

2009-11-30T20:45:00.004-06:00

We had a balll!!!!!!! WE ate good! Played some games, watched some movies, and ate some more!!!!!!!! We had so much fun!!!!!!
The kids wanted their pictures taken! I took so many pics of them! They think they are MYSPACE MODELS!!!!!!

I DID the dum dum and stayed up all damn night so we could go to Black Friday ....Don't think I recovered from that yet!!!!!! Walmart WAS INSANE!!!!!!!!!!! I STEPPED ONE FOOT INSIDE AND GOT THE HELL OUT OF THERE. Target had a line for everything, if you were getting Ipod, they had a line for that, tv's yep, a line for that, video games, a line for that! Wasn't in line No time!!!!! Got in and got out! Went to Gamestop, the line was long as hell! My feet was killing me.....LOL Then we went to toys r us and the line went down every aisle like an amusement park line! The things we do for our CHILDREN......

I have been having mommy moments. My kids are 17,13, and 10 so I don't t really have any babies any more. It makes me sad. Jareee still likes toys and dolls, but not as much as she did!!!! I was bawling today thinking about it! I wish they would never grow up..... anyway, I am trying to find a good laptop for for Jariel, found some nice ones, but I have to do my research. That is going to be his one and only damn gift! LOL I try to stay to budget when it comes to Christmas, I will go all out for your birthday, because it's only one person, but Christmas I am buying for alot of people!

I really enjoy going out with my mom and sis on Black Friday! We have been doing this for years! We really have a ball! I would say for the last 15 or 16 years we have been doing this!

Does anyone else go out on Black Friday????? This year, the deals were just ok! Last year, was much better, atleast for the stuff I was looking for........

I have all my Christmas decorations out, but not up.....What's my problem, maybe tommorrow huh! We'll see

I 'm going to to leave you with a few more of my photo's from Thanksgiving!

Baptiste is going to kill me for this picture, he was MAXING THAT FOOD!!!!!!!!!! HOPE YOU ENJOYED ......

UNTIL NEXT TIME

Team Jacob baby!!!!

2009-11-22T16:07:00.004-06:00

I have always been team Jacob. I guess I am a bad boy type a girl! LOL Edward loss points when he left Bella.....point blank!!!!!!!

So I went to see NEw Moon and it was AWESOME, not as good as the book in my opinion, but what movie really is.........

I don't want to give much away but JACOB WAS HOT HOT HOT HOT! In fact all of the wolf boys were pretty damn hot!!!!!!!!

So far I have seen the movie twice, that means wouldn't mind seeing it again. I cannot wait to see Jacob, I mean Eclipse in June. June 30, 2010 can't get here fast enough!!!!!! Took my niece and daughter to see it. They almost passed out when Jake took his shirt off!!!!! Me too!!!!! Lawd that kid has a body on him!!!!! I feel like a pedophile, but he is sexy as hell!!!!! Total eye candy! I just had to blog about it!!!!!! Do you know I still have not finished Breaking dawn, am i slow reader HELL TO THE NO!!!!!! I read Eclipse in a day! I just don't want it to end!!!!!!! silly but true....... Here is my favorite shot of Jacob below......Enjoy!!!!!

This and that

2009-11-18T23:02:00.002-06:00

I CANNOT BELIEVE THANKSGIVING IS NEXT WEEK!!!!!

It feels like I just took the kids trick or treating!
I love this time of year, I mean I really love, love, love this time of the year.
I don't know what it is but the Holidays make me so happy!!!!!

I will be putting up my tree 2 days before Thanksgiving! Jaree couldn't be more happy!

I am cooking a small dinner at home, chicken, dressing, baked macaroni and cheese, ham, candied yams, greens, peach cobbler, and sour cream pound cake and BAPTISTE IS MAKING THOSE STANKING ASS SHITLINGS!!!!! Yes, I said Shitlings, because that what they smell like! My kids, my mom and Baptiste love em! NOT ME BABY!!!!!!

I am kind of sad, because Jaree is the last child that I get to buy toys for!!!!! Jariel said he wants clothes and gym shoes and Bee of course want's money!!!!!! I miss buying toys for all of them!!!! I hate to see them getting old.

I have been trying to restrain myself from making the peach cobbler NOW. I HAVE BEEN CRAVING IT!!!!!!! I hope I can hold out!

I am so excited about going to the midnight showing of New Moon, I already have my tickets!!!!! Jaree, Baptiste and I are going!!!!! I cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!

I am so upset because why I am sitting here typing my blog, Lost Boys is on and I missed half of it! I love that movie!!!!!!!

Anyhoooooo, I am so excited. Stay tuned for my critique of NEW MOON!!!!! WITH NO SPOILERS!!!!

Boooooooo! I am sick

2009-11-12T13:51:00.003-06:00

I have a cold!

I hate being sick!

I keep coughing, my throat is dry, my nose is stuffy....ugh!

Even though I am sick I manage to keep the house clean....

When Baptiste has the sniffles he IS SHUT DOWN, now why is that?

Anywho! I am sooooo excited! Tonight Vampire Diaries and Supernatural comes on! I love those shows! Stephan and Damon....... Sam and Dean, hey both brothers have the same initials and both the bad boys have the initials D, Damon and Dean! What a coinkydink!

I have no painting or scrap mojo! I haven't scrapped in months.

Plan to change all that!

Once I get better I am going to hit up Archivers and Michaels.....

By then my mojo will return! Hopefully!

Jaree is so excited! Why? She gets to sleep with me tonight, because the hubs is working an overnight! Booooooooooo, to his overnight! He only works one a year! But, I hate it!

Wow, this dog on televison really looks like Goldie, my dog!! I know that was random, but I was looking at televison while I am typing. LOL

Switching gears for a moment, Kids today are NOTHING how we were growing up, my neighbor told this little boy to stop playing with her mailbox and he told her "shut up bitch", he had to be all of 10 years old. I was going to say something, but had he said that to me, I would have had to take my belt off. I am from the old school and I don't play that! I will fight a kid. LOL NO RESPECT!!!!! I fault the parents!!!!! My kids would never dream of cussing and adult out! Under any circumstances!!!!! Well, I'm off my soapbox.

Until next time!

Clearing the dust bunnies!

2009-11-02T12:36:00.004-06:00

Wow, it's almost been 2 months since my last blog.

I am such a bad blogger. Just kinda got hooked on twitter and fb!

But I still love my handy dandy blog, a lot has happened since my last blog post.

Let's see, Jariel turned 13,

I celebrated my 35 th birthday,

and we had a hauntedly happy halloween!!!!

And to top things off, this kid turned 17 today. Man time flies!!! I am getting old guys!!!

Now that fall is officially here and summer is long gone, I can get more time to blog!!!!

Just wanted to let you guys know I am alive and kicking.

I will leave you with a few more pics from Halloween!!!!

Is anybody there.....yooooohoooo!

2009-09-09T21:51:00.004-05:00

I think I win the award for Bad Blogger of the year....

Sometimes, life gets in the way...

Right?

I have been a busy bee around here....

So what have I been doing....

Went on vacation! Mall of America was a blast.....here are a few pics!!!!

I have been enjoying the hell out of summer.....

I have been getting the new house together......

I have been gardening.....YES GARDENING.....

i have been busy busy busy!

But, as summer comes to a close! I plan on blogging a lot more!!!!!!!!

Just a few random thoughts for 9/9/09

1. Why are cat's tongues so damn dry....Sugar licked me the other day and it felt like a brillo pad!

2. I have been craving tuna.

3. Why does Baptiste love to mess with me while I am on the computer??? I think he does it to aggravate me....

4. I want the new 64 gig ipod touch......think I may cave and get it!

5. Why do people make up rumors about celebrities dying. There was a huge rumor that Matt Damon was dead! Why?

6. Why do girls have to be so loud??? Do they think they are cute or something?

7. Why does Jaree come home after school and sleep 4 hours. What the hell are they doing to my kid ........

8. I want the new Macbook pro! Trying to convince Baptiste to get it! Don't think it will work, since my IMAC is only a year old! LOL

9. Why does Jariel have to scream so loud while playing video games......ugh!!!!! Drives me freaking nuts!!!!!!!

Welll that is all people....

Until next time....

I love this bitch!

2009-08-03T12:31:00.003-05:00

Last year, my dad (can you believe it) started watching this show called True Blood. He told me " Dana you gotta watch this!" I had heard all the hype about the show, but I didn't have HBO at the time! I sat down and watch the episode when the guys were talking about Lafayette, and he came out and said "Who ordered the burger WITH AIDS"? FROM THAT LINE .....i was hooked!!!!!!! I went and found every single episode that I missed online and ordered Hbo!!!!

Fast forward to NOW! I am so hooooooooooooooked on this show!

but I love Lafayette. THERE IS NO TRUE BLOOD WITHOUT LAFAYETTE!!!!!!!

I was THRILLED when I found out he survived! I even said I WOULD NOT watch True Blood if he was killed off!!! That is how much I love this show!!!

Yesterday's show was OFF THE CHAINS!

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THIS EPISODE AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.....DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!!!

Maryann: This BITCH IS WICKED!!!! But, I knew that from jump!!!! I am with Vee, it creeped the shit out of me when she walked in all bloody with that damned BUNNY RABBIT! WTF????

Sam: I thought he could only shift into a dog, he was so gat damned scared yesterday he shifted to an owl, that was sooooooo fucking cool!!!!

Daphane! Did that bitch think her COOCHIE was that good that Sam would sleep with her after she almost had him killed, but God don't like ugly, look what happened to her ass?

Tara: her voice is so funny to me!!!!!! and why can't they remember what the hell is going on?

Andy: This poor fat guy can't catch a damn break, well he did catch a break yesterday, right in the damn arm, but he cracks me up every time he yells PIG

Sookie: Did Sookie say "SHUT THE FUCK UP?" I am just sayin'

I knew something was fishy with that dude! Damned trader!!!!!!!!!!

Bill: He needs to get some super strength and whoop his MAKER'S ASS, i am about tired of that bitch!!!

Jason: Am I alone when I say, He is sexy as hell. and he whooped DUDE'S ARSE didn't he???

Sarah: Crazy BITCH ALERT!!! did she shoot Jason???????

Eggs: Did yall see him stab the shit out of Daphane! and Adrienne those eyes creep me out!! reminds me of the demons on Supernatural!!! Killer or no killer, HE IS ONE FINE SPECIMEN! Lawd!!!!!!!!

Hoyt and Maxine's relationship is so cute!!!!! Do you think they will go thru with 'DOING IT" LOL

Eric: he's starting to grow on me, He is sexy to me too!!!!!!!!! Why does he want Sookie so bad? Dude, get your own? LOL

Gabe: He's quite the HORNBALL!!!!!! Was he really going to rape Sookie? Wonder what Godric will do to him!!!

Last but not least

GODRIC!!!!!!!! He is soooooooooooooo damn sexy!!!!!!!! Can't wait to see what role he is going to play in this season!

The previews are so gooooood, can't wait for next Sunday!!!!!!

You know a show is good, when you devote a whole blog post to it.....

Until next time!!!!!!

Hello blog!

2009-07-31T00:32:00.002-05:00

Wow, its been a minute since I last blogged!

But, don't blame me! Blame Facebook and twitter!!! Oh and my kids, the dog, the cat, the turtles, the rain, blame it on the alcohol. Blame anyone but me! LOL

So what has been going on in my BUSY, HECTIC LIFE.....

Not much!

As most of you know I moved!

and I am so HAPPY!!! I absolutely love it my house!

I even planted flowers guys! yes me, I planted flowers!!!!

I have been shopping! Mostly for the kids!!!! They TAKE ALL MY MONEY, but if you are a mom you know what i mean!

I did get some scrapbook shopping in! I went on a binge just the other day at ARchivers! Wow! See my facebook page!!!

I have been scrapping!!!!!! Painting, beading!!!! Yes, beading!!!!! Even going to take a class!!! AS if I need more hobbies!!!! LOL

What else have I been doing?

Taking kids to work, football, and cheerleading practices!!!! Yes, it's that time of year!

What else?

I have been reading! Don't laugh! Still reading Breaking dawn!!!! Not because I am a slow reader. I DON'T WANT IT TO END!!!! I should have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at a slower pace!!!

What else???

I have been FAITHFULLY watching the 2nd season of True Blood and Omg!!!!!! I AM SO HOOKED, EVEN MORE THAN LAST TIME!!!!! So much so that I watch the same episodes over and over!!!!!! Guess what? I think that Tara's fine ass boyfriend is a WEREWOLF, why else would Sam bring it up? Why does he remember places he's never been? Maybe not in his HUMAN FORM? And the why does Eric want Lafayette to sell V? And what is going to become of Sookie now that they have kidnapped her? I am LOVING IT ALL!!!!!

Also been consumed by SYTYCD tooo!!!!!! Hoping Brandon wins!!!!!!!

So what else is there?

Not much that I can think of right now, but I hope to start blogging more often, now that summer is slowing down!!!!!!!!

Until next time!!!!!!

Ikea, Target, and randomness, oh my!

2009-07-02T05:44:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I went to IKEA with my mom. I was going to replace some things that had been broken in the move. It never fails. Something, always gets broken when you move. It's inevitable! If it's not broken it's lost! LOL Well in my case, a couple of my glass jars were broken, and 1 of storage boxes was lost. So I went to SIMPLY replace what I lost, since mom was going FOR A LAMP! Wellllllllll, that my were my INTENTIONS. Turns out I came out with more than I had to replace! LOL I didn't do so bad! I got a lamp for the boys, a lamp shade for Jaree, a rug for Jaree, a neat mirrored art piece, 3 jars, 2 medium, 1 large, 2 white storage boxes, an awesome magazine rack for the scrap studio, a hanging storage rack with cute containers that hang for the scrap studio, hangers, a cute metal holder for the scrap studio, some bowls, some glasses, 2 pots, and some other odds and ends. Spent way more than I intended, but NOT as bad as I thought!!!!!

Went into to TARGET with mom, she was looking for some pillow cushions, pillows, and A BUNCH OF OTHER CRAP.....sooooo, I stopped by the dollar spot and picked up some cute little canisters for the scrap studio and some bath towels! My mom will make you GO INTO DEBT, as she LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES to SHOP. The difference is, SHE HAS THE MONEY TO DO SO!!!!! LOL It's so funny, my mom will drive for weeks with stuff that is hidden in her car from my dad!!!!!! What's even funnier, is I do the same thing! LOL

Had a great day with mom, we had lunch at the Golden Corral after our shopping excursions! LOL Then I came home and CRASHED. I was tired!!!!!!

Switching lanes for a minute....

Why do people act like it a REVELATION when the do WRONG! What is the shocked look about, you know what the FUCK YOU DID!!!! That just pisses me off!

and why do people get mad at you for NO REASON AT ALL, simply because you are mad at them FOR GOOD REASON!

Why do people come into a NASTY ASS BATHROOM in Golden Corral AND LET THEIR TODDLER WALK around BAREFOOT! Just TRIFILING!!!!!!!

Why do people JUST LET THEIR KIDS cry and ACT AN ASS, AND HAVE TANTRUMS, in IKEA, while other people are trying to shop in peace. I wanted to just smack the SHIT out of the PARENTS, get your kids in check, they shouldn't be able to act like that in public!!!!!

Why do women wear WIFE BEATERS (tank tops for all those who may take that LITERAL...LOL) that are low cut on the sides with no bra, NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR SAGGY ASS BOOBS!!!!!!!!

Why do kids do shit THEY know they will get them in trouble, then TRY to justify why you shouldn't get in their ass....DON'T YOU KNOW ME BY NOW, don't play with me!!!!!

Why is my 16 YEAR OLD SON, FRUSTRATED all the damn time. He doesn't have any fucking responsibilities, he doesn't have to pay any bills, no rent, he doesn't even pay his phone bill, you are totally taken care of, you get every damn thing you want for the most part, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO BE FRUSTRATED ABOUT? That's his favorite WORD!!!! He's frustrated because he's not GROWN, and can't go and do all the things he wants to do. SORRY KID THATS CALLED PARENTING!!!!!

Why are men MOODY, I swear they have a period too!!!!! IT JUST IRKS ME!!!!

And why the hell am I up at 5am typing this crap....

Time to go back to bed!!!

Until next time.......

Summer is in full swing .....

2009-06-30T01:30:00.000-05:00

Dance Dance Revolution!

Walks in the park!!!!!

Tired.....

Bored!!!!!!!! Hey he has no choice but to spend time with family! LOL

They love each other like sisters, not cousins!!!!!

Can you tell????????

Woooo! I was scared that thing is so high up!

Jaree wasn't scared, she made it all the way to the top!
Carnivals are always fun!!!!!! Face paintings, fun balloons.....

You get to play on the fire truck!!!!!!

Even dress up like a fireman!!!!! LMAO!!! Jariel is such a good sport! LOL

By the end of the day she had 3 of these two on her face and one on her arm! NO kidding! LOL

Pony Rides!!!!!!

Swimming, even with the pooches!!!!

Cannon Balls in the lake!

Idk? LOL

Leaping into the warm lake water are allllllllll signs of Summer!!!!!
I love Summer!!!!
I love the kids being at home (most of the time that is...LOL)
I love the non-stop visits to the park, the zoo, the museums, the water parks, amusement parks, fishing, nature walks, water balloon fights, bean bag tournaments....we put it DOWN FOR THE SUMMER.

I guess I have to my kids GET SO BORED so easy! LOL

The kids love to swim and not just in the community pool, but MY MOM'S LAKE. ewwwww! I did it to growing up, but couldn't fathom getting in this day in age.....No sirrreeee bob!!!!!! LOL

I have been running like a chicken with it's head cut off since the move. Really not much time to do much, but I make it MY BUSINESS, to do things with my children! NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!

That is a priority!!!!!

I also MAKE TIME FOR SOME ADULT TIME TOO!!!!!!
I love going out with my cousins and my girls!!!!!

I look forward to more SUMMER FUN!!!!!!!
We always let our children pick 10 places they would like to go over the Summer. We do all 10.

This year:
White water rafting!!!!!
Camping!
Brookfield zoo
Shedd Aquarium Oceanarium
Cedar Point Amusement Park, in Cedar Point Ohio!
Starved Rock
Blackduck, Minnesota to do the ultimate 4 wheel riding with family!!!!
Navy Pier Seadog speed boat ride!
Deep River Water Park
Indiana Dunes
Fun time Square!!!!!!

Should be a blast!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for pics of our Summer Journey's!!!!!!!

Until next time!!!!!

I am just sick....

2009-06-26T10:25:00.002-05:00

As a child I was raised on MOTOWN music....
but I was in love with the JACKSON 5....
There was one in the group that stuck out....
and that WAS MICHAEL JACKSON......

When I was a small child it was a innocent love, like loving Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny...

but when Off the Wall came out! and I saw the Rock with you Video! That is when I first thought.....DAMN HE FINE!!!!!

I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON MICHAEL JACKSON!!!!!!!!
I thought he was so FINE IN THRILLER AND BILLIE JEAN! OMG!!!!!

Do you remember BUTTONS? I think i had over 300 Michael Jackson buttons. His posters were plastered all over my bedroom walls and ceilings...

My diary consisted of: Dear Diary, when I am older I want to marry Michael Jackson, .....LOL

Seriously....
I had the Beat it Jacket, the red jacket with all the black zippers, I put penny's my penny loffers, don't think I spelled that right, but any hoo....I had the glittered glove.

And when Thriller came out! I learned every single move to that video. I remember recording it and rewinding it over and over to get the dance steps just right!

My brother was in a talent show and he played one of the Zombies and I remember practicing with him and being so proud of my brother....

I started having crushes on any boy that looked similiar to Michael, nice baby hair, gerry curl, killer smile!!!!! OmgI I will remember his BEAUTIFUL SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you remember the Jackson's 5 cartoon!!!!! I used to watch that allllllll the time!!!!!

I remember watching the Motown Reunion show, when Michael did Billie Jean and danced with his brothers......

When he threw off that hat and did the moon walk, I about DIED!!!!!!!! I WAS HOARSE THE NEXT DAY FROM SCREAMING!!!!!

MOST PEOPLE love Thriller or Beat it or Billie Jean, but my favorite song, is OFF THE WALL......I Don't know what it is about that song, but it get's inside my soul! Ask my family, let that song come on, I am going to act a SUPREME FOOL! YOU BETTA GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!! Because I will start jumping up and down, and it's not even a conscious movement. That song completely takes me over. I love it! One of his greatest songs in my opinion!

Say what you want about Mike....
I will never remember Michael for all the scandals that surrounded his life,

I will remember him FOR THE GREAT MUSICIAN he was....

He was talented BEYOND WORDS....
I don't think the world was ready for MICHAEL JACKSON...
His musical genius is BEYOND our time....

I know that he is entertaining everyone in HEAVEN....
They are rocking and singing and dancing and having a good time up there.....

Michael Jackson will never be gone.....

His music will live on for an ETERNITY.....
Sleep on Michael....
You will be missed,

BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Helllo blog! My name is Dana, do you remember me?

2009-06-25T11:19:00.002-05:00

I have an addiction! I have a couple of addictions, and their names are TWITTER AND FACEBOOK!

I swear ever since I found those two, I have neglected you, MY BELOVED BLOG! I am sorry! I will never forsake you again!

Ok, now that the melodrama is done.....

I have been a busy little bee!

Trying to get this house unpacked!

Keeping the kids busy SO THEY DON'T GET BORED! And kids can get bored easy at least my kids can!!!! They like to GO, GO, GO, GO, ALL THE TIME!!!!!

I am happy that they all have activities to keep them busy for most of the summer! Jaree signed up for a Summer Reading Program at the Library and they have all types of fun activiites for the kids! One of the things I love is the TEEN TWILIGHT PROM! Where the kids get to dress up like their favorite characters from Twilight and mingle and socialize, then they get to watch the movie! They have Lock-ins, arts and crafts, video games, movies on the lawn, and other fun stuff!!!! Jaree loves it!!!!!!!

Jariel starts Football camp soon!!!!!! He loves football and we decided to let the basketball go for awhile (it almost killed Baptiste, LOL) and try football! LOL He starts camp in July! He is so excited!!!!!!

Bee is in Drivers Ed for the summer, he just got his permit so you know what we have been doing! Letting him drive! He needs 90 hours of driving outside of school. He drives well!!!! I can't complain, but not looking forward to what comes next. Mom "Can I borrow your car". He will get his own car THANKS TO MY PARENTS, once he graduates high school!!!!! Which is summer of next year! He wants an Impala. Wonder how long that will last once he figures out how much it will cost to insure it! LOL

Jaree will start Cheerleading at the same time Jariel starts football!! She is super duper excited!!!!!! And I am too! I was a cheerleader from 1st grade until 8th and switched teams in high school and was on POMS!!!!!! So I love that she is following in mommy's foot steps! LOL

I believe in keeping children busy! If they are busy, there's no time to get into trouble.

Ever heard of "AN IDLE MIND, IS A DEVILS WORKSHOP".....

my philosophy!

I try to keep my children in some type of activity, so that they will have SOMETHING TO DO!!!!!

I was a busy child as well! Cheerleading, gymnastics, ballet, tap, jazz, karate, day camp, MY MOM KEPT ME BUSY!!!!!!!

I try to keep an agenda of things to do with the kids!

Even when we are at home, I find things that they can do! Like family reading night, family game night, family movie night, Cook for your parents night, we have water balloon fights, load up the super soakers and have water fights, craft night ( usually just me and Jaree), but we do a lot as a family! and I love that!!!!!!!!!!!!

My kids are getting older now and they whine more about the family stuff, especially the 16 year old, but we atleast have to do one family thing a week!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT PLANS YOU HAVE, their is NO NEGOTIATING! LOL

OK, OFF MY SOAP BOX,

I HAVE NOT SCRAPPED IN A MONTH GUYS!!! I am having withdrawls!!!!

Can't wait to get everything set up so that I can get back to my crafting!

I also want to start some new things thanks TO MY BLOGGER FRIENDS, ADRIENNE, PATRICE, TONI, AND ERICA!!!!!!!!! I am going to try to SEW! Baptiste and I have been looking at sewing machines at Joann's and I am just going to go for it!!!! I have a crazy body type and its hard finding clothes that fit me just right! So this is another reason for wanting to learn to sew. Plus, my grandmother was the best seamstress in the city of Chicago!!!! I used to help her thread her bobbin, and play on her sewing machine all the time!

I also want to learn to knit and bead! As if I need any more hobbies!!! But I do!!!!! Especially sewing and beading!!!!!!

I said this before, but you have to have PEACE OF MIND, to learn and I didn't have that in CCHills!!!! Now that I have moved on......I think it will be easy!

Wish me luck!

This has become much longer than I planned, so I think I will end it with an...

UNTIL NEXT TIME......

A couple of good men

2009-06-21T15:16:00.005-05:00

There are GOOD MEN OUT THERE......

these two are an example of GOOD MEN....

MY daddy is a very good example of a good father. My dad spoiled us kids rotten. But was stern and strict. I used to hate that, but now I am grateful. Being a parent, I appreciate my up bringing. PAPA DIDN'T TAKE NO MESS! He demanded his respect and didn't settle for anything else. We knew we couldn't pull it with DADDY! He still don't play! LOL

He spoils his grandkids rotten, but will get on them too, if need be! LOL
I love my dad. I am a daddy's girl at heart! I can get anything from my daddy. Mommy knows that too! I love being the baby girl and I thank God for my dad!!!!!!!!!

Baptiste is such a wonderful FATHER, HUSBAND, PROVIDER, a God fearing good man...
and he is such a doting father...

He works like a Hebrew slave and still manages to take time with the kids!
He even counts me out sometimes and will just take the kids and go!
I love watching him interact with our children...

They love him sooooo much and his love for them just exudes from every orifice of his being!
I am so blessed and so are my children!
It's amazing to me how great a father he is, being that his father died when he was only 8 months old. He never had a father figure in his life.

We were only 18 years old when my oldest child was born and he NEVER once ran from his RESPONISIBLITIES as a father. He was with me 250% of the way! Whew, I am getting emotional talking about it. I love this man with my WHOLE HEART and I THANK GOD FOR HIM!!!!
I am blessed to have these two wonderful men in my life and I thank God for them both!
Happy Father's day daddy and Baptiste!!!!!!!!

I am drowning in BOXES

2009-06-21T01:00:00.002-05:00

........moving is NOT FUN!
omg! I am so tired of UNPACKING, I want to scream!
But, I won't complain, because I LOVE MY NEW HOUSE.

Can't wait to get it all done, so I can share my HUMBLE ABODE with you guys!!!!!!!!!
I have beeen out of the old house since May 3oth, stayed with my mom do for 2 1/2 weeks while the new house was being worked on....I love my PARENTS, but I DO NOT EVER, EVER, NEVER want to live with them AGAIN IN LIFE! LOL

I LOVE VISITING, but not LIVING! and that's all I am going to say about that!

You guy don't know the BIG BURDEN that has been lifted from my SHOULDERS.

I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I CAN BREATHE. I CAN RELAX. I CAN LET MY HAIR DOWN.
I don't have to look over my shoulder or worry about my kids when they walk around!
PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANK YA JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel so BLESSED! I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I was ABLE to get my children out of that HELL HOLE!!!!!!
I feel emancipated!
Free!
happy!
overjoyed!

I am almost in tears thinking about it!

I thank BAPTISTE, because he is THE REASON for this SEASON!!!! LOL
I THANK GOD, that he blessed him with A VERY GOOD JOB, that afforded us to be able to MOVE ON, and we took a great loss with this move, BUT I AM NOT GOING TO DWELL ON THAT!!!!!!

God delivered us .......
and I am ELATED!!!!!!!

STAY TUNED FOR PICS OF THE NEW HOUSE.......

UNTIL NEXT TIME.....

Knocked the wind out of me

2009-06-06T13:20:00.003-05:00

On Thursday, Jaree had another seizure.
She's had many in her little short life of 10 years, but it's something that you CAN NEVER GET USED TOO.

I feel so helpless.
It's nothing I can do to PHYSICALLY make her better! As a mom, THAT'S A DEVASTATING FEELING. I cannot begin to describle it.

I hurt for her!
I wished I could take on all that pain, but I can't.

After being in the Er for 24 hours, I found out my baby has SWINE FLU!

That was a DOUBLE WHAMMY. It big BLOW TO ME, because I try SO HARD to do ALL THAT I CAN TO KEEP HER WELL.

She has an atypical form of epilepsy, in which most her seizures are FEBRILE, however she is too OLD TO BE HAVING FEBRILE SEIZURES. They stop at the age of 5 or 6.

She was UNCONSCIOUS for 24 hours, but not COMATOSE. That is a good thing. The brain takes a big beating when you seize, so SLEEP is how the brain recovers.

She cannot see the neurologist until next week, because of the flu.

She will have to have YET ANOTHER mri, eeg, and ekg!
I am just at a loss.

But this GIRL IS SO STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is SUCH A FIGHTER, THAT she just amazes me.

She has been thru so much in her short life that it makes me ANGRY....
BUT WHO AM I TO QUESTION GOD??????

He doesn't make any mistakes?
I guess this is a storm that I have to weather.

Please continue to pray for my baby....
I love her Beyond any words!!!!!
But, any one reading this who is a mother, knows what I mean.

I will try to keep you updated as best I can!
She is being SPOILED BEYOND WORDS, FROM EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!

i HAVE MADE FIVE BILLION PROMISES TO HER, that I WILL KEEP, ONCE SHE GETS BETTER....

build a bear
a new game for nintendo ds
a nintendo dsi
a trip to claires and kohls for jewelry
land of the lost
and the zoo!

and those are just my promises......
Her dad has a list longer than the CONSTITUTION, but you know whaT? She deserves every bit of it.

I got her report card and my baby got all A's and one B! And she won yet another award for her reading. The mile high reading award. She reads at such a high level! I am so proud!!!!!

I have to go and take care of my baby, but I just wanted to let my blog readers know what was going on....

Until next time!

Hello world! Its me Dana! Remember me?

2009-06-03T09:16:00.002-05:00

Wow,

It's been a minute!

I have so much to talk about! A lot of catching up to do!

Well, I sold my HOUSE! YAY!

I AM SO GLAD FOR THIS DRAMA TO FINALLY BE OVER!

I did lose out on some money, but you know what? My piece OF MIND! Is PRICELESS!

I AM THANKFUL TO GOD! That we had the means to make this move! Being that Baptiste is the only one working. I thank God, that I have a husband who has a GREAT JOB, and not only that he has the drive to go above and beyond. He makes GREAT money on the side as a dj as well!

Now with saying all that! We are going to be BROKE FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

We had to dig into our NEST EGG, to make this happen. And we ARE BOTH determined to build that back first! DID WE DEPLETE IT? no! But I am all for STABILITY and when I was working we BANKED MY INCOME and lived out of his. I made GOOD MONEY! Before I quit, to care for Jaree. I also do things on the side (nothing illegal) to make extra cash! So I do my part! I am just a firm believer in SAVING FOR A RAINY DAY, and we have had our fair SHAIR OF STORMY WEATHER.

OFF THAT!

THE NEW HOUSE is a Huge Ranch style house, I will miss being able to send my kids downstairs when they get on my nerves! But I can send them outside and not worry about anybody trying to JUMP THEM! My kids are not the type to set there and let anyone pound the SHIT OUT OF THEM, they are BLESSED WITH THEIR HANDS, lol, but people don't FIGHT FAIR anymore and my kids DON'T GO AROUND STARTING SHIT! I raised them that way! They mind their own business and treat others the way they want to be treated, but THEY WILL DEFEND THEMSELVES! And people around there knew that and that is why they like to JUMP!

BUT THAT CHAPTER IS OVER! GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH SOMETHING SO MUCH BETTER!

I cannot wait to move in. The house has to pass a VILLAGE INSPECTION, before we move in, so I am hoping in the next couple of weeks!

I will keep you all updated!

I am so happy for this NIGHTMARE to be over!

Thanks for all you well wishes and concerns!

Until next time...........

Still hanging in there

2009-05-28T10:44:00.004-05:00

Just wanted to give everyon a quick update.

I am doing FINE!
We did INDEED find a buyer!
We did lose some! But you know what I AM not going to DWELL ON THAT!
We did find a new home in Lynwood, where my mom lives.

Much better area, great schools! Everything we want!
We had to come out of lots of money to make it work, but hey that 's water under the bridge.

We are still living good. and doing the same things, just need to build back our savings!
I am my mother's child and I BELIEVE in having a NEST EGG!

I am no fool!
So that is my FIRST PRIORTIY!
rEBUILDING!

i AM COMPLETELY OUT OF THE NEW HOUSE!

we CLOSE ON THE 3RD!

CAN'T WAIT!

wILL BE GIVING YOU AN UPDATE SOON!

Until next time!

Still here!

2009-05-06T23:21:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to let my blog readers know I am still here.

So much craziness is going on....

But I know there is sunlight at the end of the tunnel.

I am still hoping this sell goes thru!

I cannot wait to move!

I am ready!

I will be blogging again soon.

Until next time

Two days in a row...

2009-04-28T11:11:00.002-05:00

HOT DAMN!

YOUR GIRL IS BACK!!!!!

I have blogged two days in a row!!!! It's going to cloud up and shit, as my mom would say...

Well, i am feeling much better!

I have VOWED, to let ANYONE or ANYTHING, get in the way of my happiness!

That is OVER WITH......

Nothing is going to STOP MY SHINE....

YA FEEL ME!

Well, today, I was very productive, got up at a quarter to six, finished all my laundry, cleaned my room, shampooed the carpets, and cleaned the blinds...... I would call that productive.

Now I am chilling, cruising the web: twitter, facebook, checking out all my favorite blogs on google reader....you know living the GOOD LIFE! HEHEHE!

Today, Baptiste and I our going to my favorite spot: BORDERS!!!!!

I love that store. I got some reading to do, he has some studying, could have gone to the Library, but me likey Borders much more. Looking for the Latest copies of Artful Blogging and Somersett Memories!!!! My two favorite magazines!!!!!! I love going on little dates with my husband! In fact, I love being with my hubby period. Most of the time, that is. There are those times when I would pack and ship his ass right back to his MAMA......LOL

I plan to be back home in time for Idol, I don't know why I watch since they got rid of my girl Lil Rounds, but I am not mad at 'em, she just wasn't singing the right SONG! Damn girl!

I wonder who is going home on DWTS, it better not be LIL KIM, that is all I know!!!!!!!!

I did get a chance to see Obsessed. It was Good! Just thought Beyonce could have been a wee bit more convincing!!!!

I already saw Wolverine!!!! It was the SHIT!!!!! HUGH JACKMAN is TOTAL EYE CANDY, even with Thundercat hair and freddy fingers......LOL

Well, I hope all of you are doing well! I am! Better than I thought I would be..

Thanks for all your prayers and words of encouragement!!!! It means the world to me and Adrienne and Bonnie, I did not forget you guys. I am going by the post office today!!!

Until next time....

Happy Monday!

2009-04-27T10:12:00.003-05:00

Warning, this post is all over the place. Because my mind is all over the place!

First off, I had a blast Saturday! My sister Tracy and I gave my mom a 65th birthday celebration and it TURNED OUT GREAT!!! But, I am TIRED AS HELL. My mom is a SLAVE DRIVER. I got my DRANK ON. At one point, my dad was looking at me CROSSED EYED, or maybe I was so tipsy, I was cross eyed, but any hoo, you get the point. I was FUGGED UP! LOL

Of course Baptiste was the dj, and man I got my dance on!!!!!!

All the kids love me, because I can do every single thing they do! They are so amazed. Look kids 34 AIN'T OLD. I can still drop it like it's hot! Shit, how you think you GOT HERE. Do you think mama was dropping it like it was COLD....LOL

OK, yes, I am in a silly mood! It happens once I snap out my depression!

That's another thing, I have vowed NOT TO LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING get me down. I have this FUCK IT attitude. I just have to let shit go, because life is TOO DAMN SHORT FOR BULLSHIT!

Ok, moving right along:

I have a potential buyer for the house! But they are getting a VA loan, and the gov't does SHIT ON THEIR own time!!!! I hope to be out of here by JUNE 1ST! We have a wonderful realtor, we love you CArla, and she got my house appraised for way more than what we thought, the girl is a miracle worker. ATLEAST, we are not upside down, and have some equity in the house, we were considering just renting it out, but I don't want to pay these ridiculously high taxes over here.

As for us, WE HAVE FOUND NOTHING, well nothing in Stone, we are looking!!!!! I am definitely going to take my time and find the RIGHT HOUSE in A NICE NEIGHBORHOOD, with a good SCHOOL. I didn't consider any of those things when I bought this house. I was just so happy to OWN A HOME, my mistake, I HAVE LEARNED FROM IT, moving forward......

It has been NOTHING BUT crazy weather in Chicago....HOT, COLD, HOT, COLD....COLD, HOT,COLD, HOT, the weather is BIPOLAR in the midwest!!!! LOL

Switching lanes here, I was watching the view, really listening, and I hate DISCUSSING RELIGION, I really do. Some people are really combative about their beliefs, so STEER clear from those types of conversations. I am a CHRISTIAN, I don't apologize for it, I believe in GOD, and that is that......END OF DISCUSSION!

In other news, I have not scrapbooked, but when I was on a roll I completed so many projects, that I did not share!!! I have so much on my TO DO LIST, it's not even funny!!!!!

My scrapbook supplies, is the LAST thing I pack. Like the day I move pack, because it travels with me! It's the computer, the flat screen, the pets, and my scrapbook supplies! LOL

I have been clearing my expedit off and boxing stuff up, but they are not sealed, and I can go in it and get whatever I want out of it. I need to go by the post office and start getting some priority boxes. I put my paper in those!

I am so behind in my reading....

I am behind in laundry....

I am behind in my tv programs....

Ugh, I have to get it together yall!!!!

I have been having so many pity parties, until I have not had much chance for anything else.

I have cried an OCEAN, but I am good now.....

It's over with, now it's time to pick myself up and keep it moving...

It is hard, when you know you made THE WORST MISTAKE of your life, I just thank God, I don't have anybody saying I TOLD YA SO!!!!! I beat myself up enough!!!!! I knew this neighbor hood was questionable when I moved in......YES I DID! I just thought if I kept to myself, and kept my children busy, we would BE OKAY. And we were, at FIRST, but it's not like that now. Knowing that I made a mistake, that put my children at RISK, is heartbreaking for me. But you know what, I am rectifying it now! I just wanted MY OWN! I was TIRED OF RENTING. I wanted something that was DANA'S AND BAPTISTE'S! ANY WAY....

We will be buying again, thank God, it's a buyer's market! But, we will take our time and research, before buying. We have our eye on a 3 houses in particular, put us in a higher mortgage, but hey gotta do what you gotta do! It's not going to kill us, we live GOOD. Thank God for that! We hope to be in our home by August, before the kids go back to school. Depending on how quickly we get everything from this house!

I plan on getting my RELAX ON, after I get my clean on!!!!! Now that I got mom out of the way, things are some what back to normal. I got so much to do. So little time......Story of my life!!!!

Well, this post is getting extra long, and extra RANDOM......

so until next time!!!!!

It's Friday Baby.....

2009-04-24T08:10:00.001-05:00

My kids asked me where did FLAVOR FLAV come from? I just laughed, because they only know him from Flavor of Love, but they don't know the history. So you know I had to school them right! I told him that Flavor Flav was the hype man for Public Enemy, and he used to wear a huge clock on his neck, that is why he gave clocks on his show........

They didn't even know who Chuck D was!!!! LOL

It was hilarious....

I told them don't believe the hype......
Flavor Flav been around for a long time and he is old enough to be my daddy......LOL

Happy Friday!!!!!
Be safe
Have fun!

It's been a looooong time! Warning (PICTURE HEAVY)

2009-04-23T08:51:00.018-05:00

Can you believe it!!!!! My baby is 10 years old. She was born Sunday April 18, 1999 at 2:56 pm. That seems like yesterday, but she is just 1/2 inch shorter than me, and the height and weight I was as a sophmore in high school. This girl is SOLID. Not fat! Stacked. I don't know what to do! LOL

And yes I am crying. We had her party at the Lynwood Roller Rink, where ROLL BOUNCE was filmed. She had a ball. Can you tell?

The last hour of the party they let them dance on the floor and that's her doing the stanky leg! LOL
'

I don't know what Baptiste caught Raven (Jaree's godmother) doing but he caught her...LOL

Jaree is a mess, she SNAKED Li-Li with the frosting!

But they still love each other

Can you tell???

I don't know what that hound dog was saying, but he was being a little hound doggish! Dude, she's 10, back the hell up!!!

That's my baby!

I think this is why he was following her around!!!! Hmmmmm, I may have to put him to sleep. LOL

this girl is a mess, she slowed down on her skates so I could get a picture.

The whole crew!

Doesn't Jaree look my dad!

I told this girl skates and acrylic nails can be dangerous, but she didn't listen! She didn't crack one nail, maybe her butt, but not her NAILS! LOL I took tons more pictures, but I didn't want blogger to shut down. You can check out the rest on my facebook!

I took these pictures Easter, we didn't dress up this year or go to CHURCH, I know, first time for EVERYTHING, but I have been going through a lot lately and I did not feel like it. I don't think the kids were up for it either, but we still went by mom's and had dinner.

My baby is growing up!

This boy has his own style! I love that about him. Both my boys do! I love that they have different personalities. Jariel IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOL and Laid back!!!

and yes he decided to get a mohawk!!!

Yep, that's Jari!!! My precious baby boy, Now why would anybody want to hurt him. He is the most loving child in the world! My gentle giant. He is only 12, but looks a good 15! He is as tall as his brother. I love this kid! LOL

And then you have Mr. B!!!!! He is my COMEDIAN, he keeps you laughing. He is FLASHY!!!! He has a gazillion pairs of gym shoes, his shoes have to match every single outfit (Thank God he has a job). He has a lot of baseball caps, jewelry, flashy belts. He reminds me so much of my brother Marcus and my uncle Bud!!!!! He can iron his butt off, his creases in pants are still in there when he washes his pants!!! His nickname from his friends is Mr. Neat-Neat! Yes, that describes him well.

My children and their friends are very talented. I took these pictures for their MIXTAPE, they rap and sing and they are GOOD. I AM NOT SAYING that, just because they belong to me, because I can BE CRITICAL, but they are talented.

Here we have the ladies of P1K

Look at Jaree and my niece Keyah, second from the left! they are a mess!

Had to explain to my daddy that this was just ARTISTIC EXPRESSION! LOL

The whole crew!

MY FAVORITE SHOT OF ALL!!!!! Their mixtape is coming out June 1st! Be on the look out for P1K!!!!!

THAT'S ALL GUYS!!!

I got tons more to share so stay tuned!!!!!!

Wooooosah!

2009-04-14T15:00:00.003-05:00

I am still here....

Going thru tons of stress, and then tons more...
My son Jariel was attacked on Saturday, April 4th, by a bunch of PUNK ASS jealous children! He was hit in the back, but NOT SERIOUSLY injured. I am LIVID. It made me rethink this whole DAMN house situation. I really have not been happy in my home for the last 6 months, new IGNORANT ass people moved in and I know people are not supposed to run you away, but my kids LIFE and MY PIECE A MIND is worth more than ANY DAMN HOUSE. I have decided to put the house on the market and start over, yes my house is not as worth as much as what I paid, but at this point, I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN!!!!!!

Everyday, it's BULLSHIT! I can't live like that! I need to know if my child is walking down the DAMN street, he isn't going to be ambushed by some STUPID ass kids!

I am so mad! I am so hurt! and far more angry, but I know God has something BETTER FOR ME. This is not for me. but, I kinda knew the area wasn't the greatest, when I moved there, but the house WAS A STEAL! We lived here for almost 2 years problem free, because we mind our own damn business! But I guess that wasn't enough.

I am really hurt by all this and far more angry.

Please continue to pray for me and my family, through these troubling time...
Please!!!!

Two days in a row....

2009-03-31T07:41:00.002-05:00

I am on a roll.

I got Blog fevah!!!!!!!

I have been doing so much that I got sidetracked, but I have learned to BALANCE, I think? LOL

Am I the only one who is hooked on FACEBOOK AND TWITTER!
OMG! As if I need any more Vices!!! LOL

I have found so many of my HIGH SCHOOL BUDDIES and even GRAMMAR SCHOOL BUDDIES on Facebook! I couldn't be more thrilled. In fact, I am in the works of planning a get together with my Cassell and Mt. Greeenwood buddies from Grammar School. I went to Cassell in the 2nd grade, it was the first time I was in a integrated school. I was so scared! I had NEVER SEEN THAT MANY WHITE PEOPLE in my life!!!!! And I didn't know what to expect. I was only 6 1/2 years old. I had to go to this school, because I was not being challenged enough at my old school as I was RIDICIOUSLY smart! Like GENIUS smart. So they placed me at this school for Gifted students. Off the bat, I made so many friends. They took me in, and at that moment I didn't SEE BLACK OR WHITE, I saw my FRIENDS! 10 of us, REMAINED close friends to this day, and the rest of us fell off. We were FAMILY, I can remember my good friend Denise (our sons our best friends, Bee and Nic) lived right behind the school, and on recess we would sneak to the GATE, and her dad would give us juice and cookies!!!!! I can remember when my friend Patsy's mom died of EPILEPSY and the ENTIRE 3rd grade, walked to St. Christina Church (my first time in a Catholic church) and we sang a song, recited a poem, and the family was so pleased with how well behaved we were. Of course we were, Mrs. McKnight didn't play! She used to be RUTHLESS with that Ruler!!!!! I never fell VICTIM of the ruler whacking!!!! NO NO, not me!!!!! LOL Cassell only had one or two rooms for each grade, by the time we were in 4th, there was only one room per grade, so we were together until we graduated out of 6th grade. In fact, we had Ms. McKnight for 2nd and 3rd grade and Mrs. Maebane for 5th and 6th.

Now I can remember all my teachers, my Kindergarten teacher was Ms. Crowley, 1st Mr. Harris, 2nd Ms Perry (she pulled my hair and my grandmother came up to school and knocked her out, yep I remember that) I transferred and that's when I had Ms. McKnight for 2nd and 3rd, then 4th grade Ms. Hines (she slipped on a crayon, that I threw at somebody in the class, and slipped a disk in her back, I felt horrible, but that didn't stop me from laughing hysterically!) and for 5th and 6th I had Ms. Maebane. Now I am going to stop there......

You nevet knoe how A TEACHER can have such a STRONG IMPACT on your life and I had two teachers in my life that LITERALLY saved my life! The first was my 2nd and 3rd grade teacher Ms. Mc Knight. When I got to Cassell, I felt like a fish out of water! I mean it was only a handful of kids that looked like me in the class. I was a gorgeous little girl! Pretty eyes, long THICK HAIR, and full pretty lips! It was in 3rd grade where I started to suffer an IDENTITY CRISIS, I wanted a perm, (my mom wasn't having it), because my curly hair, didn't fit in with the long and straight flowing hair, that I was seeing ......My mom only would press my hair on SPECIAL OCCASSIONS, but I wanted the world to KNOW how LONG MY HAIR REALLY WAS..... I mean my little short curly pigtails, were not CUTTING IT! I wanted my hair to blow in the wind like my friends! One day, I went in the corner and I started to cry, and Ms. McKnight found me before any of my classmates NOTICED, and she seemed puzzled as to why, I was crying. I was a FIESTY little kid, so she knew I was not being PICKED ON, and so she asked was I ok, I told her I was ok, and she said "Awwww, I know.... and I looked at her.... She said you don't like what you see when you look in the mirror! I said...what do you mean..... She said Ms. Payne, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! You have the most beautiful smile, like an angel, it lights up the room! You have the prettiest CURLY HAIR, just like I didi when I was your age, she said my hair has been relaxed, and now it's straight and thin, but your HAIR is gorgeous! You have pretty brown smooth skin! and she did this all while having me look in her small mirror she kept in her desk! At that moment, I started to believe that I was OK, JUST THE WAY I WAS......

Fast forward to 5th and 6th grade, I met the MOST INFLUENTIAL teacher I had....
and she wa a TOUCH COOKIE...

Miss Maebane. My first impression of Miss Maebane was that she WAS MEAN!
She would yell, she would slam things down, she even hit Phillip Ford with some scissors, and I was kind of COCKY at this age, and I was saying in my mind "I wish she WOULD, try to pull that SHIT with me". Me and Mrs. Maebane never had a run in. I did what I was supposed to do and she NEVER HAD TO PULL IT WITH ME. Well I had always been smart, but in 5th grade it's not COOL to have your HEAD in the books all the time, it wasn't cool that I would rather skip recess and stay insided and help the teacher grade papers, and fix the bulletin board. I quickly was called a NERD OR TEACHER'S PET or SOMETHING MUCH WORSE a "ASS KISSER". I was in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM THE LATTER. I didn't mind being called a nerd or teacher's pet as much , but ME A BROWN NOSER, I don't think so. So I began to change, my grades were slipping, I was getting into trouble, and I was FAR MORE rebellious! I was getting into fights all the time and I WASN'T LOSING, so it made me APPEAR to be a BULLY! The only thing that saved me from getting in trouble was MY GRADES!

One day, I was in the bathroom! And Ms. Maebane came in and made everybody LEAVE..
This was an UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION for me, so I gave her this look like...
I wish you would PULL IT....

and that's when I was on the floor....
I don't know what happened, but I was on my butt!
Mrs. Maebane was crouched over me and said is this what you want, to be down here with the dirt? And I was squirming using all my might to get up, but she wasn't BUDGING! LOL
And this is what she said that woke me up "you will reside in DIRT permantly if you DO NOT GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, you cannot WHOOP THE WORLD, you willl MEET YOUR MATCH one of these days and it MIGHT NOT END PRETTY" You need to stop. You are NOT A DUMMY, THIS IS NOT who YOU ARE!!! You are too SMART FOR THIS SHIT" and yes she said SHIT. Everytime you act up for the remainder of the year, you will be right where you are now, on your butt , because I will find you and put you there. You will bring your grades up, you will get your self together and you will stop acting like a DAMN FOOL. She lifted me off my feet with the FORCE OF WONDER WOMAN, so much so I almost flew into the wall. This WOMAN PUT FEAR INTO MY HEART, the only PEOPLE IN MY LIFE, that EVER PUT FEAR, was my GRANNY AND MY MOM! I was scared! I stopped FIGHTING, I brought my grades up, and I was at the top of my class. This woman believed in me, MORE THAN I BELIEVED IN MYSELF, she didn't give p on me, She was DETERMINED that I made something of myself, and I thank her for it...

What if she didn't stop me? What if she wouldn't have said anything? I am not going to Lie, I was A BEAST! LOL I never PICKED FIGHTS, but I sure FINISHED IT UP! I HAVE 4 brothers, I wasn't NO JOKE!!! LOL I fought boys, girls were NEVER a match for me. Even to this day, Baptiste and I will play fight and wrestle and he is amazed at how STRONG I AM. LOL But, I learned to walk away from fights instead of being involved in one....

I have gone several times to Cassell to see my FAVORITE TEACHERS!!! They are both retired now, but I still keep in touch! I owe my life to these two women, they both SAVED ME FROM SELF DESTRUCTION!!!! I am eternally grateful!!!

the whole reason of my absence! LOL

2009-03-30T09:12:00.008-05:00

But first, Let's talk 80's Jaree had a 80's party at her school and I chapperoned and the hubs was the deejay! It was so fun, so much so that we are planning an 80's party for ourselves over the summer. We've done the 70's, and even the 90's, BUT NEVER THE 80'S!!! CAN' T WAIT! HERE ARE A FEW PICS FROM THE PARTY:

JAREE WITH BEST FRIEND JAZZY!

that one dimple drives me crazy. So sexy! Anyway he was jamming! LOL

It's Madonna, no it's just Mrs. Greggus!
Everyone likes to take pics except for JAREE! LOL
MY FAVORITE SHOT!

Jaree and buddy LaLa
Jaree and Sky! Love the pink hair. LOL
Jaree didn't want to keep those gloves on! LOL
Jaree getting ticked off because I kept stopping her to take pics! LOL

But when she got home she was full of poses and guess what? my camera battery died. O well! LOL

So if you were wondering where I have been:

That's right I have been scrapping like a maniac!!!!!

But I have also been working feverishly in this:

It sucks me in. Can't seem to think about anything else. LOL

Here are my latest entries!

The pictures really doesn't do it any justice, but I have been having so much fun working in it!!!!!!! Plan on working in it some more today!!!!

Also just started another project, so I am what I call "A SCRAPPING FOOL" right now!

I have also been Facebooking and Twittering, which has taken me away from my blog! But I promise to blog more and keep in contact with my blog family!

Until next time!!!!!!

Blog, what's that? I have been too busy...

2009-03-23T22:11:00.003-05:00

facebooking! LOL

Wow, I thought I would stop by and show you some love! LOL

What have I been doing!
The DAMN THING!!!!

I have scrapbooked, I have worked in my altered book, I went to a party! Got plastered! LOL I read! I shopped Went to the movies to see Last House on the Left, AND IT WAS GOOD AS HELL!!!!!!!! I went to church and had dinner with my mom sister and both our daughters!

CAN YOU SAY "BUSY ASS WEEKEND!" LOL

I am so tired I can hardly see straight! So I am going to just chill during the week! Crossing my fingers! Every time I speak those words, something just seems to POP UP! LOL

Switching Lanes here...

I am really loving SPRAY INKS! I mean really loving them!!! Like I want to use them on every layout loving them and I got my hands on the big bubble wrap!!! Dare I say FUN, FUN, FUN!!!!

I am going to take pics of the 3 layouts I did, plus the layouts I did in my altered book!!!
I just didn't feel like it today! LOL

but I promise to make myself upload them later tonight!

Well that is all I have....
Promise to be back tomorrow!

You never know.....

2009-03-19T09:26:00.002-05:00

...when you are playing around on the computer, how many WONDERFUL FRIENDSHIPS, you can make.

When I first started blogging, I had heard about it on twopeas! I thought to myself, this is something that sounds interesting!! I was already keeping a paper journal, so this was right up my alley. I love to write and pretty soon, the ideas just came! After about a month, I started taking part in blog challenges, and linked my blog to twopeas! Soon the comments start coming and I was so excited, I was exploring other people's blogs and finding out NOT ONLY DID we share COMMON interests like Scrapbooking, Painting, or Mixed Media art, but we had much more in common. I started to connect with so many people, that I normally would have never met, IF IT WERE NOT FOR THIS BLOG!!!!

Friendships were formed!
Sisterhood that will last a lifetime.....

It's crazy when you think about it! How can you care so deeply for somebody you never EVEN MET! How can you LOVE a person, that you have never LAID eyes on! But I am witness to tell you it HAPPENS.

I have laughed with these people, cried with these people, grieved with this people, shared in their joys, know their kids, have been proud when they accomplish something, like it's my very own family.....

Sometimes we may even fall out, but just like any other TRUE friendship we but our differences aside and come right back to our special place we hold in each other's heart for one another...

I used to call them, my CYBER FAMILY, today I will just say they are my Family!!!!!!

To my online bff's AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, I don't have to Name drop!!! LOL I love you, I appreciate you, and your FRIENDSHIP MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!! If you ever need me call me!!!! I mean it! My line is always open. For those of you who don't have my number, I WILL EMAIL IT YOU!!! Seriously!

You may NOT KNOW THIS, but a lot of you HAVE HELPED me so much TO GROW and be the person I am right now. I love getting the advice I get. Like I said it's my CHEAP THERAPY!!!

Today, I was supposed to be sharing what I did on my altered book! I still plan too, but I was reading a good friends blog today and I got emotional and felt the need to say this:

I LOVE YOU!! I APPRECIATE YOU!!! AND I THANK GOD FOR OUR FRIENDSHIP
AMEN!

2009-03-18T08:31:00.002-05:00

How is everyone today?
I am good!

So I have made myself get back on a workout schedule again. No more excuses. I have everything i need at home from ellipitical machines to punching bags. I still plan to renew my gym membership, but until then. I created a regimen that works for me. I work out for one hour 4 days a week. I walk for 30 minutes and work out 30 minutes! I walk first, come home do stretches and then I punch the bag for 15 minutes, ladies and gentlemen THAT IS A WORKOUT. But it's fun! I used to train with my brother when he was boxing, and I know a thing a two about jabbing, bobbing and weaving. LOL I do cardio for another 15, I cool down and then I am done. Some days, when I don't feel like walking I will use the eliptical for 30 minutes instead. I have eliminated the fried foods from my diet. This is the hardest for me. I have also limited my pork and red meat intake. I had my gall bladder removed in 2001, and it's better for my system if I don't eat the real fatty stuff or greasy stuff! LOL

I have also started to drink less soda and juice, and more water! I drink water, but now that I am working out nothing seems to quinch my THIRST, but water. Sounds crazy huh?

I want to lose anywhere from 25-35 lbs. That is my goal! I am giving myself 6 months to make it happy.

I have been inspired by our very own DONNA DOWNEY. Have you seen her lately! She looks damn good! you can read her story here

I don't want to shop in the back of the store anymore for my pants!!!!! I am so upside down! I am so bottom heavy, wide hips, bigs thigh, big butt, but small waisted, so finding pants is almost impossible. It may fit over my hips and butt, but it gaps in the waist! My upper body is small except for my arms. I hate my arms. Big arms run on my mom's side and I hate it!!!!!!! and I have got to get rid of this KANGAROO pouch I have been carrying around for 10 years!!!! I got it after giving birth to Jaree! LOL It just does not want to leave! LOL

I have my goals! I force myself to do it. It's not always fun! But you know what? Looking good and being healthy is PRICELESS!

In other news, I am having a good time with this altered book! If you haven't seen it, you can see it here. I had to put it aside for a few days to take care of Baptiste, but soon as he went to work, you guessed it I was back into it! I will post some pics TOMMORROW so stay tuned! Also did a couple new layouts! My scrap mojo is IN FULL SWING!!! LOL

I did try some of the Tattered angels glimmer mist and I am sad to say, I didn't really like it too much. It didn't give me the splattered effect I was hoping to get! It's more for overall coverage of something. So I tried the Maya Road's spray ink and it's awesome. I have NOT tried the Tim Holtz spray ink yet, but plan to today. I already know they are the bomb! I have heard so many great reviews and my good friend VEE uses them all the time. She is the whole reason for my new addiction. LOL

Today, will be rainy bummer, but I will be INSIDE getting my scrap on!!!! Yay

That's all folkes....
Be back 2 morrow
Dana Brooks-----------------> OUT! (Always wanted to say, I love Ryan Seacrest! ) LOL

i'm baaaaaaaaaack!!!!

2009-03-16T13:28:00.003-05:00

This is the face of a happy kid! When mom says hell to the naw, I won't buy you a 1,000 dollar laptop, ask Grandpa! LOL My dad is something else. He spoils his grandkids rotten!!!!

Look at Jariel, he's probably thinking can't wait until it's my turn!
Spent some time with this jazzy lady on Sunday. She took Jaree for some girly time for the weekend, church, dinner, shopping that kind of stuff. Jaree came home with new earrings, new bracelet and new necklace! Gotta love my mom!

She uses that thing more than I do!

Can you believe my mom will be 65 yrs. old next month!!!

Ok, so you know I have become addicted to spray inks!!!!! I heard that the Tim Holtz spray ink was the best, can't wait to play. And this stuff is not cheap. DAng!
Figured since I was playing with spray inks, I might as well get some ink pads for my stamps. You can never hace enough. Love the colors. First time ordering from ScrapnStamp. They shipped my order very promptly!

So, the weather is getting warmer and that means.....
I am doing an outdoor photo shoot with Jaree......

This is my favorite shot!

and then we take it indoors.....

A MESS!!!!!!!!!! She is getting so big and blosomming so fast! She is only 9!!!! She is 5 feet tall, 115 lbs, a size 3/4 in WOMEN'S clothing and I my friends am crying. She is getting so big, so fast that it scares me. I mean this girl has a FIGURE! SHE'S NINE! Baptiste says he has the shot gun loaded and ready.....LOL

That's all folkes..

Oh, Baptiste is doing ok! Except he got dry socket on the left side! Poor baby!!!!

I have become addicted to.....

2009-03-11T10:15:00.001-05:00

spraying inks. I got some glimmer mist! Heard great things!!!! I wanted to try Maya Road, so I only got one. I ended up liking the Maya road spray ink better! Go figure. Glimmer mist is more watery and does not give that splashing effect. It's more of an overall coverage type mist. I still like it don't get me wrong, but I have some Tim Holtz inks on the way as we speak! Heard great things about it from Vee!

You know I am the coupon queen and Justletmescrapbook had 50% off sale and I could not let that go to waste, so I got this!!! It's sad when you try to find something to buy and realize you have just about EVERYTHING there is.....Well I didn't have this! LOL
This is my new best friend. Meet Owie!!! He is too cute. We are going to have a lot of fun together. I love rubberstamps. and I like whimsical owls and birds so I thought this would be a great addition to my ever growing rubberstamp collection. It is made by Hero Arts!!!!!

So, like I said I have become so enthralled and consumed by this altered book, there has been no time for pretty much anything else. I still need to finish Eclipse. I need to work on some submission call layouts, that are due soon, I have some laundry piling up, i have 5 movies that I bought, that are just waiting to be watched, I have about 23 magazines I need to read....

You get the picture!!!!!

Now who watched Idol last night! Omg! I stand corrected, I originally said that this show was going to suck! I am eating my words because it was so good last night. I have some favs. Lil Rounds, the 16 year old girl with the red hair, and the guy who sang Human Nature!!!! I don't know all there names!! I think everyone did well last night! Some better than others, but it was a great show!!!!

Now I love this show called THE BAD GIRLS club and I don't know why because it makes my blood boil everytime I watch it!!! I am so glad that Whitney and Aliea are off the show. They needed to go! What they did to Cookie was so wrong. I am glad that Tiffany realized that she was INDEED being a follower, with that DUMD FAB FIVE shit. I mean, are you in high school or what. I have NEVER been part of A MEAN GIRL CLIQUE, I was very, very, very POPULAR in high school, Poms, softball, student council, you name it! And I never SHIT on anyone! I am glad my MOM raised me to TREAT people the way YOU WANT TO BE TREATED! Now if you crossed me, that was a DIFFRENT story. People learned very fast NOT TO MESS WITH ME! LOL I don't play! LOL

Getting back to BGC, I am already sick of the new girl Ashley, she's a slut and a follower and I wished she would be gone too. I hope they bring KC back!!!!! I wonder who the 2 new girls will be!!!

Yes, I love reality Tv!

Can't wait for the results show tonight on Idol! Who do you think is going home??? I say Anoop and the young 17 year old girl! I don't know names. Sorry!

I am so psyched that a new episode of SUPERNATURAL is coming on Tommorow! I will be glued in front of the tv...I need a Dean and Sam fix!!!!! LOL

I think I have rambled on long enough.....

Until next time!!!!!!!

a sneak peek

2009-03-10T08:15:00.004-05:00

Here is a sneak peek into my altered book. I took a class with Martha Bonneau! She rocks so hard. She is a fashionista for Scrapinstyle and she taught this class at Craft Fancy in Arlington Heights, IL. I could not make the class so she was gracious enough to mail a kit to me with instructions. You can view her gallery here. And here is a link to her blog.

I decided to change the title from Ideas to Loves. Our covers are both similiar but with some differences.

The guts are Totally different! I had to do me. LOL

Opening pages!

I used the masking tape technique here and that was fun!

Pages 3 and 4

There's that dry wall tape I bought! Used toilet tissue roll to make circles!! can you tell I was having fun with the masking tape!

I love these pages ! Bubble wrap technique!

there's that colored duct tape again. LOL

I am not done, but just wanted to show you what I have been doing. I am obsessed with this book. It is about people places and things I love!!! The only thing I did not like was rebinding the book back. I started to cheat and just use my bind it all, but decided not too!!!

I cannot wait to finish this book. I will post more once I am finished.
Fun! Fun! Fun!

More daylight hours means...

2009-03-08T12:38:00.002-05:00

A PERKIER HAPPIER DANA!!!!

That means we are getting more and more close to SPRING...
I can plant my flowers, work on my garden, and spend more time OUTSIDE.

I am truly an OUTSIDE person.
I hate being COOPED up in the house!
That is NOT ME!!

I like to take walks not for healthy reasons, just to walk and enjoy NATURE....
I am an EXPLORER at heart..

I love Fresh Air....
I like opening all the windows and smelling that spring air! I can almost smell it..

I love the smell of rain!
I love the smell of fresh cut grass!

I love the smell of flowers blooming!
It just makes me happy!!!!

I love being able to play hopscotch with Jaree , or hoola hoop, or play double dutch ( I can jump my butt off), chineese jumproap, playing with sidewalk chalks..

Playing Horse with the boys...
Playing softball and piggy...

I love it !!!
Any type of heatwave, you BEST BELIEVE I am outside, even if I am sitting in my lawn chairs.

I am more creative too! LOL
I love taking my kids to the park, the zoo, milleniun park, downtown chicago just to walk around....

Those days are soon here!!!
I can feel it!!

I cannot wait!
I was so sick these last couple of days .....I don't know what I had, but i Had stuff coming out of both ends (TMI), awful stomach cramps, a bad headache, a fever. and muscle stiffness. It was like stomach flu mixed with the flu. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I was SHUT DOWN!

It got a little better yesterday, but later at night I started feeling NAUSEOUS, yet again. I had to hurry up and lay down.

This morning i feel better, but i have not eaten anything in 3 days, I am STARVING, but I am scared to eat...

I did get a chance to work on that Martha Bonneua altered book class. I totally freaked it and put my own edge on it! I did do the cover the same, just changed the word from ideas to loves!!! The guts I chose to do MY WAY!!!! LOL I am so happy with how its coming out! This is rare. I always criticize my own work, but for some reason NOT WITH this altered book. I just can not stop. I think I have found my niche. Now that I know how to do this. It is something I want to do again! It was so fun ripping a book a part and putting it back together ... I love to alter things, so this was right ON TIME. I will be running to every thrift store imaginable and getting books that I can alter!!!!! I will take pics and show you what I have done so far!

I am way excited!!!!!! I was so mad at my body because I got sick, while scrapping and was trying to fight it off because I wanted to continue ...but my body said "bytch lay your ass down" and that is what I did!!LOL

It felt good to blog today!

This is my form of cheap therapy! LOL

Until next time...................

My head is spinning!

2009-03-05T12:00:00.002-06:00

This whole week has been a blur!
We burried my cousin on Monday...

and everything after that has just been one big blur!
I am honestly doing ok... I think?
Some days are better than others.

I know when I am feeling better because I can concentrate and function!
When I am down, I can't do anything BUT SLEEP!!!!

I have been able to clean up, take care of the house, watch television, and read.....

All things I can't do when I am depressed!

I am so disappointed that I have not started in my art journal.
I really wanted to get going on this ....

Just so much has happened,kwim?

I even want to get started on that Martha B. class!!!! Just have not had the time or MOJO, kwim?

You can't force MOJO?
Atleaast, I can't. It has to flow for me!!!!

Hoping to get back into the swing of things!!!!! soon! for real, I mean for reals for reals!

Jaree is sick, which puts the entire house on RED ALERT, anytime she gets sick she is prone for seizures. I try soooo hard to keep this girl well! I mean really. I am the bleach queen and lysol queen, and it has been awhile since she has gotten sick, and BOOM!!!! She has a temp of 103, sweats , chills, body aches, headache, soar throat, and tummy ache.

She is so my child. When she gets sick. SHE GETS SICK! I am the same way! That is why I try my best to keep healthy!!!

She is home! In bed and getting the royal treatment!!! and loving every minute!!!

Hoping she gets better soon, because I want to get out and about!

I did order some glimmer mist and tim holtz spray inks. I have become addicted!!! I was kind of bummed because they are expensive! I almost said forget it. LOL But I figured I can use them for both scrapbooking and my art journal. LOL

I had a $5.oo off coupon for orders $50 through scrapbook.com and that is where I ordered them. I also got an order coming in from Justletmescrapbook 50% off entire order! Yes you heard right! I got tons of Jenni Bowlin and the cutest owl stamp and other stuff! LOL

I want to scrap so bad! Just don't have the mojo! LOL

Healing Process

2009-03-04T07:59:00.002-06:00

Most of you know I lost my cousin on February 11th....
He was 39 years old, and he left 5 beautiful children and a lovely wife...

We had his homegoing on his 40th birthday, which was March 1st.

It was a beautiful service. WE HAD CHURCH! do you hear me!!!

Yes, we are devastated and we will miss Junior, but he is in a better place. He doesn't have to worry about dialysis, medicine, doctors appointments, surgeries.......
He doesn't have to suffer.
No more insulin.....

My cousin was a TROOPER.
He never complained!!!!
He lived life to the the fullest!!

He did everything in extremes....

He loved you to the extreme!
He had your back to the extreme! I don't know how many people he was going to "pop" because of me........LOL
Yes he was protective!

He dressed to the extreme! His hat had to match his shoes, and his clothes had to be ironed like the cleaners put those creases in his pants! The boy stayed FRESH!

If he cussed your ass out, it was to the extreme.
In other WORDS you wasn't winning NO ARGUMENTS with Junior!!! LOL

Junior was funny as hell! HE kept you laughing, but moreover, he kept it REAL.
He didn't sugar coat SHIT!!!!!

We were close as hell!! I loved him like a brother and I will miss him so much!

My uncle Jay, did a video tribute that was 30 minutes long from his birth on up until his last days....
It wasn't a dry eye is the sanctuary.

That boy was loved! It was packed.

At one point I completely lost it, I mean I lost it, and Baptiste had to help me out!
But over all, I did well!!!

I didn't get out at the burial, I couldn't! My feet would not move. I didn't want to see them put him in the ground! That was too much!!!

His kids took it hard and so did Auntie Joyce! It got pretty bad in there at times, when I left I had the most God awful headache.

They had two separate repasts!!!
I am not even going to get into that BS.

So I attended both!

Got home late, watched his video and bawled hysterically again.
Went to the burial and then the whole family went to golden corral.

Chilled with the cousins for awhile. A long while, they didn't leave my house until after 3 in the morning. YOu know how it is. We were lit up! We got scummy drunk! LOL

and I don't even drink like that! But we reminised, talked about the good times, cried so more and then I told they ass to either get out or get some cover, cuz I was going to bed.

Slept most of the day away yesterday. The morning was rough, but I am getting better!

Taking it slow! One day at a time!
Baptiste has been wonderful!!! I mean a GOD-SEND.!!!

I love this man!

Mojo has left the building! I wanna scrap, but am not feeling like doing much these days...

My bed is my best friend right now..... LOL