Collector by nature!

Ever since I can remember, I have always collected something. When I was a child it was unicorns, rocks, stationary, porcelain dolls, stickers, I can remember getting my allowance on Fridays and heading to Chicago Ridge Mall on Saturday, because they had a huge store that sold stickers. I remember blowing my whole allowance on scratch and sniff stickers and Garbage Pail kids (do you remember those), I could hardly wait to get home, so that I could spend hours putting my stickers into my album. Everyone would marvel at how awesome my sticker album was. I was so proud!

Fast forward to now, I am 31 years old and still collecting some things that carried over from childhood...Like Teddy Bears mostly plush, I am a Boyd bears fanatic, have been since I was about 9 years old. My aunt Josie bought me Sophie, a boyd's bear with a pink crocheted dress, with matching booties and bonnet, she also bought me a calendar, and diary. Little did I know that it would turn into a way of life with me. I tried to get my daughter into Boyds, which she loves but she is far more interested in Hello Kitty, right now.

I love teddy bears, they are displayed all over my house. Mostly in my bedroom. Somethings never fade...

I also collect writing pens. When I was teen, I always got cool and interesting pens. Fast foward to today, I am the same way. I love, love, ,love writing pens. I live in office max and Target. I also, have a good relationship with my children's pediatrician, who always give me the neat pens from the pharmeceutical companies. Once, my dad said " Why do you need all of those pens, you can't write with all of them" My dad was oblivious. He hadn't a clue. I spent hours in my room sampling each and every pen. I love to write. Writers need pens. Comprende.

I also collect things that are purple, purple candles, purple picture frames, mostly decor for my bedroom which in Deep Purple and Mint Green. Every time I see something any shade of purple, I have to buy it. Its an obssesion.

I guess you can say I collect bath and body works products... I Have to have everything that comes out. i am so into the breathe line right now. The orange one is the best! I love to smell pretty! My mom taught me that catch phrase when I was about 4....

I also collect journals, I love to write and I have a journal for just about everything, and I can never pass up a cute or interesting looking journal. I love to write!

Of course, I collect scrapbooking supplies, that would be obvious! I am a scrapper, it goes hand and hand...lol

Dana

My weird habits

Gosh, I did not realize how weird I truly am, until I start thinking about my habits...LOL!!!

1. I talk to my self
2. I like to stick my feet under butts...preferably my dh...keeps my feet warm
3. I love the smell of fresh cut grass and gasoline
4. I cannot sleep without the tv on. If I wake up and its off, i turn it on, and go back to sleep.
5. I suck my tongue, really involuntary, I really look dumb doing it..
6. I don't like to wash my face, inside the shower, habit for me to brush my teeth, then cleanse my face
7. I can't stand my food to touch, everything must be seperate!


Ok, its official, I'm weird...thanks Meme! Lol
Dana

What comforts me?

This was one of Meme's challenges awhile back. In time of desperation, it is good to know things that comfort us, things that make us feel at home, things that make us feel a sense of euphoria...Right now, I have turned to things that are comforting. My daughter was just diagnosed with epilepsy. The news was devastating to me. Earth shattering! Nobody, wants to hear their child has a serious illness, but immediately I turned to things that brought reassurance:

The sound of my mother's voice..
embrace from my husband
Prayer
My bible
HOt Shower
Bubble Baths
Hot Chamomille Tea
My Bed
My bath robe
A great chickk flick ( Like Steal Magnolias)
Chunky Monkey Ice Cream
Kisses from my children
A Warm Blanket
A good book
Seeing smiles on my children's face
Mediation and Deep Breathing
Writing in my journal
Blogging
My slippers and cute socks
Hot cappuccino (French Vannilla and Reese peanut butter cup)

Those are a few things that bring me comfort, they are my crutch in times of need? Thanks Meme! What a wonderful and thought provoking question. It was really therapeutic and brought forth insight.

What comforts you???

Dana

Home Sweet Home!

Jaree was released from the hospital today. Thank God! She was diagnosed with epilepsy and sent home on Dilantin. She will only be on this medication for a month and then the doctor will switch her to Topamax. This will be a major adjustment for me. Monitoring what she eats, where she goes, she can never swim, bathe, or go outside without me. This is going to be so hard, because she is sooooooooo very independent. The doctor did, want her to lead a normal life. They don't even want me to report to the school that she has epilepsy. The neurologist did make me feel better. He said that his goal as her doctor, is to make sure she leads a normal life. Preferably seizure free. She only has to be on seizure meds for 1 year. That is of course without seizure. I am so tired. Jaree woke up last night, asking for her daddy at about 3am, he left around midnight, to get some comfortable rest to go to work. We both were staying there everyday since Friday. She started panicing and her respirations got really low. She screamed and cried for almost an hour. I was going to call him, but thought it would be best not to wake him. Finally, she got back to sleep at 10 minutes to 4am. It took me awhile to get back to sleep. I got right back up at 7:45am. She was sleeping so sound. I went to the lobby got coffee, checked twopeas, (thank God they had the internet), and watched the news. I got back to room, she was still sleeping soundly. I ate breakfast and she woke up around 9:30am, she went to the restroom. The childlife specialist came in and brought her all kinds of puzzles, 2 art kits, and coloring books to take home. This child has really been spoiled from the day she went into the hospital. The nurses in Icu bought her a beautiful blanket and cute teddy bear. Then the Pediatric floor nurses bought her a teddy bear pillow and coloring books, then the anestielogist bought her a teddy bear, her father bought her the cutest doggie teddy bear, that she will not go anywhere without, she named him Spot...... when she left it was like she was a celebrity, everyone signed her coloring sheet...all the doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, housekeeping, you name it. She got enough hugs to last her a lifetime.

When she got home, her daddy surprised her with a huge bag of gifts his co-workers bought for her. She got 7 of the cutest plush teddy bears, candies, coloring books, cards, money, piggy bank, and the cutest blanket and pillow sets! Guess what? That was just the day shift! The night shift also have a bag of stuff for her. She said " My birthday is not until April 18th"! I laughed because she was overwhelmed with all her goodies. She is so happy to be home. I am too. I am just trying not to over do it. I am going to try not to go into CRAZY OVERPROTECTIVE PSYCHO MOM MODE. Its going to be hard, but I am going to try hard.

She is so strong, she survived an horrible ordeal, and if you look at her she looks like a mini-diva.

Dana

Physically and Mentally tired!

I am so exhausted. While Jaree has been progressing, she has started to worsen in other areas. They still do not have a source of infection, so they do not know where her fever is coming from. She started an anti-convulsant (fosphenytoin), and I researched and do not like the side effects of this medication, she cannot just stop cold turkey, even if I wanted her off, because it can send her into a seizure right away, instead she has to be weaned off. She has become hypertensive, and they are trying to regulate that. She has been hacking and coughing, because she aspirated, while seizing, and she has to restart the albuterol treatments, which also could lower her threshold for another seizure. I have only had about 6 hours of sleep in three days. I am upset with alot of things that have been going on at the hospital. She was supposed to have gotten an MRI today, but was unable because she kept coughing. I kept pushing the doctor to give her a breathing treatment, but she did not want to, because she was not weazy. I don't know what type of stethoscope she was using, but I could hear the weazing without one. I am just pissed off right now. I am scared. No one can tell me whats going on with my baby. It just has been an emotional roller coaster. I am thankful to God, that she even made it. Because at one point it was touch and go. She seized for over an hour, close to two. They gave her enough valium and adavant to tranquilize an elephant, let alone, a 6 and 1/2 year old, 6olb, little girl. It has really been a test for me. She is sooooooo irritable. Any little thing sets her off! I am trying to stay calm. I always try to take atleast 30 minutes for myself. Otherwise, I would become postal. hehe. I am going to continue to pray for her to be well, and for strength, because it is really starting to affect me now.

Dana

Prayers for my daughter!

Please say a prayer for my daughter! She was hospitalized yesterday, she had another seizure. She is in Intensive Care. She was complaining of a sore throat, and we layed down and took a nap together,I awoke to her convulsing. Even though this a frequent occuring thing, its is very scary. It is a hard thing to see your child suffer. She was struggling so hard to breathe. They had first thought she need to be intubated, thank God she was breathing on her own, struggling hard, but breathing on her own. She had to have 7 doses of Adavent (Valium) to stop the convulsions. It took about 2 hours for her to stop seizing. Last night, she finally woke up. She is very disoriented, but atleast she is awake. She is not totally out of the woods, but she in progressing nontheless. Please say a prayer for my baby! She is my only daughter! I love her soooo much! I prayed day after day for this little girl of mine. The lord blessed me with her and now I pray he blesses me with a miracle of keeping her healthy. I had such an overwhelming support system. My mom,sister, husband, mil, both my sil's... we swapped out most of the night. Only 2 are allowed in the room. She is complaining about her throat and chest hurting. They suspect she has viral croup, which brought on a fever, which in turn brought on the seizure. The doctor said, it is atypical for a child her age to have a febrile seizure. In most cases, children grow out of these type seizures by age 5. Jaree will be 7, in April. The neurologist suspects epilepsy. She will be having an EEG and MRI on Monday. They are starting her on anti-convulsive meds today. If I understand correctly, she will be on these meds for awhile. I hate this! Those medications have zombie like side effects. I hope they don't plan on sending her home on any medication. She is such an active litte girl and I hate to have her be so listless.

I am so scared. So I am asking for all your prayers!
Dana

Are you comfortable in the skin you are in? Food for thought

This is such a catch phrase, heard in commercials and seen in ads all across the globe, that poses an excellent questioon. Are you truly comforatble with yourself. I would like to think I am . From birth, my mom always taught me that you should always be yourself, but be the very best that you can be. Never let anyone or anything define you! I think that has stuck with me to some point. I have developed a thick skin for criticisms and open mind to constructive criticisms.

I have always been myself. I am proud of who I am. When I look in the mirror I like what I see staring back at me, but there are those days of self doubt and self pity. There are those days when I wish I could shed a few pounds, there are those things that I think my skin isn't looking its best, there are those days I wished I could be more successful in life, there are those days I doubt myself as being a good wife, mother, or overall GOOD PERSON.

There are days that I look back and wish I could change the past! So if you really think about it is there anyone that is really comfortable with themselves. I mean if I truly thought I was perfect, I would never grow. My life would become stagnant, stuck in a time warp. I would never learn from my mistakes....

Overall, I do think that I am a good friend, a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, a good sister, a good aunt, A GOOD PERSON.... I am a very loving, caring, and understanding person. I continue growing as a individual everyday. AS my brother says "It gets greater later...

Until next time
Dana

I am turning into a hermit!

I don't know if it's the cold weather or what? But, I have retreated to my home. I do not like doing anything that involves going outside of my house. I can't even really blame it on the weather because its truly been mild here in Chicago, but I just hate to go outside. I am usually always on the go, but now I hate it. The problem is, I hate getting up dressed! I love my sweats and pjs! They are so darned cute and comfy! When I do go out, my hair has to be done, clothes ironed, make up done, even if I go to the grocery store. I think that's the problem. I am dreading tommorrow, my hubby has a gig, and one of his co-workers is having a birthday party at the club he dj's at and he really wants me to go. I WANT TO STAY HOME IN MY PJ'S!!!! But , I guess I will have to give them up for one day. I hope he does not decide to stay for long, because I want to come home and do some reading and scrapping. I have not accomplished much of my housework....lol, but I have been doing alot of scrapping and tons of reading.

My mother asked me if I was depressed and I said "No", not really. I don't think I am depressed, just comfortable at home, in my own skin, doing me! I "KICKED IT", enough and now it is so time to chill! I don't mind the occassional going out, but when it becomes habitual, I can't do that anymore. Guess I am getting old!

My husband calls me Granny ma, because I am usually dozing off at about 10Pm, and I nap alot! I am just tired. I am up with the kids at 6am, getting them off to school. The last child leaves at 8:05am, I don't go back to sleep. I try to accomplish a few things like laundry or any left over dishes. Then by that time, I am too wired to go back to sleep. So at about 7pm, I am dragging my feet because I am just freaking exhausted. But I always make time for him, if you know what I mean..hehee! So he shouldn't be complaining. I really got that man spoiled. He wants all of my time. He is worse than the children!

I guess I will be getting out soon, because I love going to the movies and When a Stranger Calls and Final Destination 3 are all coming out next week, so I will most definitely be going out to see that!

until next time
Dana

BRRRR it's cold!!

I really cannot complain, because the weather here in Illinois has been wonderful. I absolutely hate being cold. My husband always talks about me in the winter, because I come to bed in full body armor...lol pjs, sometimes a sweatshirt, and big wool socks. Guess that's not sexy...haha! But I cannot stand to be cold, especially my feet and my hands. If my feet is cold, my whole body is cold. I always drink tons of tea, capuccino, and hot chocalate in the winter. I love my big quilts too! I put my head under the cover, until I get warm!

I am dreading going to pick my hubby up from work, because it is cold out! I wished I would have never taken the car! I would much be snuggled up in bed with my pjs, mywoolies, and my quilt reading my book! But, instead I have to go pick my snuggle bunny up from work. Can't wait until my oldest starts driving. I will be stoked!

Can't wait to get back home, get in bed, and get some reading done!
Until next time!
Dana

I've been tagged!

Tagged....
Four jobs you’ve had in your life:

1. Oasis Video (you would be amazed to see how many elderly hearing impaired men rent porn

2. Target (highly overworked extremely underpaid)

3. Financial Aid dept of South Suburban Community College in South Holland, Il. (Don't mess with people and their grant checks...that's all i gotta say. Seen plenty students go postal!

4. Beauty Salon (found out that women can be so bitchy over their hair, just like I am....lol)

Four movies you would watch over and over:

1. The Color Purple

2. Life

3. The Green Mile

4. Sling Blade

Four places you have lived:

South Side of Chicago from birth until I was 14 1/2

Lynwood, Il until I was 23

Chicago Heights,Il

Alsip,IL

Four TV shows you love to watch:

1. Invasion

2. Supernatural

3. American Idol

4. REal World/Road Rules Gaunlet (Alton is great eye candy!!!)

Four places you have been on vacation:

1. Miami beach

2. St. Thomas

3. San Juan, Puerto Rico

4. St. Croix

Four websites you visit daily:

1. www.twopeasinabucket.com

2. www.creatingkeepsakes.com

3. www.blogger.com

4. www.scrapjazz.com

Four of your favorite foods:

Steak Tostada Suizas

Grilled NY Strip Steak, Baked Potato w/butter and sour cream, and TExas Toast

Crab Legs and Lobster Tails, Shrimp

Perch and Salmon

Four places you would rather be right now:

At the spa getting an awesome full body massage

on a cruise to the carribean

getting some z's

in my hubby's arms, but he's playing 2K6 on his motherf**&^%$#@ XBOX!!!

Four bloggers you are tagging:

Tangee

Monique

Tracy

Monica

this is me 

Thoughts shared before hitting the sheets

As my day nears a close, I have been contemplating many things...
One thing is how am I going to a better person in 2006. What can I do to live a better life?
For starters, I have been keeping a journal of things that make me feel good, things that make me feel bad, people who I feel great around, People who make me feel inhibited, things that comfort me and things that make me feel comfortable. I have to take this initiative,t o take a honest look at certain aspects of my life. I am not getting any younger. I am 31 years old and I owe it to myself to delve deep inside of me and make some changes. One of things I have been doing was taking responsibility for me....I am the only person responsible for my own happiness. No one else. I cannot change people to my liking...I can only change how I, Myself, will react or for lack there of...not reacting, by removing myself from potentially destructive relationships and behaviors.

I, in the past, have been toooo trusting and have been burned many times as an end result. I am the type of person, that is willing to take the shirt off my back for my fellow men. Many people have mistook my niceness for naivity and weakness. I have opened my heart and home to many undeserving people, but I have always been a trusting person, and try to give every one the benefit of the doubt. Frankly, that shit, does not work. I hate to shut certain people out of my life, but I cannot continue on being used and abused. Hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me...

I am going to live for me and my family.... and keep the friends who are positive and movign in the same direction I am...Idon't have time for drama in my life. I have a husband for that...lol

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be a uptight witch, but I will keep my guard up and feel my self out first.

Until next time
Peace, Love, and Hair grease

Redefining me!

After alot of soul searching , I have found that I am not happy with the person staring back at me in the mirror. It has nothing to do with image, but what's on the inside. I have become such a dependant woman. I depend on too many other people, as well as things for my happiness. When happiness comes within. I got so wrapped up into being a wife...a mother, a daughter, a friend, that I lost Dana somewhere along the way. I am going to start pampering myself, and not depending on other's too do it. I am going to start spending time with myself (me time), instead of depending on other's to spend their time with me. I am going to start loving myself more , instead of wanting more love from other's. Don't get me wrong, I am happily married. My husband is wonderful! I love my children with all my heart. It's just that I am not only a mother or only a wife. I am me...Dana

I plan on making dates with myself. Trip to Border's for coffee and reading. Signing up for more scrapbook classes, and attending more crops. Even going to the spa for massages and manicures. Looking within for my happiness is the route I will be taking from now on.

Dana

Does anyone know how to add pictures to your profile???

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

WOW! Its hard to believe another year has come and gone! It seems just like yesterday we were celebrating the coming of 2005, now 2006 is here! Now, that 2005 is behind me, I do not plan on dwelling on the things that I did wrong, nor the things I did right! I just plan on living life to the fullest. I plan to be more spontaneous. I am such a rigid person, and I need to relax and just enjoy life. I am not going to sweat the small stuff!!! I plan to be a better mother, wife, sister, daughter, and just be myself! I am going to stop defining and redifining myself. I am going to stop the unrealistic expectations of myself and just relax. I think that life would be much better if I would change these things about myself. So, my new years resolution is to be more laid back and relax more. To just enjoy life. What's yours??? Dana

Whew, I can breathe now!

Gosh, I cannot believe it has almost been a month since I last blogged. I have been so busy preparing for Christmas, and it went by so fast. I have to admit I am a little melancholy because now its all over, but Christmas will come again...heehee. I did not get myself into the same predictament as last year, CREDIT CARD DEBT! OUr bank has a christmas club and we had a budget of $2500 and I am glad to say, we still have about 900 dollars of that left. I did really well with paying attention to sales, and I got some things for free with my purchases. The kids got all they wanted and they are totally content. Our house is awreck after all the immense amount of cleaning preparations, but I am not going to complain toooooo much! My Christmas was great! I enjoyed being around family and friends, but now I am ready to get back into my regular routine. But first, and am going some much needed R&R.

Teenager's who can live with them

This is my 13 year old Jacques. He is GROWING PAIN, right in my ass! LOL. 

Prayers for my uncle

My mom called me yesterday to inform me that My uncle" Bud", is really sick. He has prostrate cancel and also has diabetes, and the medicine that they were giving him to treat his cancer, made his sugar shoot up to 1000. I didn't even know it can get that high. I am hypoglycemic, which means I have very low blood sugar, which is also bad. But, anyway, they only thing they can do is operate. They can't do anything for the prostrate, it's tooo bad. Now they are going take the testicles. They are going to perform the surgery on Monday. The problem is my uncle lives in Palmdale California. He has lived in Chicago most of his life. He retired about 8 years ago, and he moved to Cali about 6 years ago. We all tried to tell him, that it was NOT THE MOST IDEAL MOVE. He has no family out there. He's older now. And his wife cannot DRIVE. Everytime he gets sick, they have to wait for an ambulance. He wants to move back here, but is too sick. I get get so angry, because we all tried to explain these types of scenarios with him. I know that he did not ask to get sick, but I wished he was at home, so that we could ALL be with him. He needs to be surrounded with family and friends. People who love him. We are all going to have to fly out to California, and take care of him. I am really scared for my mom. My mom is the youngest of 9 children, 3 have passed on. There are six left. That scares my mom. She is in remission herself. She had colon cancer, so she is really taking this hard.

I told my mom, that Whatever God's will is, it will be done. All we can do is pray for healing. I am very positve about this, because my uncle is fiesty. He is a fighter. He can get thru this. I am confident, that he will be just fine! When he is doing better, I am going give him a good tongue lashing for scaring the HELL out us....

Dana

I am so freaking mad at my husband right now...

I am so mad right now, I could scream and wake up the dead. My sister is going thru a divorce and in the process lost their home, because she could not afford to keep up with the payments because they had bought the home based on two incomes, and two incomes were needed to maintain it!~ Simple as that!

With that being said, she needed to be out of her home by today or she will lose out on her equity reimbursment. She had to give the lawyer the keys and the place needed to cleared out and cleaned up. Or she will not get the other half of her money. Well, the only help that my sister has (or maybe I should the only consistent help), has been my mom (a 61 year old cancer survivor), my aunt Mamie(64 year old rheumatiod arthritis sufferer), my father ( a 71 year old, who had a quadruple bypass a few years ago), so its not like she's dealing with spring chickens.
Well, my sister who is very humble and never asks anybody for help, asked me to ask my husband, son and nephew to come over to assist with the last of the boxes that needed to go to storage. She said that they were EXTREMELY EXHAUSTED (they been working non-stop for 2 weeks) and I understand that.

Well, my hubby gets all pissed and said it was his day off and he did not FEEL LIKE GOING ALL THE WAY TO CRETE...which is about 25-30 minutes away if that... i DON'T HAVE A CAR! I wished I did, because I wiould be getting the hell out of here. I understand he is off, and would like to relax and kick back, but my sister is in desperate need of help. He keeps throwing in my face that my brother hasn't been there once, but FUCK HIM...I can't work about what the next man will do...I can only worry about myself. I know that if it were the other way around, my sister would be here for me in a heartbeat.. I don't even want to look at his dumb ass when he gets home. This is the killing part! He goes to play basketball at the gym, knowing my sister does not have anyone to help her. He better not say one freaking word to me when he gets home. I am LIVID!

Dana

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY.....

.....keeps Dana very frustrated..... Honestly, I feel like all I do is clean up constantly and its neverending. My kids and my husband are such freaking slobs, it drives me nuts. My husband philosophy is that he works, so he shouldn't have to clean...that's fine if you don't MESS UP. I am not a MAID, and I damn sure am not a SLAVE. I swear I spend 18 hours a day cleaning up, doing laundry, cooking dinner, breaking up fights between the children, and helping the children with their homework. I hardly have anytime for DANA! I know this sounds like I am regretful, that is not the case. I am underappreciated around here. I'm going gonna have to go on HIATUS again.

Today, I got up, got the children ready for school, (everyone was late because my silly husband set the alarm clock to pm instead of am), so I had to rush! After finally getting all three children off to school, I started a load of laundry and mopped the bathroom floors. I noticed my son did not take out the trash, nor walk the dog so guess who did it? U guessed it....me! The kitty didn't have any food or water in his bowl so I fed him, then the dog starting bitching and I noticed he didn't have any food. The kids had their pjs all over the hallway (remember they were late this morning), so I got that up. By this time, I was starving it was already 11, I ate a bite and started to relax and read my Essence magazine, didn't get to enjoy that long, because I had to take field trip money to the children because they left it. Then I came home washed dishes, put another load in the laundry and put the other in the dryer. The computer desk was messy, so I decided to organize it. Then I looked over at the entertainment center and it had dvds everywhere, so i straightened that up. I missed majority of all my children, fell asleep on One Life to Live ( I was freaking exhausted), now it was time to take dh to work. Husband discovered he left his wallet at home, so I went back home, scooped the kids up and went back to his job.While their, I took my pharmacy test, my application was lost, so I had to do that over from the beginning. The whole process took an hour. I was going to go home and relax before the kids, BUT, hubby decides he wants me to go get lunch since I had the car. So I went to Mr. Sub, went back to his job to deliver the goods. Got home fifteen minutes before the kids gymnastics class started, got them dressed. Only to get interrupted by my mom, who does not know what A BRIEF CONVERSATION looks like...haha. I ended up getting the kids there 15 minutes late...I decided to go get a bite to eat. I decided not to go home and eat, instead I ate in the park district parking lot, because I only had 25 minutes, before they were out anyway. I ate in the car. Scooped the kids. Took them to Micky D's. I was too damned tired to cook. Came in the door, took out another load of GARBAGE ( I swear we create more Garbage, than a whole village). Got the kids situated. Checked homework. Got school clothes ready for tommorrow. Made sure all the children are bathed. And Now I only have 30 mintutes before I have to pick up my DAMNED HUSBAND. Whew, GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY....I need a drink...lol

Dana