Trust

....one of my biggest flaws is that I am toooo trusting.

My parents tell me this..
Baptiste always tell me this...
My friends....


And now it has all come back to haunt me.

Make a long story short:

I befriended a group of children that live next door to me. It's 10 children in all. 8 whom live at home. They are a little less fortunate than we are, so I always try to help them out. They come to my house, they use the computer, they eat, they play the video games, and I welcome that. I have always had this NURTURING and MOTHERING nature, far before I became a mother. I was babysitting at 8 years old. Ok.

Well, yesterday, I went in my room to look for the kids gifts. 2 video ipods and a cell phone. To be exact. Because I kept all the toys and big stuff at my mom's. Because my children are nosey as hell! Well, there nowhere to be found. I tore my room up, looking for it. Still can't find it. So get this feeling and I decide to confront the sister of the person I suspected. Sure enough, the first thing she said was "was Jane X in your room". I never mentioned any names.... She then told me, she would look around for the items and call me back if she found them....

Still NOTHING!

If you are wondering why I decided to confront the sister, we are really close, she is 20 years old and knows how her siblings are....

The mom, would have just beat the hell out of them all, without asking questions, and I did not want that.

I HAVE NO PROOF, that Jane X, stole anything...

Just a gut feeling....

and when I get these...they are normally TRUE!

It is my own fault. I am out of 500 dollars, because I have to replace it....

But, I take it as a lesson learned...

I am too trusting and to never allow anybody free reign over my house.

Sometimes, people mistake your kindness FOR WEAKNESS....

I don't know how I am going to make this up, it is only 5 days before Christmas, I DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY, but I have to make something HAPPEN!

2 of the gifts were for Jariel. My child that has a heart of Gold. And that hurts the most. He is so humble and never asks for MUCH. He's been that way his entire life and because he is so modest, I almost always get EVERYTHING he asks for. I cried my eyes out yesterday! Because, of all the people for this to happen. I would have much rathered them steal from ME. NOT, my BABIES...

This is not the first time, something has gone missing out of my house. I am kind of ashamed to even tell you how much WAS missing, before this incident.

But, I hate to think that SOMEONE, that I considered to be like a daughter to me, TO STEAL from me...that is a HURTING FEELING...

I have to chalk it up as a loss....

but I am truly devastated by this...