Aha moment...

I truly have an "aha moment" 20 times a day, but today was one of those days where I really woke up ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED. I woke up really appreciating my life. PERIOD.

I can't explain the mood I am in...

It's better than good, better than excellent, better than superb...
I just really woke up feeling GRATEFUL, HOPEFUL, LOVED, ....
Why? I am not going to question it. Just EMBRACE IT!

Being a chronic depression sufferer, these days are to be CHERISHED.

Last year, was my worst bout with depression, since being diagnosed at age 12 in the 8th grade.

A lot of people, really don't get DEPRESSION....
I have heard so many tell me "just snap out of it" or "focus on something happy" or "you have no reason to be depressed" or "you have so much to be grateful and happy for"...

They don't get that I have absolutely 'NO CONTROL' over it.

They don't get that : I just wake up some mornings, and would rather not get out of bed, shower, talk to anyone...

They don't get my: crying spells....that last for hours and I have absolutely no clue why I am crying...

They don't get me: wanting to just give up, and then the guilt I feel afterwards for thinking like that ....because I am a mother of 3, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend...

They don't get : that depression hurts, body aches, shortness of breath....
They don't get my panic attacks or my anxiety attacks...

I have to explain to people my depression all the time, and unless you are 1. Going through it yourself or 2. Psychologist or Psychiatrist. You will never fully UNDERSTAND...

Understand, what a day like this feels like to me...

I am so at peace and so content today...

My soul is smiling today....
and I thank God!

Now...
With all that being said..

I went to bed early last night and woke up early
Woke up showered, started my coffee, and fixed myself a little breakfast...

Booted up the computer and read my daily blogs:
Adrienne
BonnieRose
Ali Edwards
Vee
Noelia
Adrienne Looman
Celine Navaro
Jennifer Pebbles
Keisha Campbell
Donna Downey
Heather
Toners
Aimslee
Elsie...

and I can go on and on....

But I love to read blogs! I may not always comment, but know I stalk on a regular basis...

But through blogging, I have met so many wonderful people. People from all over the world.

People whom I have come to know and love ...
People who I respect ...

I have found so many great things and learned so much from my cyber family!
One of the things, that I have found is SIS tv, and I go this from my sister Adrienne....I signed up, but never really took the time to really look at it, but boy am i hooked. This site is awesome on so many levels. I have literally been on there all morning long. So helpful, so insightful, so inspiring. Thanks Adrienne...

Here is the link, but I am sure you guys already know about it. But for those of you who don't :
Scrap in Style TV

I love Jeanette Heardmen, she is a hoot. So reminds me of Talk Soup and she does resemble Jenni Bowlin....LOL

I looked up and it was noon! I had literally been on the site for 3 hours! So much inspiration there. So many kick ass scrapbookers!!!!

Even though I felt crappy yesterday, I managed to :

Start my first painting on canvas and it turned out so great!
I have always been a MONSTER, when it comes to drawing, but I never interpreted that through paints and so I have been contemplating this for awhile and bought a canvas, and I really loved doing it. This can be my next great hobby...

I just used to paint in my sketchbooks, never on canvas...
And guess what, my dad LOVED IT! Why does this mean anything? Well, my dad is an AWESOME ARTIST, who is very critical and very technical! For him, to like anything, he must have thought it was good! LOL

I also altered (FINALLY), the MM Love Chipboard letters. Not done, but it look damn good the way it is...I just want to add the perfect picture and some bling, bling and I am done....

Also, painted and started to alter a clipboard I had sitting around, that is like one of my favorite things to alter.....LOL simple, easy, and versatile....LOL

So I did get CREATIVE throught the CRAMPS.....LOL

I didn't even touch Jaree's album, because I really don't know how to end it.... I am kind of stuck...LOL The last bit of advice, was to PRAY daily....

So far I have :
Be yourself
Don't be afraid
Always be a lady
Be silly
Be kind
Smile
Pray...

But, in this you are beautiful album I have to pages of just written advice and just emphasized the one's that were really important to me...

Now I have to sum it all up I guess and tie everything together. I still have quite a few pages left, I am thinking I want to leave them blank to add more pics as she get's older or maybe rip them out and end the book already....because it is sooooo BULKED OUT....

This book is literally bursting at the seems....I am so not a FLAT SCRAPPER...lol

And I still have tons of journaling left....so I am just frustrated with that whole project....LOL

Now I am planning 4 new ones....

Bonnie and Clyde album for Jariel and Jaree
People, Places, and things I love: for that ATC holder I bought a few months back
Jariel's Heart of Gold album
and You make my sould smile " the album I just thought of today, while in bed this morning...

I get these ideas.....and It just takes me forever to get started on them...

I think I OVERTHINK it too much and I plan it..
Because I want it to be Perfect! KWIM?

I think I am just going to jump right in, head first ...
No holds bar ....no inhibitions....

Just do it! Right?

We'll see...

I am interested in knowing what you guys are working on, or what plans for projects you have, doesn't have to be scrapbook related either....

Just post it back to my blog .....

I love looking...

Just call me VOYEUR DANA......lol

Until next time..

P.s : Adrienne if you are reading this, I posted a long post for Old School Friday this morning at 7am, maybe youtube will get it here by Easter......LOL