Yoooohooo anybody there...

It's been ages since I last blogged....
So much has changed in my life.....
I am still having a hard time dealing with the death of my daddy...
That has really taken a tole on me....
Things are just not the same...
I look at life differently.....

It's just NOT EASY at all!!!!!

Never in a million years did I ever think I would be blogging about the death of my father. Just seems unreal!

May 6th marked the 11 month anniversary of his death...
Can't believe we are coming upon 1 year...

His death is still FRESH .....doesn't seem that long....
I am still grieving! I am still hurting...
My kids are hurting...
My mom is hurting....It's just HARD!

I was over my mom's house the other day and I saw something out of the corner of my eye, and then I heard my father call my name....it made me feel SOME KIND OF WAY....
I turned to look and he was not there...

I still call his voicemail on his phone...I leave him a message until I have clogged the mailbox....

His phone will be shut off soon, I just hate that, not being able to listen to his voice...

My mom is so lonely.....even with B there, because he is young and has a life of his own, in college, 2 jobs.......He's not there enough.....
and she sometimes mentions meeting other men.....AND I GET ENRAGED, but that is so selfish of me...

I don't expect my mom to be alone....but I don't think any man will ever fill my dad's shoes!

I still have crying fits, bits of rage, and days where I don't even get out of the bed, but thank God, I have a husband who is supportive and knows what I need.....

I don't want this to be a sad post, so I will end it on that note.....

to everyone please keep me and my family in your prayers....
this is harder than anything I have ever had to deal with