Monday, May 28, 2012


Lately, I have taken a break from social networking, I am JUST OVERWHELMED.  As you know my brother came to live with my mother in September of last year, well it was nothing but DRAMA since the day he moved in.  And to make a long story short, he STOLE so much shit from my mama, it was ridiculous, it all came to ahead about 3 weeks ago when me and sister physically put him and his family out of my mom's house.  MY MOM IS DEVASTATED! and because she's hurt, it affects OUR LIVES TOO, that being me and my sister.  I am the closest to my mom (area wise) and so I sometimes, feel like I am taking care of two households.  I go and clean, cook, water flowers, my boys take care of the yard, and jaree takes care of her dog.  My sister helps often too! As much as she can, she has a demanding job, and she lives in the city.  I am closest to my mom, so I do the most! I am not complaining, but somedays I can barely lift my feet.  I AM SO TIRED yall! BUT, I feel like it's my only parent, so I have to help take care of her.  My mom literally does NOTHING for herself, accept bathe, pay her bills, and shop! Her HOUSE would be on HOARDERS, if it was not for me, my sister, and our kids! My dad did most of the cleaning and cooking, my mom is NOT A LAZY person, but my dad was just a take charge man. 

Lately, I have been doing more in my mom's house than my own.  My house is a wreck, because I am always at her house doing something and I am just too exhausted to fix the problem. Tomorrow, I'm not answering my phone, I'm just going to clean my house from sun up to sun down.  I don't know what to do, but it's really taking a tole on me.  I did this before, I took care of my grandmother until she passed from Alzheimer's in 96, me more than anyone else, because I was home more, my parents worked, my siblings worked, and MY MOM'S OTHER SIBLING DIDN'T HELP DO SHIT!  So, I guess I have taken on the role of caretaker. But, I'm TIRED....physically and mentally! I'm JUST DRAINED!

My sister knows that, and she has really been helping out a lot! But, still most of the burden is on me! Let me not say BURDEN, because my mom is no burden.  I thank God, she can take care of her self! She is just depressed and I think it's taken a tole on her.  Losing your soul mate isn't easy!

Plus, my mom DRAINS ME....she is always talking about the shit my brother did to her.  All the time! All she does is cry! and I have to pray very HARD NOT TO HATE MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE AND HIS KIDS, because they allllllllllll FUCKED MY MOM OVER!  They stole atleat 10K worth of stuff from my mom! and everyday we find more shit that's missing! It's just TOO MUCH!

BUT, just listening to that everyday is driving me crazy! I know my mom needs to vent, but it really gets on my nerves sometimes! I JUST DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE! We can't change what he did! IT'S DONE! We know now, that he can't be trusted! That he obviously has a bad drug addiction.  The only thing we can do is to never allow him near our mom again, until he seeks treatment! and his wife is NEVER WELCOME!

I am just so exhausted physically and mentally, and to be honest that is why I was hospitalized 6 days in April......PURE STRESS AND EXHAUSTION!

I CAN'T CONTINUE on ......
somethings got to give......

I don't do drama well, it affects me PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY....

I need, at least for my mental health, to always be in a calm state of mind.....
because I can SNAP OUT JUST LIKE THAT......

and I don't want to...

So, I'm just going to tell my mom, I need a break....and hope she understands!

That is all!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Having the time of my life.....,

Hello Blog world,

I just want to say I have been having the time of my life! I had a wonderful MOther's Day! Finally Got my ipad and my sewing machine and sad to say, both of them are still in the box, but I have been so busy with the kids, I haven't had a chance to do anything!

I have been kinda MIA lately! I just have been doing things with my family, the most important people in my life.  When you start to social network, you tend to lose focus on what's important! I spent my life tweeting and on facebook...and began to stop doing things that I normally did, like create art, write in my journal, exercise, bake for the hell of it, scrapbook, paint, dabble in mixed media art, create jewerly....I just didn't BALANCE WELL....I didn't BALANCE AT ALL.... and I have found that my home life is much better and so am I.  Nothing against social networking, but I had to balance things out for my own life.

In other news, I have been a CRAFTING FOOL...3 paintings! 2 complete smash books, 1 semi complete mini album, 3 mixed media art projects in process, 7 art journal entries, a lot of reading, made a cheesecake, brownies, and banana cream pie, and a lot of walking with the hubs!

I have also been going to church and getting into my word.  I find that when I start and end my day with God, my day runs smoothly! It's just a joy that I cannot explain.  After my dad died, I went to a dark place in my life.  Did a lot of SHAMEFUL things, but I am glad I recognized the problem and wanted to do better with myself.  That is all I am going to say about that!

Kids are ALL DOING GREAT! I couldn't be more proud!
Hubs is doing GREAT!
MOM finally KICKED MY BROTHER much has happened that I ashamed to even talk about, but if my brother does not get his life in order, he WILL SURELY GO TO HELL!

She kicked his butt out Monday....and although I feel sorry for him, what he did to my mom was horrendous!

What else! Oh, I am thinking about going back to school in the Fall....I have 18 hours to get my Master's in Counseling Psychology so I think I should get that piece of paper! It's one of the things my dad said I NEEDED to do.

Oh, and I went to Archivers the other day and completely lost my mind.....WHO SPENDS $374 AT ARCHIVERS? Me! Baptiste didn't say a word he just handed over the credit card! Then my dumb butt went to Hobby Lobby and Michaels the NEXT DAY...spent 74 at Hobby Lobby and $87 at Michaels! then I went to Old Time Pottery and spent another $45 for stuff for my scrapbook room! LOL I blame my mom for it ALL!

Then Baptiste treated the kid to a little summer shopping spree and Jaree went HELLO KITTY CRAZY! LOL  That child loves her some HELLO KITTY! LOL

Jariel is getting at that age where he's getting picky! We went to 6 stores looking for some Air Max gym shoes and he still didn't get anything, so we are taking him back today! When did this child become so picky? LOL

I went into Charming Charlie and LOST MY MIND.....I am a jewelry, purse, shoe.....FREAK! I bought a new purse, a new pair of shoes (not from charming charlie), and A LOT OF jewelry! More than I planned to!

I need to hurry up and figure out this 3 strand bead concept so I can make my own jewelry! Then I will be all goood-t! 

Today, I have to go to DISCOVERY with Jaree! I hate that place as much as I hate CLAIRES! and I went there yesterday too!  And we have to take Jariel to DTLR To get shoes and Old Navy to finish up his shopping, that boy LOVES CARGO SHORTS! LOL 

We went to Texas Roadhouse yesterday and had a nice dinner with the family! Had my nephews Aaron and Marion with us! Baptiste treated everybody! And didn't buy him self a thing! He was very patient and bought everyone what they wanted! I love that man! God sent me a good man! He gets on my nerves sometimes, but I am sure I get on his too! But for the MOST PART, he is darn near perfect! He goes above and beyond for his family and we started this thing at a young age, so I give the man his props! Love him to death!

Well, I have rambled enough...

Until next time...