Overwhelmed!

Lately, I have taken a break from social networking, I am JUST OVERWHELMED.  As you know my brother came to live with my mother in September of last year, well it was nothing but DRAMA since the day he moved in.  And to make a long story short, he STOLE so much shit from my mama, it was ridiculous, it all came to ahead about 3 weeks ago when me and sister physically put him and his family out of my mom's house.  MY MOM IS DEVASTATED! and because she's hurt, it affects OUR LIVES TOO, that being me and my sister.  I am the closest to my mom (area wise) and so I sometimes, feel like I am taking care of two households.  I go and clean, cook, water flowers, my boys take care of the yard, and jaree takes care of her dog.  My sister helps often too! As much as she can, she has a demanding job, and she lives in the city.  I am closest to my mom, so I do the most! I am not complaining, but somedays I can barely lift my feet.  I AM SO TIRED yall! BUT, I feel like it's my only parent, so I have to help take care of her.  My mom literally does NOTHING for herself, accept bathe, pay her bills, and shop! Her HOUSE would be on HOARDERS, if it was not for me, my sister, and our kids! My dad did most of the cleaning and cooking, my mom is NOT A LAZY person, but my dad was just a take charge man. 

Lately, I have been doing more in my mom's house than my own.  My house is a wreck, because I am always at her house doing something and I am just too exhausted to fix the problem. Tomorrow, I'm not answering my phone, I'm just going to clean my house from sun up to sun down.  I don't know what to do, but it's really taking a tole on me.  I did this before, I took care of my grandmother until she passed from Alzheimer's in 96, me more than anyone else, because I was home more, my parents worked, my siblings worked, and MY MOM'S OTHER SIBLING DIDN'T HELP DO SHIT!  So, I guess I have taken on the role of caretaker. But, I'm TIRED....physically and mentally! I'm JUST DRAINED!

My sister knows that, and she has really been helping out a lot! But, still most of the burden is on me! Let me not say BURDEN, because my mom is no burden.  I thank God, she can take care of her self! She is just depressed and I think it's taken a tole on her.  Losing your soul mate isn't easy!

Plus, my mom DRAINS ME....she is always talking about the shit my brother did to her.  All the time! All she does is cry! and I have to pray very HARD NOT TO HATE MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE AND HIS KIDS, because they allllllllllll FUCKED MY MOM OVER!  They stole atleat 10K worth of stuff from my mom! and everyday we find more shit that's missing! It's just TOO MUCH!

BUT, just listening to that everyday is driving me crazy! I know my mom needs to vent, but it really gets on my nerves sometimes! I JUST DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE! We can't change what he did! IT'S DONE! We know now, that he can't be trusted! That he obviously has a bad drug addiction.  The only thing we can do is to never allow him near our mom again, until he seeks treatment! and his wife is NEVER WELCOME!

I am just so exhausted physically and mentally, and to be honest that is why I was hospitalized 6 days in April......PURE STRESS AND EXHAUSTION!

I CAN'T CONTINUE on ......
somethings got to give......

I just NEED A BREAK FROM ALL OF THE DRAMA....
I don't do drama well, it affects me PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY....

I need, at least for my mental health, to always be in a calm state of mind.....
because I can SNAP OUT JUST LIKE THAT......

and I don't want to...

So, I'm just going to tell my mom, I need a break....and hope she understands!


That is all!