I have been doing a lot of thinking....a lot of soul searching lately.....and my life at 37 is NOT THE LIFE I, IMAGINED FOR MYSELF. Don't get me wrong, I have a great life, but I did not see myself being where I am....
I have, for so many years, ALLOWED MY FEARS, to get in the way of my DREAMS....
right now....I should be A DANCER......I danced from the age of 3 until my I got pregnant at the age of 17......I never put on my tap shoes AGAIN from that day! NOR MY TOE SLIPPERS!
right now I should have MY OWN BUSINESS....but I allowed people to tell me IT WOULD NOT WORK, and it would be A FOOLISH INVESTMENT.....
there are so many things that I could have at LEAST tried to do ........but my fear of FAILURE....is bigger than my DREAMS....
My fear of failure is CRIPPLING ME...
I can't allow that any more....
I said, that this would be the year that I STEP OUT ON FAITH....and If I fail...SO BE IT....
AND IF I FAIL, I WILL NOT STOP ....I WILL KEEP TRYING.....
I don't like to reveal what i feel are my WEAKNESSES TO OTHERS....
I feel like then, they have the ammunition to HURT ME!
FOR YEARS I HAVE BUILT WALLS AROUND MY HEART, because people have hurt me both physically and mentally in my past!
I don't let just anyone in.....
and NOBODY will EVER know anything about me, that I feel you can use to hurt me...
But when I was talking to my pastor, he said, don't build walls.....he said "BUILD BRIDGES", bridges to elevate, overcome, and move forward.....
PROFOUND WORDS....
I have let my past DICTATE my future and I didn't even realize it....
THAT STOPS NOW....
I am already in the process of changing a lot of these things....
and I can't lie, I am still SCARED OF FAILURE...and I don't know how things will turn out....
but at least, I will KNOW what it's like TO AT LEAST TRY....
THANKS FOR ALLOWING ME TO BE REAL FOR A MOMENT....
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