with losing my DAD!
OMG.......I loved my dad more than YOU CAN IMAGINE...
we were soooooooooooooo close!
Even though I know my dad loved all his kids....I was DUBBED HIS FAVORITE! His baby! I know that to be a fact! Don't tell my other siblings!
When I say there WASN'T ANYTHING that my DAD WOULD NOT DO FOR ME....
I MEAN JUST THAT....
I could ask my dad to DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR ME...He may fuss or even cuss me out, BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE HE DID IT....
I WAS THE BIGGEST DADDY'S GIRL EVER....
My mom couldn't stand it sometimes....because if she SAID NO.....daddy said YES!
Daddy would even let me got outside when mama put me on punishment, but he would say, you better get your ass back in here before she get home from work, if NOT, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.....LOL
It was nothing for me to call my daddy and say I want some pepper steak and have him come home from work and cook it for me....
or say daddy let's go out to eat.....or daddy take me to breakfast,
My daddy was my world.........
Even when I got married, I would STILL CALL MY DADDY to do everything for me...and like always he would cuss me out and then come over and do whatever it is I asked him....
I will never forget when I was 19 it was a HUGE snow storm and I was coming home from school and I was so scared...white out conditions on the road....I WAS PETRIFIED...I had to pull over and call somebody....and that somebody was my daddy. I was HYSTERICAL, CRYING, I said "Daddy it's so bad out here, I don't know what to do, I'm scared" and he left work to come and get me. He brought his friend so that he could drive my car and my dad would drive me home. I was so HAPPY TO SEE THE BIG OLE GREY TRUCK...... He hugged me and kissed me and said "It's alright baby, daddy is here now". I remember being so happy, but I felt so bad, because my dad had to come all the way from the city to get me!
but that is how my dad was....
he would do anything for me....
My other siblings knew that too, and that is why they would send me to ask my daddy to do stuff, because they said he NEVER TOLD ME NO......
I see so much of my dad in me....
His feisty ways....
His low tolerance for bullshit....
His sarcasm....
His swag....
Oh I am definitely my daddy's child....
June 6, 2010 was the HARDEST DAY IN MY LIFE.....
You don't know how bad I just wanted to give up...just shrivel up and die......throw in the towel..
I have spent many nights in my bed........
especially that initial first week................
I really was a zombie.....
My family was really worried......
Then I remember having a fight with my room, I went crazy, throwing shit every where....jumping and kicking in my bed screaming I want my daddy...yeah I lost it....
and then there are those moments I just smile when I think about him....
but my heart will never be healed.....it will never be whole and I miss my daddy more than any one word in the English dictionary can describe...
My life is NOW AND FOREVER CHANGED......
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1 comment:
I haven't lost a parent but I've lost many close people to me. The pain doesn't go away but it will ease over time. Your dad is always around you and near you. you were his world. ((hugs))
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