Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Calling on the saints

There is a quote by Rienholdt Niebuhr better known as the Serenity Prayer, that I keep in mind and it goes:

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I Cannot change…
Courage to change the things I can ...
And Wisdom to know the difference…

Lately there has been so much drama unfolding in my life. It almost seems that there is one thing after another... YOu know...when it rains, it pours! I, sometimes let things affect that should not. I give people and situations too much Power over me... and what I mean by that is I get angry, hurt, disenchanted, all over things that are beyond my control. I cannot control people or situations that I encounter in life, however I can change how I deal!

I am about to share with you some things that I don't talk about often. I suffer from Depression! I have since I was in the 8th grade. There were some things that happened in my childhood and teenage years that I really should have sought out couseling for, but I kept it hidden until I had a mental breakdown, at the age of 13. I am not going to go into that situation, but I endured some terrible things in my past. Nothing with my immediate family.... but with a family member. I didn't know how to handle what was going on and I shutdown. I was admitted to the hospital in the psychiatric ward, for 41 days of more hell. I was released, I learned how to tell the pscychologists, nurses, etc... what they wanted to hear. I was on Haldol and Melarin and soon stop taking them, because I didn't like the way they made me feel. When I got out, I was still the same inside, but kept it hidden. Then I found God! I got saved at the age of 13! God was the only doctor, nurse, psychologist, therapist, etc... I needed! Fast forward to today, I still suffer from it, but I turn to God. I can feel it when it comes on, like a heavy wait on my chest and a dark cloud that hovers over me.

That is why I decided to major in Psychology and Mental Health. The mind is a wonderful and precious thing! But what the books don't teach you is that you have a self healing ability, that God gave to all of us.... I often meditate and pray. I will myself well. I am still human, and things can have their way of getting to you, but I always drop to my knees and go to God the father.

I, said all of that to say this: There is nothing that you are going through that our Father can't fix. He is the beginning and the end. HE is alpha and omega. He is all knowing! He is wonderful and glorious. Sometimes you have to GO THRU to get THRU. He won't close a door without opening up a window. No matter what you are going thru, continue to praise him and remember how truly blessed you are....BECAUSE their are zillions of people far worse off than you are... just be THANKFUL and remeber to keep him FIRST! The rest will follow. Walk and talk with his name! Pray without ceasing! and remember DELAYED does not MEAN DENIED. Alot of time we want a quick fix, sometimes God will take the long way instead of the shortcut...LOL

After reading my dear friend Bonnie's blog today, it made me breakdown and cry. It made me realized how truly blessed we are .... OUr lives could be so much worse.

No this house isn't going the way I want it too, but everything happens for a reason. I wanted to move out before Christmas and have our first Christmas in the new house, but if the Good Lord is willing, I will have that Christmas, it might not be in 06, but it will be in 07. I just had my mind set on being there ....but it's not the way it worked out! I just gotta wait, another week...

turns out the broker who did the loan, license expired......I CALL BS! however, this is what I am being told. However, he faxed everything over, but no one wants to do anything over the holidays...so basically I am s.o.l until after Christmas...

Everything that is worth something ....is worth waiting for .....RIGHT!

I gotta a little winded. Something about the Lord just fires me up everytime and I am compelled to speak on it....

Until next time....

11 comments:

adrienne said...

Sooo sorry, btu what a fantastic post!

Emily said...

Dana, It was so strong of you to share this. I'm so very sorry to hear about your house. This is such a bad time for these things to be happening. Good luck and thank you for the uplifting post!

Jamillah said...

You hold on to his hand. I hate to hear about your home hardship becuase I am going to try to go that direction in 007. Your truth about your depression is really forthcoming. I suffered from depression but wasn't medicated. I was suicidal at 16, but I found God and was baptized. I still have bouts of depression but I go to a therapist every week. I believe that true; things happen for a reason. But you have to pray and that HE will see you through. Wishing you and yours a happy holiday season. You have family, friends, and your health. Indeed you are truely love and highly favored.

Peace

BonnieRose said...

why is my life that bad?

Christine said...

Oooh want to give you a big internet hug. I feel you on the house situation. Just went through some house trama myself recently. No fun at all. But in end not only did God show up.... HE SHOWED OUT!!!! And we ended up with a better place than the one we thought we were going to get.

Cheryl Wray said...

Wonderful post, Dana!! You are such a strong woman--what an inspiration you can be with your battle with depression and your other challenges from your past. I know you have helped so many people because of your experiences!
Over the years, I have learned the same thing as you have. Through divorce, and serious illnesses, and uncertainty--the only thing that gets us is through is Christ! Thank God He is there for me everyday!!!
I also have had some negative moments during the holidays--wanting everything to be just right, wishing I had more to give, but we must feel blessed because of God's love and for everything we do have!
Have a wonderful day!!

Brown English Muffin said...

I am coming back to read your blog but I wanted to let you know that I finally made the chirstmas gifts for my daughters day care!!

See here!

Gina said...

Hold fast to the spirit, Dana! The owner cannot keep on procrastinating and you stay positive. Beautiful and expressive post!

Chit Chat From Divagirlrn said...

First, Dana thanks for sharing this! I think we're really twins lost at birth because I suffer from depression too! God has really helped me battle depression and it's a daily struggle! Your post has been a blessing to me!

I pray that all the dramam in your life with disappear and that you and your family have a Merry Christmas and a Blessed 2007!

Rolana

Cynta said...

wow...I dont' know you from Adam but we are expericening the same exact thing regarding the house...DELAYED but NOT DENIED so much the truth regarding the house..Thanks for sharing you encouraged me!!! God is definitley the one control of our lives!! thanks again!
Cynta

Brown English Muffin said...

You know what...this post deserves my truely lived by saying...

"EVERYTHING happens for a reason but sometimes God doesn't let us know his reasoning".