Missing my boo!

Baptiste is away for job training, 20 business days!  he comes home on the weekend, but since we have been together, we have never been apart this long! its so boring and lonely without my boo! Only 7 more business days to go!
thank god for oovoo! that is how i get by!


PRAY FOR ME Y'ALL!

IN SHOCK...

 I remember when Whitney Houston first came out......I was in grammar school! I remember singing "Greatest Love of All" for our 6th grade graduation! I mimicked Whitney! Singing in my hairbrush or the broom, I looooooooooooved her, like she was family!

IT JUST UPSETS ME, that people only REMEMBER THE BAD things when YOU DIE....
what about all the GOOD THINGS....
her accomplishments....

WHO GIVES A RATS BEHIND about her addiction....
WHAT ABOUT THE WOMAN SHE WAS INSIDE.....the woman we all fell in love with....
I saw past all the BULL GARBAGE....the GIRL HAD PIPES....and she has been with me since I was a child....
Of all her songs.....YOU GIVE GOOD LOVE IS MY FAVORITE.....man, I remember singing this like  A GROWN WOMAN, swinging my hips and my hair......and trying to do THE CHURCH MOUTH TREMBLE when I sang....LOL  I know y'all know what the CHURCH MOUTH TREMBLE IS???????


My heart goes out to her mom, her daughter and BOBBY TOO! Contrary to POPULAR OPINION, Bobby loved him some WHITNEY.....and WHITNEY LOVED HER SOME BOBBY...and when you share a child and share that many years together, you gotta know that man is CRUSHED! That is the mother of his CHILD....a woman he spent YEARSSSSSSSSSSS with....He is HURT TOO!

Here's my where were you when you got the news Whitney Houston died MOMENT?:

I was at my mom's! Jariel was having a VALENTINE'S get together and my mom has a HUGE BASEMENT, so I was supervising! My cousin Mara, came over and said "GIRL, YOU KNOW WHITNEY MUTHA********** A** checked up outta here" DON'T ASK, everybody has that one ghetto ass cousin! I said "QUIT PLAYING"  She said "I'm serious as a HEART ATTACK".  I had left my phone at home on accident, so I ran and got my IPAD....GOOGLED IT....and at that time, my mom was screaming from THE FAMILY ROOM...."Danaaaaaaaaaaaa, somebody KILLED WHITNEY HOUSTON" Now, I don't care how somebody REALLY DIED, my mama is always going to say they were KILLED. LOL  I came in and it was breaking news on I believe FOX....

I had to excuse myself....because I was FLOORED......
I FELT THE SAME WAY when Michael Jackson died.......

Gone way too soon!
And yesterday when Jennifer Hudson sang that tribute.....I lost it!

where were you and how did you get the news Whitney Houston died?

I am going to leave you with my favorite Whitney song and Jennifer Hudson's amazing performance on the GRAMMY'S!

UNTIL NEXT TIME

My mind has been in a FOG

I have noticed that since my dad passed, my focus and attention span is very short! Honestly, since my dad got really ill, my brain hasn't functioned at it's NORMAL capacity! I think it's something I definitely need to address! I have been reading the same book for a month and I am only on page 46....THIS IS NOT ME! I read TWILIGHT IN ONE DAY....and that's over 600 pages!

I don't know if it's grief or what, but I don't ENGAGE in A LOT OF THE THINGS I ENJOY! Like baking, scrap booking, painting, writing, art journaling, altered arts, and much more! I mean, I have been doing these things, but not in the capacity for which I used to!

I guess, I lost my STEAM, MY SWAG, MY MOJO.....
the only thing I want to do is MAKE JEWELRY AND ORGANIZE......

I don't think I have really sat down and tried a new recipe, because I just don't want to be bothered with it!
I do feel I need to snap out of it, but I don't know what to do! kwim?

The loss of a parent, especially one that you are CLOSE WITH... it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst ENEMY!

SERIOUSLY!

I AM SUFFERING FROM A BROKEN HEART!
I just don't talk about it much anymore....

I think it's time I face these issues had on, and maybe it's time for a little counseling, because it has become obvious, I can do it on my own!

I am at a loss...and it's not only taking a tole on me, but EVERYONE that I am around! Especially Baptiste and the KIDS....

and I realize LIFE GOES ON .....BUT.....without my DAD.....IT'S  UNBEARABLE...

BUT, i have to go on, because I am a mother and a wife.....and I need to put my BEST FOOT FORWARD for my family!

WITH THAT BEING SAID, I have decided that I will speak with a PSYCHIATRIST, because I obviously need the help!

I start next week....two days a week for the first month....and then I will be reassessed! I do not want ANY MEDICATIONS....I am AGAINST THAT!

BUT, I will talk ....and try to get everything off my chest as best as I can.

My doctor, wanted to subscribe XANAX, but it's NOT THAT SERIOUS!

I do NOT need to be DRUGGED to get thru this, I just need somebody that I can talk to other than Baptiste and Jesus.....



Other than that, I have been fine! Kids are all doing good! Baptiste is doing well! Mom is still GRIEVING....but she's getting stronger! My brother and I are doing a little better! His kids are improving! My sister is wonderful, doing a lot of international travel with her job, and her kids are great too! pets great too! LOL 

I am the one that is in a little bit of trouble....and I thought it was time that I addressed it!

Well that is all...
Until next time...

BACK TO THE BASICS...

I look at some of these children this day and age, and I seriously want to CRY...
THEN ...
I WANT TO GO GET A SWITCH OFF THE TREE AND DO A DRIVE BY ON SOME OF THESE BAD ASS KIDS!
I was in Stracks minding my own business and this little girl all of 14 years old, said very openly and LOUD "I NEED SOME DICK ASAP"!  

I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT.......
I gave her the dirtiest look ever and I almost hit this child in her mouth, because it was PLAIN DISRESPECTFUL...of not only the adults and elderly people around her, BUT MAINLY OF HERSELF!

If that is what you are doing at 14, IT'S NOT CUTE.....and YOU NEED TO KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF!

As a teen, I WAS DEFINITELY not an ANGEL! But, I had respect for my elders and myself!
I carried myself LIKE A LADY, because if I DID NOT, there was SUDDEN DEATH waiting for me at home!

But, I WANTED to carry myself like a lady! I demanded my RESPECT! I didn't allow the boys to feel all on me .....NO FREE FEELS HERE...
I DIDN'T ALLOW BOYS TO TALK TO ME ANY TYPE OF WAY....
and I got the UTMOST respect in high school!

My parents taught to RESPECT MYSELF..and then OTHER PEOPLE WILL RESPECT YOU TOO..
My mom taught me the importance of acting like a lady at all times!

You NEVER CAUGHT ME CUSSING LIKE A SAILOR IN FRONT OF ADULTS..
did I cuss amongst my peers, HELL YEAH....but in an ADULTS PRESENCE, NOPE!

THE WORLD IS SO DIFFERENT NOW...
PEOPLE ARE MORE CAUGHT UP IN BEING THEIR CHILD'S FRIEND THAN THEIR PARENT!

I am A PARENT!
When you get GROWN, we can BE FRIENDS! but right now, I am THE ENFORCER!
NO CHILD WILL EVER RUN ME OR MY HOUSE!

and ....I was A TEEN MOM!
I HAD MY FIRST CHILD AT THE AGE OF 18!
HE IS NOT MY FRIEND....HE IS MY CHILD....He will be 20 in November of this year and I STILL DEMAND MY DAMN RESPECT!

HE tries to tell me he is grown now, but DUDE, GROWN means YOU HAVE YOUR OWN....when you still need me to do shit for you, YOU ARE NOT GROWN!

NOW, am I saying I have PERFECT KIDS....not by a long shot!
My kids HAVE THEIR WAYS....each of them do...
but never will I have a child sit up in my face and CURSE...
NEVER WILL i have a child ARGUE WITH ME .....not WHEN I FEED YOUR ASS EVERYDAY!
NEVER WILL I HAVE A CHILD HIT ME...YOU WILL DIE THAT DAY! DEFINITELY...
Never will I have a child sit up and talk about SEX openly or allow them to do it in my house!

I WILL NOT BE YOUR FRIEND! I AM GOING TO BE YOUR MOM!
I STILL THINK OLD SCHOOL IS THE BEST WAY....
and I will get a belt or a switch in a minute....JUDGE ME!
I BELIEVE CHILDREN SHOULD HELP AROUND THE HOUSE! You DO YOUR PART in my house!
I am feeding you everyday and YOU CAN'T WASH A DISH? I don't think so!

I just feel sorry for some of these kids because they don't have a CLUE!
DISCIPLINE is a way of LIFE...
RULES ARE PUT IN PLACE EVERY WHERE...
Work, School, Law, Government, even SOCIAL NETWORKS...
and you will follow the RULES of my house, UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN...

if you don't...

THERE WILLLLLLLLLL BE CONSEQUENCES!

I am all for having fun with your kids! WE HAVE A BALL IN THE BROOKS HOUSEHOLD, but their is a difference in having fun and BEING YOUR CHILD'S FRIEND!

THAT IS ALL....

BLATANT DISRESPECT!!!!

I WAS OUTRAGED WHEN I SAW THIS, BUT NOT SURPRISED! GOVERNOR BREWERS NEEDS HER ASS KICKED FOR THIS!  But, Republicans are GREAT AT POINTING THE FINGER and this is PHYSICAL PROOF of that! I AM SO SICK of the BLATANT DISREGARD OF OUR COUNTRIES PRESIDENT! The media does not even address him as PRESIDENT OBAMA, they refer to him as MR. OBAMA! I don't recall Dubya being called Mr. Bush or President Clinton being called Mr. Clinton!  It's just BLATANT!!!! and I am sick of it! This man is DOING THE ABSOLUTE BEST HE CAN, he is BUSTING HIS ASS, and he doesn't get any FREAKING CREDIT.  Jan Brewers was WAY OUT OF LINE!  AND THE SECRET SERVICE SHOULD HAVE TACKLED HER ASS! That was a threatening motion! YOU DON'T STICK YOUR FINGER IN A GROWN MAN'S FACE! But, this is NOT SHOCKING TO ME....

Some things never changed! He is STILL A BLACK MAN....we have made GREAT STRIDES in this country, WE HAVE CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH, but the WORLD only SEE'S IN BLACK AND WHITE, which is sad in this day and age!

I am OUTDONE!

Letting go is hard....

Letting go....TWO WORDS ....SOUNDS EASY, but it is very hard...
Whether you are letting go of a person, a place, or even a thing....it can be very hard!

When my dad got ill, it was a shock... and before we could even get over the shock....HE DIED.  My dad was diagnosed with cancer January 6th and he DIED June 6th....HE DIED 6 MONTHS TO THE DATE of his DIAGNOSIS!




 My father died, but in a lot of ways I WAS DEAD TOO! I was DEAD IN MY SPIRIT! I was DEFEATED, because I thought my dad was INVINCIBLE! I really did! I really didn't even get a chance to prepare myself, because the whole CANCER THING was a SHOCK...and my mom had colon cancer and SHE BEAT IT! my mom was NO MATCH for my dad, so I just thought just maybe, he would beat this thing! HE HAD A QUADRUPLE BYPASS, and was walking the NEXT FREAKING DAY!  so......why couldn't he beat cancer?

I am still coping with this, but I learned in order for my dad to be at peace, I needed to let him go....
Absence from the body, means presence with the Lord, and he can't be in ANY BETTER HANDS THAN THOSE...

Now does that mean, I still don't cry or I don't miss my father....NO! JUST, means I am coping a little better and I NOW have peace in his death, that I didn't before....
Moving right along..

I was diagnosed last May with diabetes, I WAS DEVASTATED! This was like a DEATH SENTENCE for me, but I HAD TO LET SOME THINGS GO....It was either that or DEATH....which is what I was heading for with UNREGULATED blood sugars on the high end of 487 and dropping low as 39.  I had to learn that MODERATION for me, was the key and EXERCISE.  I like to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it!  BUT THAT, WAS NOT WORKING FOR DANA.... so I had to start measuring portions, with cups and half cups AND I AM NOT GOING TO LIE, i hated it AT FIRST, but with time, I am now used to it! I lost over 35 MUCH NEEDED pounds, and I am still going for more! 

I am NOW off medication and regulating with taking bsl daily, exercising only 3 times a week, and diet!  and  I bet you are wondering if I cheat, YES, all the time, DO I FEEL GUILTY, nope not one bit, BUT DO I go back at it again, YES I DO, and that is what matters, NOT GIVING UP, even when you have weak moments!

I had to let go of my PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS OF FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS:
When I love a person, whether it's my friend, family, husband, I LOVE WITH MY ALL....meaning, there is NOTHING that I would not do for that person! I am a VERY GIVING person, if you NEED IT, I GOT YOU....I am a PROTECTIVE PERSON, if you hurt the people i love YOU HURT ME, and I will protect them by any means necessary!  I am a OPEN MINDED PERSON, I am not judgemental!  I am a very HONEST person, so I will not SUGAR COAT anything for you....and I am ME.....ALL DAY EVERYDAY.....
but in saying that...

I CANNOT EXPECT EVERYBODY TO BE LIKE ME...
that is my DEFENSE ON EVERYTHING, how could you do this to me, when I would never in a million years do this to you?  I made this statement at least a million times in my life!

I cannot change people, I cannot save people, the only person in the equation that I can change or save IS DANA...and I had to learn that the hard way...

So, in 2012 if YOU DO NOT MEAN ME ANY GOOD, and I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE ....I had TO LET IT GO....


Why? because things effect me a little differently? Things affect my sleep, my stomach, my mind, I have headaches, I worry, and I am the only person LOSING SLEEP AND GETTING SICK! For what? When that person or persons is sleeping like a baby every night!

So, I LEARNED to remove myself and MOVE AROUND...
Sounds EASY ENOUGH, but it really isn't especially when it's FAMILY!

BUT, NOW that I have learned to LET GO....my life is so much easier! Seriously!
I breathe a little easier, I sleep better, my health is better....and I am so serious!

Some people say I have a "I don't give a fuck attitude", well, that's not it....I just don't allow myself TO GET HURT anymore!  Did you read that right? I said, I DON'T ALLOW MYSELF TO GET HURT anymore!  I can only CONTROL ME, and for a very short while my KIDS, because they will all become grown and be their own person(s). ....but,  just learned that I cannot expect everybody to do the things I do...go the distance I go....I am WHO I AM, and they are WHO THEY ARE ...and if they don't mean me ANY GOOD, or they ARE NOT GOOD FOR ME, I just let them go! AND....it was not easy, but I feel much better now that I did!

Yes, Letting Go is hard, but sometimes it is what needs to be done, in order to better your life!!!!!

funny story to share

yesterday it started snowing very heavy...

the kids look outside to see how heavy it was snowing...

jariel started to talk about a snow day and how cool it would be to have one..

jaree started crying because she didn't want to miss school...

now at first I thought this was a joke..
BUT..

when I looked at her face I realize she was serious..

her nose was red as a beet..

it took everything in me not to laugh in her face...

WHAT CHILD IN AMERICA, WOULDN'T WANT A SNOW DAY?

MY CHILD!

she loves school!
THIS KID WATCHED THE NEWS UNTIL 10:30 LAST NIGHT. and.....SHE WOKE UP AT 5:30 and started looking for school closures..

When she didn't see our district she was ecstatic...

Look at her face, compared to Jari's.....jariel was pissed!

gotta love these kids..
they are all different! lol

i guess that is why jaree has been on high honor roll since Kindegarten....and reads at a college level....

you know..

my baby who defied all odds from surviving a seizure that lasted over an hour....the one that they said would be brain dead, or severely brain damaged....the one that was in a coma for days, the one that i was told would,never walk or talk again, yeah her! God is good isn't he?

welp, thought i would share that...

until next time!

I FEEL LIKE A TON OF BRICKS ARE SITTING ON MY CHEST...

MANY of you may know that I suffer from DEPRESSION!

I was diagnosed at the age of 13. I kept having all these crying spells and not knowing why. I would sleep all the time and I didn't engage with anyone in my family....

BASICALLY, I JUST SHUT DOWN....

I spent 41 days in a pediatric psychiatric unit in Christ hospital!

No one could get me to come around! The first 21 days i was in PSYCHIATRIC ICU.  I wasn't talking to anyone.  I didn't trust anybody.

I never felt so alone!
After 21 days, i was moved to 4 south, i was around children with eating disorders, sexually promiscuous girls, suicidal children, children who self mutilated, and started fires.  I did not fit in!

My pastor at the time Reverend John H. Burke started to visit me.  At first, he would,pray for me and give me bible verses to remember, so that we could discuss at our next visit. 

Then, he told me to seek God, for myself, and it would be there that i would find,peace.. 

At 13, i found God..

i started to open up and in a matter of days i was released from what i felt was hell! 

i had a strong desire to be Baptized and i was so into the word...

over the years..
i lost my way!

When my dad passed, i was so angry...
when my nephew Pierre died 3 Weeks later, i felt God turned his back on me.....but really i turned my back on him..

well, just a week ago, an old familiar feeling came over me...
Depression...

One day, i started crying and i couldnt stop! i was unconsolable! my hands were sweaty! i couldnt concentrate on anything! i started to shake.. 

I had a Nervous breakdown!
i was going to check myself in the hospital.

but then a funny thing happened..

i heard a beep on my phone, i assumed it was a text, but it was a notification from an app i downloaded called the Daily bible.  i picked it up and it read: 

1:1 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; 2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. 1 Psalm 1-2

i read this about 10 times before it clicked!

I have been going through so much, issues with my children, issues in my marriage, health issues, issues with my siblings, trying to take care of two households, mine and my mothers, still grieving my dad...dealing with crazy folk...i just couldn't do it!  

i needed help, and i called on Jesus! and,he answered me!

He didn't forsake me after all...
it was me!

i had to let a lot of things go...
i had to let a lot of people go...

and i will never turn my back on God again, because its evident he didn't turn his back on me.

whew..I am going to end this now because i am so emotional right now!

Getting organized!

My motto for 2012...less is best! Getting rid of the clutter, starting with my craft studio! Here are there before pics.... After pics coming later.

It's New Year's Eve already....

Wow....
I can't believe another year has come and gone! Time really flies.....
I remember New Year's Eve of 2010, I had lost my father June of that year and I was so ready to see 2010 go.... that was such a BAD YEAR year for me! In January we found out my dad had lung cancer, in fact January 6th, so the year started off BAD....and then 6 months to the DAY....he died on June 6th! That whole ordeal was A NIGHTMARE! I was so scared!!!! I was heartbroken!!!! I was angry with GOD! I was ANGRY WITH EVERY BODY! and then I was numb....

Fast forward to 2011, I am still a little angry....I miss my dad so much sometimes, I can hardly breathe! Until you have been in my shoes, you can't possibly imagine how I feel! I wouldn't wish this on my GREATEST ENEMY! My heart still aches! I still feel a void in my life. My dad and I were very close! I was dubbed THE FAVORITE, but I know my dad loved all of his KIDS! I WAS JUST HIS BABY GIRL!

I still wake up sometimes and reach for my phone to call him....it's almost been two years!

Gahhhh!
anyway....
Moving on...

2011 had it's ups and it's downs!
Baptiste got LAID OFF....but thank God, we have a A SAVINGS ACCOUNT!
He got a MUCH better god as a Manager for Walmart, less responsibilities and MORE MONEY!
WHO CAN BEAT THAT?

I had a DIABETES SCARE this year!
I went to the doctor for a mass under my arm...mentioned how much I had been urinating every 5 minutes...I initially thought, I may have gotten pregnant, but soon found out my BSL was 487. I was devastated! I lost over 30lbs, I had really put on the pounds in the last couple of years! So I started changing my diet and exercising....after just 3 months I was TOTALLY OFF MY MEDS. I believe I prayed my diabetes away.....I was a praying sister! I was TERRIFIED! and I slip off my diet sometimes, but I always go back!

I, really don't talk about my personal life, but the last two years have been trying for my marriage! I love Baptiste, with all my heart, BUT, he has TRUST ISSUES! LOL It stems from his own upbringing! I told him he needed to work on that, and that's all I am going to say!!!!

I, also, this year created a SIDE HUSTLE for myself! That has brought some income in the house! I have always created everyone's resume in the family and some of my friends. Baptiste came to me, and said he had a friend on his job, that wanted me to create a resume and cover letter for me and he was willing to pay $100 ....I jumped on board and HE GOT THE JOB! From then on, 4 other of his family members had me create resumes for them! ALL 4 of them got the job! I'm not saying that my resume, got the job, their skills SPEAK volumes! But, it did help! Toot Toot! So, I have been creating resumes for people! I am in the process of going a little bigger, Baptiste and my sister Tracy are my biggest supporters! I love them both so much!


2011, is the year I saw a lot of change in my children....some things good, some things bad....

My oldest B, has really matured! He is a manager for Sonic and he also works part time for Walgreens. He is in college. We helped him get his first car, and MY MOM PAID IT OFF! He is doing very well and I am so proud of him. He is very generous too! He looks out for both of his siblings. Even tries to slide me cash, but I do NOT take money from my children! I am FINE!

However, I worry about him, he works a lot of hours, he goes to school, he teaches dance, and I am afraid he is going to burn himself out! He just made 19. He basically has 3 jobs and goes to school! He is so much like his DAD, it's pathetic! LOL

JARIEL, my baby boy, really matured as well! His GRADES are really impressive THIS YEAR, as opposed to last year! He has really taking the initiative to give it his absolute best! He is trying to get a scholarship, to go to the college of his choice. He is already guaranteed a sports scholarship, but he says he wants the GRADES to go with it, HE IS TRYING TO GET A FULL RIDE, to college. His coaches for wrestling, football, baseball, and track have really worked with him, and helped tremendously! Jariel went from a C average to almost an A Average! I am so proud of this kid!

However, he gave me the BIGGEST SCARE of my life this year, he came home complaining of chest pains and before I could get my shoes on, he started screaming and clutching his chest! I was in TEARSSSSSS, SCREAMING, CRYING, and so was Jaree! I HIT 100 in my pajamas, scarf, and house shoes to the hospital. I didn't have time to get dressed, nor did I CARE! I thought my child was having a heart attack. He already has a heart murmur and chronic bronchial asthma! but, my doctor always encouraged to let him do anything, WITH IN REASON, that he wants and he is VERY ATHLETIC....turns out Jariel caught an extreme CASE OF STAPH INFECTION, from unsanitary wrestling mats from his school! It had got so bad, that it infected the lining of his heart which caused the heart attack like symptoms! I was LIVID....

to add INSULT to injury....HIS GRADES suffered, I had so many problems with his school, but when i went up there and WENT ANGRY BLACK WOMAN ON THAT ASS, every thing was handled. I tried to be nice , prim, and proper at first, that didn't work! I had to get IGNANT! and then I got results.....LOL

but, JARIEL, has changed for the worse too....HIS ATTITUDE SUCKS...he mouths off like he doesn't know who his PARENTS ARE....Just in case you didn't no, I DON'T PLAY WITH KIDS, especially my own. I will fugg a kid up on site *in my Bernie mac voice*. LOL And I had to get him a couple of times this year....I guess he is at that age, where he is feeling himself, I went through that with B, and I had to show him as well, who the PARENT was....LOL


Jaree, has really matured as well, NO FIGHTS THIS YEAR! That is the biggest improvement! Jaree is not a bully, BUT, SHE WON'T LET ANYONE PUSH HER AROUND! and this year, no arguments, AND NO FIGHTS! Jaree's grades are always Good, she has been on the honor roll since Kindergarten, nothing has changed there! She is smart as a whip.....BUT SO IS HER MOUTH! I had to SQUAD UP, a few days after Christmas and really kick her butt! She likes to challenge me more than any other child I have! She is so MUCH like me, that we bump heads! I definitely got my PAY BACK, with her! LOL


My biggest concern of the year is MY MOM AND HER HEALTH! My brother moved in on September 1st, and my mom's life has been in TURMOIL ever since! I kinda feel guilty, because I am the one who talked my mom into letting him stay there. It was only supposed to be 2 months, and it will be 4 months tomorrow! My brother and his family are DEFINITELY A BURDEN on my mom, her bills doubled, no one pays her a dime, THEY DON'T EVEN BUY TOILET PAPER, things have gone missing, my mom is always arguing with my brother, and I am just scared she is going to have a stroke, because all she does is yell, scream, argue or cry! I had a BIG argument with my brother and his wife, I let them know, that if ANYTHING happens to my mom, I am COMING FOR BOTH OF THEM....I DON'T PLAY ABOUT MY MOTHER ......
and my sister is RIGHT ON BOARD! In fact, she's the ENFORCER, she is CRAZIER than I am, and that says A LOT...

ME: this year has been really hard for me....in fact, it has been more hard for me this year, than last year in regards to my dad's death! I GUESS, last year was just a SHOCK...this year is A REALITY that he is gone. I am still grieving and it's hard!

This year we had two tragic deaths: The death of my cousin Tamiko and my little cousin Dominique. Tamiko had an abnormality in her heart that went undetected, and she died at the age of 27. Dominique was struck and killed by a woman who was texting while driving. She was just 3 weeks shy of her 2nd birthday!
this is the year of HATERS for me! I am used to people hating on me! BUT, THIS YEAR, it was ridiculous! I am the MOST DOWN TO EARTH person you would ever meet, I am so cool, I can get along with anyone, but WOMEN AND MEN hate on me all the time. but, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, and I don't know why? I always, get NEGATIVITY, DIRTY LOOKS, OR PEOPLE WHO TALK BEHIND MY BACK! But, what THEY don't realize is, I FEED OFF OF THAT, it just makes me happier! IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME ONE BIT, because I know who and WHAT i am, and your opinions of me, DON'T MEAN SHIT! LOL I AM JUST, glad, my mother and father instilled that in me from a child, because all the HATE i received this year, IF I WAS A WEAK PERSON, i'd be ready to kill myself! AND MOST OF IT WAS FROM FAMILY.....
SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? LOL People don't like the fact that I live comfortable, that I have a husband that adores me and OUR 3 children, that we do things as a family, that I basically get any and everything I want, but I DO NOT HAVE A JOB....this JUST BURNS MY IN LAWS UP! my husband isn't SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING for me.....according to them? Folks is crazy! But I just smile and pray for them fools! LOL BUT....MOVING RIGHT ALONG...

We've also had some good things to happen, my dad's parents left he and his siblings, some land in Mississippi, and they think it's oil on the land. I got my first payment of $485, if they find oil on the land, it can be worth so much more! I am crossing my finger and toes! LOL

I, also won $1,800 this year at the casino! I went once this year and one once this year! LOL I AM NOT a big gambler! But, I always seem to win! LOL

I won $600 on a $2 7/11/21 scratch off....

This has been my LUCKY YEAR....LOL

I have fell back in love with reading this year....I really wasn't reading, since my dad passed, didn't have the mind for it! Didn't have the mind for anything really, but I am back at it full swing! Reading 32 candles as a recommendation by my little sister Sam!!!! LOL

Any good book recommendations? Feel free to comment!

What else, oh....I AM SCRAPBOOKING FULL SWING, well, I should say SMASHBOOKING....I have fell in love with the whole smash book idea! I will have to devote an entire post on that!
But, it's so much fun!

Last but not least, I have fell in love with God again....when I lost my father, I was really in A DARK PLACE, I did a whole bunch of things I am NOT PROUD OF....I lost my way....but towards the end of this year, something happened to me, and I just fell to my knees....and I just started PRAYING....and GOD, restored me!!!!! I will never turn my back on God again, he never turned his back on me, and accepted me with open arms! and that's MY TESTIMONY!


WHAT ARE MY GOALS FOR 2012:
To focus on DANA.......

i have really lost myself in the midst of being a MOTHER, A WIFE, A DAUGHTER, A SISTER, A FRIEND.....

I really NEGLECTED ME....
and I am NOT doing that in 2012

This year is ALL ABOUT ME...not in a selfish way, but a taking care of DANA WAY....
starting first is my HEALTH...

I am really going to eat healthy (which I have been doing anyway, since the diabetes scare)
I am going to workout 4 times a week....
pray and meditate DAILY.......
AND PAMPER MYSELF MORE....
get focused on my business.....to earn extra income for myself and my family....
and CUT a lot of NEGATIVE PEOPLE FROM MY LIFE...even if its FAMILY..


I am going to take AT LEAST one trip BY MYSELF A YEAR.....
GET MORE INTO MY HOBBIES.....

just taking more time for ME, ME, ME!!!!



What are some of your goals this year?

Well that is all, didn't mean for this post to be so long, but I guess I had a lot to say...LOL

with that being said, I love you all, have a HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR...
AND


UNTIL NEXT TIME.....

It's New Year

Out of the mouth of babes

So, My baby girl Jaree and I were having a conversation about Christmas? And she said, "do you ever think Jesus gets angry because people have made both his holidays about something else?" I asked her what she meant and she said "Well Christmas is the day that Jesus Christ was born, and they make it all about SANTA AND PRESENTS.. Then Easter is day that Jesus rose from the dead, but they made it all about the Easter Bunny, Easter baskets, and Easter Egg Hunts, if I was Jesus, i would be mad, because all of the attention was not on him, when it should be"


I STOOD THERE with my MOUTH HANGING WIDE OPEN! My daughter is 12, this is really the first year that she doesn't believe in Santa! My kids believed in Santa, but knew all about Jesus and the reason for the season.

But, I sat there and I thought about IT.....she was so RIGHT! and on POINT!

FURTHER MORE....My cousin made this post on Facebook today:

Santa comes but once a year Santa fills your stockings with goodies Santa comes down your chimney uninvited then enters your heart. You have to stand in line to see Santa name. Santa lets you sit on his lap
Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, What's your name?" Not only does Jesus know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads. Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly All Santa can offer is HO HO HO Santa says "You better not cry" JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you. Santa's little helpers make toys, WHILE JESUS Repairs broken homes and builds mansions. Remember why we truly celebrate Christmas!

I would like to add to that:
Santa may make you chuckle and fill your tree with gifts, but Jesus gave us the GIFT OF ETERNAL LIFE, MERCY, AND GOOD GRACES.

SANTA rides a sleight, Jesus walks on water! He knows our names, he's always with us, he's our healing , help and hope so much more then fake that comes only once a year!



It's obvious there is really no comparison. We need to remember WHO and WHAT Christmas is all about. We need to put Christ back in Christmas!


Darn shame, they want to call CHRISTmas trees....HOLIDAY TREES
CHRISTmas Parties.........HOLIDAY PARTIES...
They want to separate Jesus from everything, BUT NOT IN THE BROOKS HOUSEHOLD, we know the reason for the Season and IT'S JESUS CHRIST, OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR!

I AM NOT ONE TO PUSH MY PERSONAL BELIEFS on anyone else, if you practice some other type of faith, no offense to you! But, I don't apologize for PRAISING GOD! Not now, not ever! I never want to hear these words on Judgment day "Depart from thee, I never knew you"

With that being said,
have a safe and wonderful CHRISTmas!

Craziness and Insanity

Have you ever had a day that just kept getting progressively getting worse and worse....

Well that was me yesterday!

First, I got a call from my mom, saying that all the money in one of her checking accounts was missing, and my mom has had fraud done on her before and I just cringed! Turns out, mom wasn't paying close attention to her account and that she was over doing it a bit! Kind of worries me because Alzheimer's Disease runs in our family! My grandmother, her twin brother, another one of her brother's and her sister all have been diagnosed! And my mom, is starting to do things to make me raise my eyebrows!


The second thing that happened is that Baptiste and I got into a huge argument yesterday, HE PISSED ME OFF SO BAD, until I wanted to just SMACK HIM! SERIOUSLY! So, I just left and went shopping......WITH MY MOM OF ALL PEOPLE.....

While I am shopping with my mom shopping, B (my oldest son) calls me upset, saying that my brother was talking about him and his sister, as well as mom LIKE a dog! AND things that were said, HAD TO BE SAID, because there is NO WAY OF the person knowing if THEY WEREN'T SAID.....hope that made sense! However, I don't play about my kids, he talked about B and Jaree like a dog, and if you don't like my kids.....FUCK YOU! And that's in black and white! I don't LOVE ANYONE ON THIS EARTH, better than I do MY OWN KIDS! Are you insane? Did you think that would fly with me? So I have NO USE FOR HIM OR HIS RAGGEDY MOUTH WIFE! And I was going to get his kids something for Christmas, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THEY WEREN'T GIVING MY KIDS SHIT! but I am not even doing that! HE PISSED ME OFF, just that bad!

While I am on the phone with B, his boss calls, and he accidentally made it a conference call! She says "Jacques (B's gubment name) I understand you were in my drawer today, and I can't have that, if we are short, I am HOLDING YOU ACCOUNTABLE, and I want you to fully understand that" So B said "Well is the drawer short" she said "no" and he said "well check the drawer, if it's short, then call me back and we'll go from there, but I don't understand why you are calling me if you haven't even checked the drawer" He told her he needed change, and the other manager was being a butthole and not getting it for him, so he's a manager himself and he got the change! He made her look so stupid, AND JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, she wasn't short! But that pissed me off, took everything in me not to get involved in that! He's 19, very much a man, but he's still my baby! LOL

Then, I check my email and it's Jariel's chemistry teacher, telling me that Jariel is not showing interest in her class, and that he has work missing from the 17th to 23rd.....and I thought to myself, is SHE INSANE, Jariel was in the hospital during that time! I spoke to the counselors at that school and they told me that Jariel would have ample time to complete the work, He just went back to school last Monday! That pissed me off so bad! Where was the communication, I did my job as a parent, I contacted the school, I spoke to his counselor, I put in a homework request, and I am helping my child complete it! Why wasn't this relayed to the teacher????? So you know where I will be bright and early on Monday!


Then I come home and by now my temperature is BOILING.....and I see a white car in my drive way! I am thinking who is this? It was my cousin Lattaniah, at this point, I don't want to be bothered! Plus, I hate when people show up to my house UNINVITED....I think it's RUDE! But, once I got in, I ended up having a great time.....

but, then ....MY MOM CALLED....and said that there were police cars everywhere, with a bunch of ambulances, and while we were on the phone, I heard 3 big booms, like GUNSHOTS, I was scared to death and so was Lattaniah!!! She ended up staying here all night!

We had a murder/kidnapping just on Monday, where I live and the same day someone broke in B's car and stole his wallet, his ipod touch, and his girlfriend's purse!!!! So, I hope this isn't a sign that it's getting bad in Lynwoood. This is a quiet city for the most part, but this has really unnerved me! and it doesn't help that Baptiste works nights now....4 days on....4 days off! Just scary! So keep our family lifted and covered in the blood!

Love you all....
Until next time

This is the first time ever....

THAT I AM DONE WITH MAJORITY OF MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BEFORE DECEMBER 1ST!

This year I wasn't really feeling it, if I am being honest!
Most of my Christmas shopping was done ONLINE! Which is so UNLIKE ME! I love being out in the hustle and bustle. I am just in a funk! I think it's harder for me this year, than last year not having my dad. If you can believe that!

I did get a little HAPPY when I went in KMART and TARGET, I was looking at all the Christmas Decorations and they had the Christmas music playing, so I felt happy about that!

I am completely done with my children! Which feels strange! I have reached their budgets, but I get the urge to go out and get them more every now and again! LOL

they always have a great Christmas THANK GOD!!!!!! For blessing us with the means to be able to indulge our kids in SOME of their wants! So many are less fortunate!

I STILL HAVE TO VENTURE OUT TO THE MALL....for Gift cards! Ughhhh!
My niece Aaliyah loves Forever 21
My nephew Aaron loves Hollister
My brothers kids are getting gift cards too, just don't know where?
I do believe I am getting my nephew Nas a Toys R Us gift card, he's 7!
The girls maybe CLAIRES....
My mom's gift is ordered!

and that's all! Baptiste and I don't exchange gifts until NEW YEARS! It's our little traditon! It's like having Christmas all over again!

But of course he wants a projection machine for video dj'ing! NERD! LOL
ALREADY ORDERED!

BUT, I wonder what he got me! I had 3 things on my list! I'm almost sure he didn't get one of those things, but I think he may have got me 2 gifts! He's been acting really strange, which means he has hidden it somewhere! but I won't peak! I like to be surprised! LOL

Again, for me it FEELS odd being done this early! I almost feel like I have NOTHING TO DO! LOL

I am not going to get the gift cards until next week! Then maybe I will experience a little HUSTLE AND BUSTLE....

Are you done with your Christmas Shopping? Have you even started? LOL

Oh and I already got MY SECRET SANTA PARTNERS PRESENT, gonna mail it this weekend! wohoooooooo! I hope she likes it, but I think I know her style! So I think she will love it!

Well that's all I have! I am trying to get back into this blogging thing!
but twitter, pinterest, and tumblr are DISTRACTIONS!!!! LOL

UNTIL NEXT TIME....

What's on your Christmas List???

I have been a good girl (for the most part) and I think Santa should consider some of these gifts for Christmas this year! I have been wanting a new camera from quite some time and I have my eye on this camera right here! It's a Cannon Rebel T3i. I want to venture out into the DSLR instead of my high end Point and Shoot with Manual capabilities!


The next thing on my list is the Epson SP 1400 Photo Printer! It can print up to 13 x44! Perfect for scrapbooking!!!!!






I know you are thinking why does she have two cameras on her Christmas list.....welll let me explain below...
I have become really huge on smash books and mini books (Scrapbooking) which calls for smaller scale pictures! The pictures come out the size of a credit card with white thick border at bottom to write notes! How ingenious! And it's INSTANT! How freaking cool is that! and look at the design on that bad boy! Sleek and sexy!!!

I would be happy with either of these for Christmas! But if I get all 3, it would be the Best Christmas ever! LOL

Somebody email this to Santa for me! LOL
Welp, that's all for me! What's on your Christmas list this year?

Welp...

This Thanksgiving was NICE, but HARD...
I think I had more of a hard time this year, that I did last not having my father here...

I had a big crying spell....couldn't seem to stop....
Had to excuse myself, a couple of times...

Also, it's the first Thanksgiving in I don't know how many years, that my husband and I did NOT get to spend together, because he was sleep, because he had to be at work at 7pm after getting off at 9am! So he slept in.....

I worked my butt off....

As you can imagine, my mom had a rough time! So I basically cooked for two houses!

We ate our selves into oblivion.....

I didn't take many pictures this time around because i was so freaking tired.....

I did capture a few of the kids....but that was from my phone and not my camera!
Which is basically, how I have been taking pics lately....lmao!
What can I say, I have an excellent camera on my phone....

I did the CRAZY...and went Black Friday shopping as USUAL....

BUT, BEST BUY WAS SO DANG ORGANIZED, it was worth it! I was in and OUT in 20 minutes, bought the Kinect and a few games for the kids....Then we just wanted to see how chaotic walmart was...and IT WAS INSANE! We just walked around and walked out. We went to Target and I got Jaree's white ipod touch and accessories for it...We were done black Friday shopping by 2am! We sat down and enjoyed some Starbucks....and headed home! i was in by 3am!

I slept for most of the day on Friday....LIKE IT WAS A SHAME HOW MUCH I SLEPT!
But I tirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreddddddddddddddddddddddddd!

I slept most of Saturday too!

Hopefully things get back to normal, but I am still just getting caught up on rest for staying in the hospital with Jariel for 5days .....

By the way, Jariel is DOING GREAT! Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes!

Welp, that's all I have....

Wait, I am also 85 percent done with my Christmas shopping! Jariel's Samsung Galaxy Tablet is being shipped as we speak....

All I have to do is get Jaree a digital camera, set up an appointment to get B's remote start installed, go to Forever 21, Hollister, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Gilly Hicks to pick up gift cards for the kids and my nieces and nephews! That's easy!

This is the first time I am done this early! Normally I am out in the HUSTLE AND BUSTLE....because I LOVE IT! But, this year, I wasn't feeling like it! Most of my gifts were ordered and shipped to me....LOL

I am putting up the TREE TODAY...well, I will say this...The decorations are out of the attic....and in my living room! That's a start! LOL

Well, that is all for REAL THIS TIME....
UNTIL NEXT TIME....

One of the scariest things...

is something happening to your child and you have no control over it!
Thursday, Jariel was rushed to the hospital for chest pains and pain in his shoulder and arm! I was at my computer tuning in to 12kyle radio and all of a sudden I heard Jariel say OHHHHHHH, then he said OHHHHHHHHHHH again, and to be honest I thought he was just acting silly, so I turned around and he was face down on my bed clenching his chest with tears in his eyes....WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SCARED TO DEATH, i mean it, instead of calling the ambulance, i got in the car and hit 100 all the way to the ER! I blew through stop lights and stops signs and thank God we made it to the hospital in one piece!

They immediately too him to back! The hooked him up to all kinds of machines and I WAS HYSTERICAL....I totally lost it!!!! I THOUGHT MY CHILD WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK....I felt so HELPLESS.....I was by myself me and Jaree for about 5 minutes before my mom Got there! Jaree was crying hysterically and so was I!!!! He was short of breath, it was TOTAL CHAOS! THEN A CALM CAME OVER ME, I didn't want Jariel to feed off of my energy so I shook the tears off and kept telling him he was ok!

Turns out Jariel has a SEVERE CASE OF CELLULITIS! I am upset about this too, because it seems it came from dirty mats from Wrestling! Jariel got a scratch, no bigger than a mosquito bite and it got severely infected! So much so that he has inflammation around his heart lining, which caused this severe pain in his chest!!!

He is now in the hospital and has to get intense IV antibiotics! We probably won't be released until Monday, because he has to get 3 or 4 doses every 12 hours!

He has been in so much pain and I HATE SEEING MY BABY SUFFER!

I have only felt this way a few other times, the first time Jaree had a seizure, when Jaree almost died in 2006 from a grand mal seizure, and when Baptiste cousin panicked and almost drowned Jariel at the beach!!!!

That is the WORST FEELING in the world!!!!!!!!!

Please keep Jariel in your prayers!!!!!! This has not been easy on any of us!

R.I.P HEAVY D

I WAS FLOORED when i heard the news that Heavy D passed yesterday! I honestly was in disbelief! I had just seen him on the Hip Hop Award on BET and he KILT (YES I SAID KILT) IT!!!! I loved Heavy D! We got our own Thang still gets HEAVY ROTATION on my iPOD!

He was a HIP HOP ICON! and we will truly be missed!

Hello, my name is Dana and I am addicted to Pinterest!

Ever since I was introduced to Pinterest, I have been a pinning fool! Anything from recipes to scrapbook ideas, from fashion to make up ideas, from diy projects to quotes, you can find it on pinterest!!!!

Here are some of my favorite pins:











If you have NOT got your self a PINTEREST account, I do NOT know what you are doing with your life? LOL

Run, run fast and open a pinterest account and start pinning!

Warning, it is very, very, very, very, very addicting! But so much fun!!!!!

Helllloooooooo, can anyone hear me...

I don't know why it is so hard for me to stay consistent with this blog thing! But here we go....

For those of you who may or may not know, Baptiste recently started working overnight! This is so hard for me! I miss him so much! I mean in our 13 years of marriage, this is his first time working the night shift! and I HATE IT!

I AM SCARY AS HELL! So needless to say, I am up all night because I think I am hearing things!

Jaree camps in my room now! SO IT'S NOT SO BAD! Except the fact, that she sleeps so damn bad! Ughhhh!

Jariel just finished up football, I am kinda sad! I loved spending my Friday evenings cheering my baby on! They finished first in their conference! did I tell you that a scout from Ohio State University was looking at my baby! More on that later!!!!!!

Jaree is in basketball and babbbbbbbbbbbby, my baby has to learn SPORTMANSHIP, anybody that fouls her, she is ready to kick their ass! SHE IS ONE TOUGH COOKIE! Lawwwwwwwd! PRAY FOR HER PLEASE! I did tell you that a little girl pushed her when they line up and shake hands and Jaree DEBO smacked the hell out of her! All the way down to the ground and told the little girl "Don't get back up" What am I going to do with this child?

B's birthday is November 2nd. Can yall believe my baby is going to be 19 years old! Where does the time go????????? He thinks he is SO GROWN TOO! I have to put him back in his place and give him a reality check on several occasions! I'm still YOUR MAMA DAMMIT!

Last blog, I told you how my brother and his family moved in with my mama! Well, they have been begging my son for money! When I found that out! I had to contain myself!!!!!!!! I went over there and told them, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT ASK MY 18 YEAR OLD SON FOR SHIT! He works hard for his money, I suggest you do the same! I DO NOT PLAY WHEN IT COMES TO MY BABIES!!!!!! NOT AT ALL!

I am a giving person, and I teach my children to be too, but I also tell them NEVER LET ANYBODY USE THEM, and my brother, his wife, and their daughter ARE USERS!!!!!!!

Jaree is getting on my damn nerves! She tells me what she wants for Christmas every single day! What does she think? I have Alzheimers or something! Ugh just ugh! and can we get past Halloween first pleasee!!

I am medicine free! I have been off Metaformin since July! My bsl are being maintained by exercise! Diet NOT SO MUCH! I got to do better! But I haven't had a bsl over 120!

I love Fall, it is my favorite season, but man, it's like we went straight into winter, it's been cold as ever!!!!! Great snuggling weather, but Baptiste works night, and I have no one to snuggle with! *cries*

Well, that's all I have....

Until next time...