Thursday, November 08, 2007

I hate feeling like this....

As you know I suffer from clinical depression. I was diagnosed with it in the eight grade. I have been to all kinds of psychiatrists and psychologists, for this. MOstly thru my early to late teens. At one time, I was on medication, but didn't like the way the make me feel.

Yesterday was really bad for me. A lot of crying spells. I basically laid in bed most of the day. I just feel like I have a noose on my neck, kwim? Well, if you don't have depression, you won't know.

My dh is the best, I feel so bad for him and the kids. I guess they can tell when I am having a bout, because they avoid me like the plague. Everyone, but Jaree. She clings to me more. She laid in bed with me all day. Got tons of kisses and back rubs. The boys just come and say "mom are you alright" every 20 minutes....LOL

This year has just been a bad year for me. I have had more bouts this year, than I ever have in my adult years. Alot of people make the mistake of thinking all people with depression are SUICIDAL, that is not always the case. At one point, I was, never any attempts. Not any in my adult years. No feelings of hopelessness at all. I overheard, my mil asking my dh, on the phone yesterday, she said " YOu don't think she would do anything to herself do you?". I guess that's wishful thinking on her part...LOL Just kidding! But no. It's just that I am in a funk.... It's a struggle just to do the essentials. I am feeling far more better than yesterday, no crying spells...just feeling kind of blah.

Hope it will pass soon...

On a lighter note, Today is Thursday and I am sooooo looking forward to watching SUPERNATURAL...

Not much planned, just trying to make it through the day!

Until next time

7 comments:

Adrienne said...

Girl you take care of yourself!!!! You are in my prayers!

Gina (frazzledmom) said...

Hey Dana - sending you lots of positive vibes to help you get through this! You have such a great DH and amazing kids. Love how they support you. :)

Thomisia said...

I kind of know how you feel. I've been going through something similar for a little while now (although I haven't been diagnosed with anything). I'm just hoping it will pass eventually. I'll be thinking of you while I pray for myself too. Hang in there.

Chit Chat With Divagirlrn said...

Sending you good thoughts and prayers girl! You know I have depression too, so I know how you feel. Hang in there anda take care of yourself and know that I'm here for you. You can email me if you ever want to talk to someone who deals with depression too.

MNScrapbookmom said...

Thinking of you... :) ¥

BonnieRose said...

u know i love ya.. hugs, i am praying.. i am praying.. xoxoo

Brown English Muffin said...

I hope you feel better.