Friday, January 20, 2006

Thoughts shared before hitting the sheets

As my day nears a close, I have been contemplating many things...
One thing is how am I going to a better person in 2006. What can I do to live a better life?
For starters, I have been keeping a journal of things that make me feel good, things that make me feel bad, people who I feel great around, People who make me feel inhibited, things that comfort me and things that make me feel comfortable. I have to take this initiative,t o take a honest look at certain aspects of my life. I am not getting any younger. I am 31 years old and I owe it to myself to delve deep inside of me and make some changes. One of things I have been doing was taking responsibility for me....I am the only person responsible for my own happiness. No one else. I cannot change people to my liking...I can only change how I, Myself, will react or for lack there of...not reacting, by removing myself from potentially destructive relationships and behaviors.

I, in the past, have been toooo trusting and have been burned many times as an end result. I am the type of person, that is willing to take the shirt off my back for my fellow men. Many people have mistook my niceness for naivity and weakness. I have opened my heart and home to many undeserving people, but I have always been a trusting person, and try to give every one the benefit of the doubt. Frankly, that shit, does not work. I hate to shut certain people out of my life, but I cannot continue on being used and abused. Hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me...

I am going to live for me and my family.... and keep the friends who are positive and movign in the same direction I am...Idon't have time for drama in my life. I have a husband for

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be a uptight witch, but I will keep my guard up and feel my self out first.

Until next time
Peace, Love, and Hair grease

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