Christmas just ain't Christmas....

without the ones you loveee!!!! It's not just a song for me! as you know this will be my first Christmas without my dad. This will be the years of many firsts! First Fourth of July, his birthday, Thanksgiving.....and now Christmas. I have ACTUALLY been doing pretty well. I don't cry as MUCH! But the closer I get to Christmas I cringe........ My dad played such a big role in my life. Hearing his voice Christmas morning, or having him come over to help me build the toys, or having him hide the toys and smuggle them over..... hearing him sing Christmas carols. Just so many that I am going to miss...

It just seems like a bad dream still....

I don't know if I have truly accepted he's gone yet! Because I keep expecting him to call me or walk through the doors....

If I could only receive one Christmas present for the rest of my life....

It would be to have my dad....WRAPPED IN A BOW AND ALLLLLL......

I love him so much and I miss him more than words can express....

Keep us in your prayers....

This Christmas will be very hard for me.....

You think u know me....

.....sometimes I feel like I am invisible.....people SEE me, but they don't really see me!

...I am misunderstood.......

I have been told all my life how beautiful I am on the outside.....AND FOR THE FIRST PART OF MY LIFE....I thought I could get by on my looks....I thought I WAS THE SHIT....seriously! I shit on a lot of people around me and was mean......and cold sometimes!

but what really people didn't know, was that I was hurting on the inside....I didn't feel very beautiful....

I used to BE A BITCH ......

I still am sometimes.....don't get me wrong....

but I was COLD....

...CONNIVING

AN VINDICTIVE....

but it was a reason for it all....

I have always had a TIT FOR TAT personality.....

If you HURT ME....I will ANNIHILATE YOU....

IF you punch me, I WILL KNOCK YOUR ASS OUT...

If you get me, I HAVE TO GET YOU BACK 10 TIIMES WORSE....

but that took alot of energy.....

Thank God, I am so much wiser, but still learning....

You don't have to do all that.....

Just let a PERSON GO.....

You don't have to go out of your way.....

Just let em go......

Oh when I learned to LET GO AND LET GOD........WOOOOOOOOOOO!

YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT A DIFFERENCE IT MADE IN MY LIFE........

I am still a work in progress!

I have so many people ASSUME shit about me....

Oh when I was younger.....in my early teens...people took one look at me and my body and assumed I WAS FAST....that I was OUT THERE....

Pretty girl with a banging body I had to be SCREWING EVERYBODY....

Being beautiful can be a CURSE AS WELL as a blessing!

I have always been judged.....

My teen years felt like being in a constant episode of mean girls!

I got into a lot of fights! I HAD TO PROVE MYSELF THEN...

I made a lot of examples out of bitches that's for sure....

People assumed I was soft, because I was short, pretty, and quiet.....

I tried to tell them "Not to let this pretty face fool you"

They didn't listen! God blessed me with these hands! I should have been a boxer! LOL

I can remember when I was in high school...my freshmen year, I was coming out of gym to the locker room and I got dressed to go to my other classes

5 girls grabbed me and ATTEMPTED to throw me in the showers with SCALDING HOT WATER.....WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SLINGING HEFFA'S EVERYWHERE, and I got the leader Courtney Darby so good, she is scared of me to this day!

When the deans came in to break it up, they grabbed me and though that I was on of the girls involved in jumping another girl. I told him, they were jumping me, he said it was NO WAY IN HELL, because I didn't have a scratch on me, but they were JACKED THE HELL UP! Once he figured it out, he SHOOK MY HAND, and said "Sorry this happened to you, but you sure do know how to handle yourself" Well that was for damn sure! I have 4 brothers, THEY TAUGHT ME WELL!

I soon learned that FIGHTING wasn't the way either.....

But people learned to LEAVE ME ALONE TOO!

As I got older.....and learned to leave catty women and girls alone......

My problem became people thinking that I am CONCEITED.....

I am NOT CONCEITED....I am CONFIDENT!

HELL IF I DON'T LOVE DANA.....WHO WILL!???????

i know I have flaws! But I am still beautiful on the outside and on the inside!

I don't need anybody to tell me so....

I know it!

But I am gracious and thankful when a person recognizes it!

Don't get me wrong! I love my HATERS....I have so many!!!!!!

but I don't see why people hate on me....

I am the most loving person....

I will give you the shirt off my back....

so there is no need....

I am fun! More often than not I am the life of the damn party! I will keep you laughing....that's just me!

But I am learning...that people will HATE YOU SIMPLY FOR BEING YOU....FOR BEING COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN.....

WELL BABBBBBYYYYY, You may as well kill yourself, because BITCH I'M ME!

That's it .....That's all!

I am getting back into this blogging thing....

I have been so caught up into to twitter and facebook, that I forgot my first love..... My blog....
It was thru my blog that I have met so many amazing people that I am blessed to call my friends. I have a real love for my cyber buddies...I have shed tears, shared laughs, gotten angry, over things that have happened in their lives....we have prayed for one another, cared for one another ....and it is truly amazing....we have watched each other's children grow up.....it's really a true kindred ship that I have found with some amazing women and men....

People that I would have not otherwise met, if it was not for blogging or twitter or even facebook....it's crazy because I talk about some of you like my family has known you for years....

You are truly apart of my everyday I life just as my non cyber friends are ......

I love you guys with all my heart....and I have learned a lot from each and everyone of you...

I found a love for beading....
I am learning to sew and knit....
I have got so many great recipes.....THANKS ADRIENNE AND MO....
I HAVE got so many fashion tips and make up tips....Heads up on sales...coupon alerts.....
It's just amazing.....I have gotten some pretty heartfelt advice....even some constructive criticism that made me realize some things about myself....I embrace it all. because a real friend KEEPS IT REAL......I don't want anyone to agree with me all the time...and my Road dog Kim KEEPS IT 100, SHE DON'T SUGAR COAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHE IS A RIDE OR DIE....LOVE HER TO DEATH....if I am wrong tell me, if I look like a fool, dammit say don't take your ass out like that....LOL

It is all in good fun!

You guys are an amazing....VERY DIFFERENT, bunch....no two alike and I love you all! Truly!

I am struggling......

with losing my DAD!

OMG.......I loved my dad more than YOU CAN IMAGINE...
we were soooooooooooooo close!
Even though I know my dad loved all his kids....I was DUBBED HIS FAVORITE! His baby! I know that to be a fact! Don't tell my other siblings!

When I say there WASN'T ANYTHING that my DAD WOULD NOT DO FOR ME....
I MEAN JUST THAT....

I could ask my dad to DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR ME...He may fuss or even cuss me out, BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE HE DID IT....

I WAS THE BIGGEST DADDY'S GIRL EVER....

My mom couldn't stand it sometimes....because if she SAID NO.....daddy said YES!

Daddy would even let me got outside when mama put me on punishment, but he would say, you better get your ass back in here before she get home from work, if NOT, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.....LOL

It was nothing for me to call my daddy and say I want some pepper steak and have him come home from work and cook it for me....
or say daddy let's go out to eat.....or daddy take me to breakfast,

My daddy was my world.........

Even when I got married, I would STILL CALL MY DADDY to do everything for me...and like always he would cuss me out and then come over and do whatever it is I asked him....

I will never forget when I was 19 it was a HUGE snow storm and I was coming home from school and I was so scared...white out conditions on the road....I WAS PETRIFIED...I had to pull over and call somebody....and that somebody was my daddy. I was HYSTERICAL, CRYING, I said "Daddy it's so bad out here, I don't know what to do, I'm scared" and he left work to come and get me. He brought his friend so that he could drive my car and my dad would drive me home. I was so HAPPY TO SEE THE BIG OLE GREY TRUCK...... He hugged me and kissed me and said "It's alright baby, daddy is here now". I remember being so happy, but I felt so bad, because my dad had to come all the way from the city to get me!

but that is how my dad was....

he would do anything for me....
My other siblings knew that too, and that is why they would send me to ask my daddy to do stuff, because they said he NEVER TOLD ME NO......


I see so much of my dad in me....
His feisty ways....
His low tolerance for bullshit....
His sarcasm....
His swag....

Oh I am definitely my daddy's child....

June 6, 2010 was the HARDEST DAY IN MY LIFE.....
You don't know how bad I just wanted to give up...just shrivel up and die......throw in the towel..

I have spent many nights in my bed........
especially that initial first week................
I really was a zombie.....
My family was really worried......

Then I remember having a fight with my room, I went crazy, throwing shit every where....jumping and kicking in my bed screaming I want my daddy...yeah I lost it....

and then there are those moments I just smile when I think about him....

but my heart will never be healed.....it will never be whole and I miss my daddy more than any one word in the English dictionary can describe...
My life is NOW AND FOREVER CHANGED......

I am struggling.....

This is my oldest son, Jacques Baptiste Brooks II. We call him B, short for Baptiste..... It used to be Lil' B, but he insisted at a very young age to drop that Lil off, because he was a BIG BOY....

As many of you know, I was a teenage mom. I got pregnant right at the end of my senior year in high school at 17 years old..... I managed to complete my first year of college right before I gave birth to him and I was only 18 29 days when I gave birth to this young man.

I STRUGGLED....yes I did! Not financially, because I did have the support of BAPTISTE and MY PARENTS, but I struggled RAISING a baby, going to college, and working 2, DID YOU HEAR THAT, 2 JOBS......because I didn't want ANYONE SAYING that I COULD NOT OR DID NOT TAKE CARE OF MY BABY......

I was A DETERMINED WOMAN....

I SACRIFICED AND GAVE UP A LOT ......but NOT WITH ANY REGRET....

I couldn't go out and KICK IT WITH MY FRIENDS....like I wanted too...
I couldn't be FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY FREE....I had another LIFE i had to worry about...

I GREW UP VERY FAST...
I was NEVER THE TYPE that put my baby off on ANYBODY, i took care of him myself!

Any help was VOLUNTEERED, because I didn't ask ANYBODY FOR SHIT....except for his DADDY OF COURSE.

I struggled with a lot of GUILT AND SHAME .....I was the youngest child and the first one to give birth to a child.

I was a good child for the most part. I EXCELLED IN school, graduated in the top 10 percent of my class, I was an obedient child for the most part, and i didn't give my parents too much grief, EXCEPT FOR MY MOUTH.....I had a lot of that........and so does my oldest son and my baby girl ......PAY BACK IS A MUTHA.......but getting back on track....

I was very scared and ashamed....

I held on to my pregnancy in secret for 5 months before anybody found out, except for BAPTISTE WHO WAS ECSTATIC......

I was SHOCKED.....foool how you HAPPY.......OUR PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL US!

he told his mother right away and THAT HEFFA GAVE ME A LECTURE! I didn't appreciate it, after all she is NOT MY MOTHER.....

My mom ended up telling me I was pregnant.....
and man .....my PARENTS WERE NOT HAPPY WITH ME.......ESPECIALLY MY DAD, WHO STOP SPEAKING TO ME FOR MONTHS.........

but something amazing happened.....ON MONDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1992 AT 9:14 P.M. I gave birth to a tiny little premie......WHO WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE UNTIL DECEMBER 31st......

He weighed only 6lbs 3 oz.....and he was so little and cute....head full of beautiful hair. I mean he had so much hair, my mom just knew it was a girl, but NOPE....it was a healthy baby boy....

All was right in the world....My parents were so proud and so happy of their first GRANDCHILD....

All the disappointment was WIPED AWAY AT THAT VERY MOMENT....

I gave up so much, but it was worth it........

Fast forward 18 years later.....

I am struggling with a different type of struggle......

My son no longer lives with me.....
He moved in with my mom.....

and while that is very NOBLE OF HIM....

I miss him being home....
I know that sounds selfish, but THAT'S MY CHILD....
I am not ready to let him go....

Sometimes I feel like I lost my dad and my son.....
Even though my mom only lives 5 blocks away...and I see him everyday....

It's a BIG DIFFERENCE...

I can't walk in the middle of the night and kiss him while he's sleeping ....
or wake up to him laying at the foot of my bed snoring.....

or see him fight with his siblings and then love them up the next moment....

The house is just off balance ....

because we are missing HIM......

I know it may be selfish, but I want my son HOME, but i don't know how to take him from my mom........she needs him, but so do I.......

so that is my struggle now....
Not being able to let go....

My kids are my world....and I love them dearly.....

Removing my shell.....

Warning: This is a very deep and emotional post!


One of the hardest things for me to do in life.....is TO REMOVE MY SHELL.

I am a guarded person! It's hard for me to let my guard down. It's not without good reason. It's because of many things..... I have been hurt and violated in ways that are unimaginable....

One thing that I never ever talk about ......
and I am shaking now even thinking about it is.....

Being sexually assaulted when I was 20 years old.....

I went to a party with my older cousin Tonya.....
We had been party hopping all night...

We ended up on what we call THE LOW END of the city....

I had a couple of drinks....nothing major, maybe 2 wine coolers or something and I was having a good time....

That night I thought I was the shit....I had just gotten my hair done, A symetrical bob, short on my left side, very long on the right, tapered in the back. I had on what I call the EN VOGUE dress, it was black, skin TIGHT, SHORT.............I had on the baddest peep toe pumps with a white bow in the back. I was FLAWLESS THAT NIGHT.....and I knew it.....AND SHOWED IT....
I was young and cocky....... I was getting a lot of action that night. Phone numbers were exchanged, dinner offers were made, and I knew DAMN WELL I WASN'T GONNA CALL OR GO OUT WITH ANYBODY BECAUSE I WAS ENGAGED TO BAPTISTE at the time and I had a little boy waiting for me at home.....BUT IT WAS FUN......GETTING ATTENTION........

My cousin Tonya had met up with a guy at the party and around 1:30 a.m she told me she was leaving with this guy.....and she asked me was I ok! I said yes, but I was really mad. How is this bitch gonna leave me at a party that I don't know anybody! She left and I stayed. At 2am....I noticed that the Male/female ratio in the party was off....It was more men than women and I felt a little uncomfortable.......so I called Baptiste and he didn't answer! I called my brother and he told me he was all the way up north and he could get there between a half hour to 45 minutes..... I DID NOT WANT TO WAIT THAT LONG, BECAUSE I FELT UNCOMFORTABLE......

I called my play brother Vertrell and he didn't answer... So I said FUCK IT....I am about to go to my car and drive home. I thought I was being very aware of my surroundings. When a guy walked up to me and asked me did I have any jumper cables......I felt funny, but I told him I did and began to walk over to my car, with my shoes in one hand and my keys in another. AS I got ready to stick my keys in the car to pop the trunk, a van sped up next to my car, and before I could yell, I was pulled in this van......

My clothes were ripped from my body and a knife was at my throat, and 3 men stood over me, my first instinct was to FIGHT and I did, I got the first guy right in his face, and began kicking, but it was useless against 3 guys, when I hit the floor, trying to hold on as hard as I could to my under wear, I felt the most horrible pain in my shoulder, I was being bit, by one of those animals. I still tried to fight in vain, and I was assaulted, I laid there for what felt like an eternity....During the rape, one of the men, kept saying "Let me make love to you Dana". I was HORRIFIED.....I did not know this man, I had NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER in my life seen him. He was the guy that asked me for the cables, but before then I had never seen him. I just start praying .....I knew they were going to kill me, so I prayed for it to be quick......Yes I prayed fro death.....DEATH WAS BETTER than having 3 strange men violate my body.....I couldn't take it anymore, I was JUST NUMB AND READY TO DIE.... and I think I YELLED OUT "JUST FUCKING KILL ME"......they laughed....and one said, we don't want to kill you bitch.....we just wanted to FUCK! I still prayed to die....how could I face my family after what just happened to me...

Finally, when they were done......they pulled into an alley .....and told me to RUN.......and I did just that......I toook off with, with no clothes, and ran right into the arms of a FIREMAN....I passed out......I don't know what happened in that time...i think my mind just blanked out, BUT I WOKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL, with rape crisis counselors, police detectives, and nurses and doctors everywhere.... I felt like I was being raped all over again, with some of the personal questions I was asked, the tests that had to be performed, and they 5 million shots I had to get in my ass.... When they asked me did I want to call anybody.......I didn't want to see anybody, NOT MY PARENTS, NOT MY SIBLINGS, NOT BAPTISTE, NOT anybody....

I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ASHAMED........
ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS TAKE A BATH AND CRAWL IN MY BED AND NEVER COME OUT.....

But I called my parents, my sister, and Baptiste.....

I couldn't even tell them what happened......
I told the nurses that the only way for them to come back to see me was if they DID NOT BRING UP THE INCIDENT, if they brought up, I wanted them to leave.

I didn't feel like ANSWERING ANY QUESTIONS, I didn't want to have anybody looking at me......it was crazy......

My sister got there first........ she just hugged me, kissed me on my forehead, and held my hand....My BROTHER REFUSED TO COME, BECAUSE HE WAS FURIOUS, and his friends had to calm him down, My mom came in with tears and just laid on my chest, and when Baptiste got there everybody left the room and he just looked at me for 10 minutes and didn't say anything....I wondered what he was thinking..........but he just broke down and we cried together.

This happened to me 15 years ago......AND I CAN REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS 15 MINUTES AGO....this is something that will be etched in my brain FOREVER.....

Of the 3 men.......2 were caught and are STILL IN PRISON, the 3rd fled back to Mexico from where they were all from. They had an extensive record and I don't know how they were on the streets in the first place!

Turns out the one who knew me is the one who fled...he had been stalking me, for months....AND I HAD NO CLUE........His cousin attended my college and he saw me there, and from that moment, he got it in his head to pursue me. I was so angry. How did I not know someone was stalking me. and WHY ME?????????

It's scary knowing that he is still out there, I USED TO LIVE IN FEAR, THAT HE WOULD COME BACK AND FINISH ME OFF, but now, I am READY FOR HIS ASS IF HE DECIDES TO! I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF RAPISTS OF CRAZY LOOKING, UNKEPT MEN. I would have never thought twice about this man, he was attractive, clean, shaven, I had no reason to be alarmed, but I did feel something, and I should have acted on that instinct!

I blamed myself for years ..... If I wasn't dressed like that, if I would have just stayed my dumb ass inside and waited for someone to come and get me, if I would have never talked to that strange man, if, if, if........I still struggle with that sometimes....

I still have nightmares.....I still have moments where I just can't have sex......because this is on my mind......and Baptiste has been very, very, PATIENT......

I decided just a few years ago, that I WAS NOT GOING TO BE A VICTIM, I WAS NOT GOING TO LET THIS BE MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET, THAT I WAS NOT GOING TO LET THIS DEFINE ME.......

but it was MY DECISION, i Had seen crisis counselors for years, support groups, but this was through my own self discovery that I made this decision! I just said Enough was Enough. I was imprisoned in my own mind!

I am NOT SCARED ANYMORE.....
But I AM ON HIGH ALERT WHEN I AM OUT....
this will never ever happen to me again............................I am PREPARED! and that is all I am going to say on that one. My DADDY MADE SURE OF THAT!

This really took a toll not only on me, but MY DAD AND MY BROTHER......my brother really felt it was his fault, because I called him. My dad, felt like he failed as a father because he didn't protect me. Baptiste went through A LOT OF ISSUES behind this and it's sad because we almost broke up over it. But, it was my doing! I just felt like I was damaged goods and he deserved something better........

I know this was something horrible in my life.....but it CHANGED ME FOR THE BETTER....
It opened my eyes to HOW UGLY THE WORLD COULD BE...before then I lived in a PICTURE PERFECT WORLD.....I WAS WAYYYYYYYYYYYY TO TRUSTING........WAY TO NAIVE....

but it also showed me that THEIR IS ALWAYS LIGHT AFTER THE STORM....

Woo, I am in tears now, GOTTA SHAKE IT OFF.....I am such a STRONG WOMAN, and I think we go through things for a reason, this was my Cross to bear. This was my journey.....

We all have shells and walls.....this is one of bricks on my wall that I broke down....I have many more.......and they are slowly tumbling down.

Until next time......

Halloween recap

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4

Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.

Seven Guilty Pleasures..............hmmmmmmmm

1. Glazed Cake Donuts...........oh my they are heavenly.......

2. Vanilla Bean Frappuchino with Caramel from Starbucks....

3. Purses and boots........Oh my I have a real problem with those 2....

4. Gadgets....I am a sucker for gadgets..

5. Twitter and facebook......

6. Hoarders I can't get enough of that sick show....

7. Reality TV............I love some good ole smutt bucket tv!

Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.

I am a total mac geek so this list will reflect that.....

I want ....

1. An Ipad....thought the hubby was buying one for my birthday, boy was I WRONG, but I have the feeling maybe for Christmas...... he is very sneaky and unpredictable, so you never know. But if he doesn't get it I will be ordering one my damn self.......LOL

2. A Mac Book Pro....I have an I mac and I love it! It is the bomb, but I just want a laptop too.....

3. A big ARSE house.... I mean a huge house with a kitchen with granite counter tops, an island, stainless steal everything, a bathroom with a jetted whirlpool tub, big enough for BAPTISTE AND I.....LOL.....HIS AND HER SINKS....huge master bedroom with sitting area, 4 bed rooms, 1 guest room, a library, an office, a scrapbook studio, a music room, and an exercise room....I want a huge backyard with a HEATED in ground pool, I love to swim! That's not too much to ask for is it!

4. A Ferrari.....Ever since I saw Weird Science as a teenager, I have always wanted a Ferrari

5. A shopping at Louis Vutton.....I only have one and took me damn near a year to save up for that ONE PURSE......LOL

6. I want a VACATION HOUSE IN FLORIDA, where we can live our winters.......I hate winter, it's too damn cold in Chicago

7. Ipad.....HAD TO SAY THAT AGAIN, BECAUSE IT'S REALLY WHAT I WANT, HEY YOU HEAR THAT BAPTISTE.........LOL

Sloth

7 THINGS I NEGLECT TO DO.......

1. Clean my room.....I am a total neat freak except when it comes to my room.....seriously if you saw my room (NOT NOW BECAUSE I CLEANED IT UP 3 DAYS AGO) you would call the people on my ass! I mean I don't have rat shit and dead cats and mice, but I have clothes, books and magazines everywhere!

2. Exercise....I go strong for LONG BOUTS of time, and then I just STOP.....I am a jogger! I love to run, but I cannot tell you the last time I ran!

3. I neglect MYSELF.....sometimes I am always doing something for somebody else that i FORGET ABOUT DANA.....I need to start taking more time for me....

4. My mail, sometimes I don't look at it for days....SHIT WHO WANTS TO LOOK AT BILLS ANYWAY....

5. My hair....I have curly hair and most times it sits at the top of my head in a ponytail......MY DAD HATED THAT. I CAN HEAR HIM SAY, YOU PRETTY AND ALL....BUT DON'T COME OVER HERE NO DAMN MORE WITH THAT PONY TAIL ON THE TOP OF YOUR DAMN HEAD!

6. Lately COOKING...I used to be one of those mom's that cooked every single day.....I love cooking for my family! But once my dad got sick and eventually passed, I just got out of that. I am starting to cook more now, but Baptiste does most of the cooking!

7. Painting....I love to paint, but I have neglected doing something I love for a long time now....maybe I should pull out my easel and canvas this weekend! MAYBE! Keyword: Maybe! LOL

This was fun......

Wrath

Things I despise....

1. Liars: My mama always said if you Lie, you steal, if you steal you kill.......I hate a liar!
2. A thief.....you can ask me for anything, but if you steal from me, I will cut off your fingers!

3. Elisabitch on the view.....I cannnnnnnnnnnnot stand this heffa. Everything about her irritates me! Her whiny ass voice. Her Obama bashing! Kill your self! please!
4. People who exaggerate! Oh my God that pisses me off! Just tell it like it is.....My inlaws have that shit bad! They have to make shit bigger than what it already is.......Ugh! i hate it!

5. Cry baby ass kids.....Ugh that drives me nuts! I have one in my house and her name is Jaree~
6. People who talk crap about things they know nothing about.....SHUT UP....
7. People who talk shit behind my back, but SMILE ALL UP IN MY FACE...I have NO RESPECT FOR PHONY BITCHES!

OOOOO, I can go on and on, but those 7 are at the top!

I jumped the gun....LOL

DAY 2 ENVY.....I DID LUST, SKIPPED RIGHT TO THE END....but hey me and RULES...UH....NO....LOL

7 things that I envy....

1. Tall people.....being short sucks sometimes....

2. People with washboard abs...I had those PRE-3 BABIES.....

3. People with straight hair, my hair is very curly and it's very hard to manage....

4. I wished I could manage my time a little better, I always accomplish what I need to accomplish, but I rush doing it.....and it makes me crabby!

5. I wished that I wouldn't let PEOPLE get under my skin! My mom is so cool, calm, and collected and me I am A HOT HEAD, it's gotten me into plenty of trouble, it's really one thing I would love to change about myself...

6. Young folks....I would give my right kidney to be young with no debt, no bills, and no responsibility....tell me kids ALL THE TIME BETTER ENJOY BEING A DAMN CHILD....

7. People who can sew....Like reallly sew.....I envy that. I can't wait to be able to say that i can sew! LOL

I love this .....and I am seriously thinking about doing a scrapbook on this ...

Lust

7 Deadly Sins...
Today is Lust (7 love secrets)

1. I am a very sexual person! I love SEX...i mean love, love, love, love sex! Baptiste has always said I will be the death of him one day. I can literally go 3-4 times a day and want more.

2. SEX is always on my mind....If I am not doing it, I am thinking about it!

3. I am a competitive lover, you will not OUT DO ME....

4. I talk shit while I am ahem engaged......

5. I am very much into role play....I have been a nurse, a teacher, a police officer, a hostage, a prisoner.....oh you name it I PLAY, and my alter ego is MISS ANN AND THAT BITCH IS A BEAST!

6. I am a creative romantic....I can set the tone....and I am the MASTER OF SEDUCTION...

7. I have made love to LL Cool J a hundred times in my mind......that is the ONLY man that I would cheat on my husband with.....hey I am being honest. LL Could have me any and every way he liked and I bet you he would come running back for more....TRUST ME! *WINK*

I am glad that Mo decided to do this challenge. People have hang ups with sex. They don't like to talk about it....women are considered slutty or trashy, if they do. I have been with the same man since I was 16, I am no SLUT....but I loooooooooove Sex! Period. I didn't start late as you Mo, but I was 17.....and IT WAS ON AND POPPING SINCE THEN.......

Pride

Seven Great things about myself!

Hmmmmmmmm okay....Just 7.....yes I am a vain person...LOL

1. I am a great mother and wife....I will kill a brick over my family! THERE IS NOTHING I WONT' DO FOR THEM....

2. I am a BEAUTIFUL PERSON....inside and out!

3. I get noticed everywhere I go...and I am usually the center of attention, I like that sometimes..

4. I got the GIFT OF GAB....Daddy always said I can talk the sugar out of sweet bread...My mouth is not only pretty it SERVES A PURPOSE...

5. I usually get what I want.....One way or the other

6. I am a GREAT LOVER.....can't believe I just said that, but hmmmmm It is what it is ...

7. I am a A GREAT SCRAPBOOKER.....I kick ass when it comes to scrapping!

Like I said.....only 7....I could go on and on tooting my own horn, but those 7 seemed to stick out at the moment!

Wonderful Challenge...

Thanks Mo and Adrienne for the inspiration.....

I needed to knock the dust bunnies off my blog!

saying hello from my droid!

i can blog from my phone! how neat! love this app! i gave the dog a bath! he looks so cute!!!!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.3.1

This and that.......

OmG, It has been forever since I blogged!
I think I forgot how! LOL

Anyway......
What have I been doing?

reading: Don't laugh, but I am still reading Breaking Dawn, not a slow reader at all.....You know how you get to that last bite of juicy steak and you want to savooooooour it, that is what I am doing! I don't want it to end! I know sad!

scrapping, scrapping, and more scrapping....I really think I have found my style. I amaze myself sometimes. I think I am one KICK ASS SCRAPBOOKER......LOL

PAINTING, PAINTING AND MORE PAINTING....I feel connected to my dad when I paint as most of you know he was an Artist.......

Shopping, shopping and more shopping.....not just for me, but for the kiddies! I don't ever want to see another damn school supply as long as I live..........

Do you know my boys are more picky shoppers than Jaree.....and that is SAD!

I HAVE COMPLETELY FELL OFF ON MY EXERCISE AND I AM ASHAMED TO SAY I GAINED 9 LBS...........But enough of the tears, time to do something about it......

I need some new running shoes!

I made the switch to Droid X.....yeah I know! I was a BLACKBERRY GIRL to my heart!!!!!! but now............I am totally Android. I loveeeeeeeeeeee my phone. No crashes, no taking the battery out to reload it........and I love my TikL to talk appp......chirp your friends all day......and nothing beats freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Baptiste is SUCH A GADGET GEEK....He has to have the latest and greatest everything.....DRIVES ME INSANE....he goes on CNet and youtube and researches EVERY SINGLE THING before he buys it!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS? He really uses his phone at it's FULL POTENTIAL because he knows everything about the DROID X.....ME NOT SO MUCH! LOL Still learning, but I love all the camera apps....especially FX Camera and Retro Camera...........

I miss my daddy so much, that one day I think I snapped and lost my mind for about an hour....screaming, yelling, punching shit, throwing shit around, I had an ADULT TEMPER TANTRUM........glad no one was home to witness it!

My mama has become my little puppy, she CLINGS TO ME, but she drives me iNSANE AND FOR THAT I FEEL SOOOOO GUILTY!

My baby started High School! When he was on the bus stop which is litterally 10 feet from my door.....I balllllllllled! Those tears came out of no where but it was for a lot of reasons. My dad was NOT there to see that moment and yeah I know he was there in spirit, but physically he was not and my dad and my nephew always cut Jariel's hair.........when he sat in that barber chair he JUST LET IT OUT..........he criedddddddddd crieddddddddddd crieeeeeeeeeedd I had to get him together before he could even get his hair cut! My poor kids are having a rough time with my dads death......and Jariel is taking it the worse! Which is shocking to me because my oldest and my dad were EXTREMELY CLOSE.....you know how it is with that FIRST grandchild!

I have started a journal that I write my dad ............thanks Monica! It helps!

I want a new camera too Adrienne! LOL I kinda have an idea of what I want too....Kinda..LOL

I DON'T NEED ANOTHER DAMN PURSE AS LONG AS I LIVE, BUT I KEEP BUYING MORE AND MORE PURSES.........it's my addiction!

People assume it's shoes, because I am always in a shoe store, but NOPE it's purses! LOL

I don't give a damn about NAME BRAND CLOTHING, but I seem to buy it A LOT for my kids......THE ONLY THING that I has to be a brand name.....are my GYM SHOES.....idk why?

I will shop at Walmart in a minute, Target, but don't get it twisted I can shop at Macy's too and I have..........I just don't like spending a whole lot of money on clothes, unless it's a special occasion, every day clothes........CHILE PLEASE....i did NOT GET THAT FROM MY MAMA, I got that from my DADDY..........LOL

I really miss my son B! He moved in with my mom and the house seems so DEAD without him here! That boy is a fool! He will keep you laughing.............but he can get on your damn nerves too! that was my right hand too.. He helped with the cooking, the cleaning, taking care of his siblings.....and they MISS HIM TOO, more than they thought. Now my mama only lives 3 minutes away......6 blocks....and we see him every day, but it's still a difference. KWIM?

I HAVE MIXED EMOTIONS ABOUT HIM MOVING OUT....I think it's NOBLE, my mom doesn't have anyone there....but I like him with me! I know, Selfish, but I feel like I gave him away, even though it was his decision to go live with my mom! He misses us too and I think he is now starting to have second thoughts, but does not want to hurt my mom's feelings!

Switching lanes........

The new season of Bad Girls club, these bitches ARE JUST CRAZY, like STRAIGHT JACKET crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I still think it will be hard to out do the other 4 seasons, but it's been nothing but chaos and drama from episode 1.

I am so ready for Vampire Diaries next month! I am so anxious to see what's gonna happen with the whole Catherine story line.....she pretended to be Elena and killed her father on the last episode and I cannot wait to see what is going to happen in Season 2!!!!!!

Is True Blood NOT THE SHIT? Omg, NOTHING ON TELEVISION can TOUCH IT.......I get so anxious during the later half of the week......because I can't wait for Sundays to get here.....I know what SOOOKIE IS????????????? Do you?????? LOL This Season is UNDOUBTEDLY going to be the BEST SEASON EVER.....hate for it END.......

I sure hope there is going to be a new Season of Supernatural I need my fix of the Winchester boys.........OMG Dean is so HOTTTTTTTTTTTT! I LOVE THAT SHOW TOO!

I also love the new show The Gates.....it's good, but everybody is trying to be like True Blood!
It's a million VAMPIRE shows on television now.....I remember when it was only Buffy and Angel! LOL Loved those shows AND CHARMED!

I heard it's not going to be a new season of V... heard it was cancelled........I hope NOT.....i Loved that show...I THINK THEY TOOK TOO MANY LONG HIATUSES and that KILLED THE RATINGS, but the show was the shit!

When is the new season of Dancing with the Stars coming on? I love that show.......

I have become addicted to Clean house and Hoarders....makes me CLEAN UP STUFF THAT DON'T NEED CLEANING.....I just don't understand how people live like that! That is just INSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!

I am taking a sewing and knitting class this fall. I am so excited! Hubby said I don't need anymore hobbies, but he is going to have to get over it! LOL

He did just buy me the cutest scrapbook tote set! I am going to look too cute at my crops....
I plan to do more of that too!

Speaking of crops, i just downloaded Skype..........thinking of doing a virtual crop with some demos where everyone shows a different technique of some sort! Yeah, maybe I should start planning that soon!!!!! What do you think????????

Well I think I have been going on and on long enough..........

that's what happens when I take long breaks between blogging, I don't know when to shut up! LOL

so, until next time................

Let's Talk Eclipse (May contain some spoilers)

I honestly LOVED THIS MOVIE! In my opinion, It was the best of the 3! And it really stuck to storyline which really, really, really impressed me! We went to the midnight showing, got great seats! But, there were so many teens there chanting their teams, that a lot of the movie got lost with their soundtrack, but I knew this would be the case......If I didn't hear I love you Edward or I love you Jacob, Marry me Jacob, a million times, but It made it fun! Even Jaree yelled out TEAM JACOB BABY!!!!! That's my daughter, I am so TEam Jacob! I was team Edward, until New Moon, when he left Bella.........I know he had reasons, but still! Plus, Jacob is a bad boy, hella sexy!!!! LOL

This movie HAD ME ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT!!!! It was jammed packed.........with ACTION. I wished they could have made it into two films because, I wanted so much more.....

The fight scenes were amazing and I am so glad that you really get to see Jasper and his story! This boy is AMAZING!!!!!!! But Alice! That is all I am going to say, that girl is NOTHING TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY.........

I WAS HOPING THEY WERE NOT GOING TO LEAVE THE RED HEADED WOMAN story out! I was so pleased that it showed how the cold ones and the wolves became enemies......so important to this particular story, and to see them come together was amazing.....

I must say Emmet was looking mighty good in this film.....CAUGHT MY EYE.....LOL

I just loved the movie and I will be camped out at Walmart getting my Special Edition DVD when it comes out in November or December~~~

I ended up taking all the kids and my niece and nephew Aaron and Aaliyah, and MOM TOO...she was asking questions from the beginning to the end......I was like WTF, READ THE BOOKS....I WANT TO SEE THIS.....when i stopped answering the questions and shifted my posture in an opposite direction, she got the picture.....she would have killed us if we said one word during THE GODFATHER AND ALL IT'S SAGA, we couldn't ask her shit! LOL

But my niece Aaliyah, is hilarious, Jaree and I are both Team Jacob, Baptiste says he's team BELLA, that boy is a fool, but anyway my niece said she's team JEDWARD, she loves Jacob and Edward....we all fell out laughing......

I got a chance to see it again and it was soooooo much I missed or didn't hear, and I loved it even more the second time around........and I can see a third time, reallllllly soon! My friend Adrienne, got me hooked ....I read all the books, and I just bought the other book, about Bree the newborn, and I plan to start reading on MOnday!!!!!! Gonna make a Border's run!

But I give it 2 thumbs up.....and would definitely recommend it to you Twilight fans!!!!!

I had to devote a whole blog about this....

so much more I want to say, but I don't want to spoil it alllllllll! LOL

so until next time

Sometimes, when....

so much happens in your all at one time.....you tend to think it's Personal.....an attack.....and for me I began to lose my faith! We were hit with so many tragedies, that I cannnnnnnnnnot even begin to count them all! Losing my father, my niece was missing, my brother almost died of a ruptured appendix, my nephew becoming paralyzed, and then dying, and so much OTHER drama.....it just becomes too much!!!!!! Too much for any ONE PERSON to bear......

I have really been struggling.....I mean really struggling, so much that I even thought about GIVING UP AND GIVING IN......

I miss my FATHER SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

My mother is LOST without my dad.........and I see her breaking down every SINGLE DAY.....It breaks my heart, but at the same time IT DRAINS ALL THE LIFE OUT OF ME..... I feel helpless all over again, I couldn't save my dad and I can't think of anything to say or do, so that my mom won't be in so much pain, I can't help her because I can't even help myself.....

My dad was EVERYTHING to our family. He did EVERYTHING.....He KNEW how to do ANYTHING.......I called him for just about EVERYTHING......and he would fuss and cuss me out, but HE LOOOOOVED DOING THINGS FOR ME.....because I was "HIS BABY".

THIS IS SO HARD FOR ME ......

I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRRRRRRRRRR BE THE SAME......

then my nephew. so full of life and promise.......WHY?????????

HE wasn't out here thugging, robbing, stealing, killing.......He was a good kid....

I just really don't know how I am going to get thru this...

I don't see light at the end of the tunnel....

As soon as I get HALF WAY ok....THOUGHTS FLOOD MY MIND, and I am right back at square one....I just don't see and ending....

I try so hard, to be who I WAS, before this happened, but MAYBE I HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS CHANGE, because I am not the same......I took 2 massive blows to my heart......I just don't see me being that HAPPY GO LUCKY, SILLY, CRAZY, FUNNY, FUN....DANA....

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A KILL JOY and I don't like going out anymore....I just don't want to bring other people down, because I am hurting, KWIM???????

Well, maybe you don't know what I mean, but I am HURTING so bad.....

All that I ask is that you PRAY FOR ME....AND IF YOU DON'T MEAN ME ANY GOOD, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.....

because I am NOT in the MOST STABLE FRAME OF MIND, I could literally rip somebody apart with my bare hands......THAT'S HOW MUCH PINNED UP FRUSTRATION I HAVE.....

So, I try very hard not to let PEOPLE make me mad, because I am gonna be honest.....I HAVE THE WORST TEMPER......before I know it I black out and I have choked the shit out of someone or slapped the shit out of someone, or beat some one's ass, and I know that is not the answer and I have been working on that.........and praying about it.....so I try to just IMMEDIATELY calm myself down!!!!!!!!!!

I am not one FOR TALKING, I just can't sit there and argue, after awhile, IT GETS TO ME, AND I LEAP............I DON'T THINK.....and now I really don't know if I can control it, because of so many emotions that I am hit with everyday........

Again, just pray for my peace of mind, my strength, my patience, and my bad temper.....

I just don't want to do anything that I regret later.....

With all that being said, I am HUMAN, I make MISTAKES, if I step on your toes, IT'S NOT INTENTIONAL, just know that I am going through a lot and forgive me in Advance......

Had to get all this off my chest....

I don't mean any harm, it's just not a good time for BULLSHIT...

WELL, I think it's time for me to get on with the get on....

So, UNTIL NEXT TIME......

My baby thinks she's a Diva!!!! and other ramblings..

So this is a picture taken at Jariel's graduation and Baptiste's aunt Ne-Ne photo shopped a picture of Baptiste's father (deceased) into the picture and I can suuuuure see the resemblance especially with B on the right. Jariel too, but everybody knows Jariel is my twin! LOL

≈

Jaree loves going to the shop!!!!! I think she is spoiled!!!!! and it's my mother that has spoiled her! LOL But this time her auntie Coey and Lisa took her to the shop and she is very specific about her hair, she will tell you what and how she wants her hair to look like!

Looking Like her daddy!!!!!

I love my family. Call us crazy...call us ghetto but we have a balllllllllllllllll when we get together! We were toasted! and the kids was trying their best to get that punch!!!!!!! no ma'am! LOL

I literally kicked with these heffas for 4 days......started off at the Taste Friday, we acted complete fools because BBD, SALT AND PEPPA, DOUGIE FRESH, SLICK RICK AND ROB BASE WAS THERE.....WE DANCED, SCREAMED, CLAPPED, JUMPED, FAINTED, WE HAD A FREAKING BALLLLLLLLLL!

Saturday, I went to a BBQ at my cousin Tammy's huggggggggggggge house! I am so proud of my lil cousin, she came from very humble and meager meanings, but she is THE HEAD CARDIAC NURSE of Ingall's hospital and has a 750,000 house! Gone head on cuz!!!!

that is Tammy, this is taken at my parents house, she would kill me if i put the picture taken that day!!!! LOL

thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.......sunday we went to the water park, it stormed, cleared up and just before we went home I almost killed myself! but that I will keep to myself!

Thought I was going to sleep in on Monday, didn't them heffas come to my house on Monday!!!!!! Damn go home! LOL so we kicked it again!!!!!!

and yesterday I didn't get any sleep because I was too excited for Eclipse and it was soooooooo good! I will devote a whole blog to that.........so stay tuned!!!!

Bare with me, I have to get used to this whole blogging thing again!!!!!!!!! LOL

Until next time........

My mind is clicking at 150 million clicks per second....

Since my dad was diagnosed with cancer, we have been running, doctors appointments, chemo, radiation, back and forth to the hospital and now all of that is over, so I don't have anything to keep me busy (as I was) except for my thoughts....

I have had time to think about so much and I decided that everything I THINK i want to do I am just GOING TO DO IT....

I WANT TO TRAVEL...
I WANT TO FINISH SCHOOL (i have 18 hours left to get my Master's)
I WANT TO START MY BAKERY BUSINESS, I make awesome cakes and brownies.......
I WANT TO LEARN TO SEW
I WANT TO LEARN TO KNIT..
I WANT TO LEARN TO CROCHET..
I WANT TO RE-LEARN HOW TO QUILT...
I WANT TO LEARN BEAD AND MAKE JEWELRY....
I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY MORE....
I WANT TO DO ME...

I WANT TO DO SO MUCH ..........

THE PROBLEM WITH THAT BEFORE WAS that I am A PROCRASTINATOR...
that's one thing I always admired about my sister, she just went for it...if she failed, she picked her self up and went at it again....

I AM TERRIFIED OF FAILURE, and that keeps me from a lot of things....

Now that my daddy is gone, I have changed so much....
Shit that bothered me before, doesn't bother me now.....

I just don't care......
Life is tooooooo short for BULLSHIT, you better know it....

I am DOING ME..........LIVING FREEE.........LIKE A BUTTERFLY....

The life of a butterfly starts off very restricted... as a CATERPILLAR, It has to inch around on it's belly, it's hard to get around, he's more vulnerable, because he can't move as fast, it is restricted and limited in it's abilities....

but then the CATERPILLAR GOES INTO A METAMORPHOSIS, IT builds a cocoon around itself, and nothing can get in or out..... and while inside that cocoon a change is happening, it is TRANSFORMING, CHANGING, EVOLVING, into a BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY.....

Have you ever watched a butterfly in action......
It is so graceful, beautiful and FREE......

IT CAN FLY WHERE IT WANTS TO BE....
IT GOES WITH THE FLOW......
SO FREE.......

and that's what I want to be, before ... I was that caterpillar, RESTRICTED BY MY OWN IDEAS, THOUGHTS, AND FEARS.....

BUT, when my daddy died, I built a cocoon, and I didn't let anybody in......during that time I was changing and evolving, and now I am at my higher self...

I am living freely.............doing as I want..........not scared or limited by own thoughts and fears....

Whatever I want to do I will do it...(Legally....LOL)

But, it's just sad it took for my daddy to leave this earth for me to realize I was my own worst enemy..........

NO MORE.....
THAT DANA, IS DEAD, RIGHT ALONG WITH MY FATHER.....

THIS IS A NEW DANA.......AND I AM LIVING FREE JUST LIKE A BUTTERFLY....

yoooooohoooooo anybody there......

Well I am not blogging for everyone to read, this is sort of therapy for me...
As many of you may know my dad was diagnosed with Lung Cancer January 6th of this year, he passed away 6 months to the day June 6th. This HURT ME SO BAD. I know it's early, but I don't think I will EVER BE THE SAME. I loved my daddy so much. He was my world. I would call my daddy to help me before I would call Baptiste, it was just natural for me I guess. There WASN'T ANYTHING, that my daddy would not do for me. I am going to be so lost without him. I know i have memories, but right now this is still PAINFUL, this is still A TOUCHY SUBJECT, Just a couple days before he died, I cradled him in my arms and hummed to him, he just laid on me like a baby.....oh my God! Wooooooooooo! Not going to break down! But 2 days later, I cradled him inside my arms as ANGELS carried his soul away. Just before he died, literally seconds before he died, He opened his eyes really big,like he was seeing something beautiful and bright, and then one eye blinked, and he died with his eyes wide open! I know this sounds hard, but my dad had the most beautiful green eyes you would ever want to see, they would often change to hazel,blue, or grey and when he died they were all of those colors in one....His eyes looked so beautiful! I just looked him awhile before it hit me what really had happened, then I heard someone screaming and it was a scream that sounded PRIMAL AND FROM THE PIT OF SOME ONE'S STOMACH, A GUT WRENCHING SCREAM, and I realized it was me, It was if I was outside my own body, I lost it, all of my strength just left my body, I just screamed, cried and held my daddy until I felt like letting him go....I think that was 3 hours later, I wouldn't stop holding him, kissing him, stroking his face, I am USUALLY SCARED OF DEATH, but I was not scared of my daddy! ...

I have no REGRETS, I was there to the end.....
I love my daddy .....death cannot change that....
I know he is not suffering any more and now I have some one in heaven saving my spot!

I will miss him more than any word in the English language can express...
After all, I was a BIG OLE DADDY'S GIRL.....

BUT I KNOW, WE WILL MEET AGAIN, and that is what i hold on too....


Daddy, YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL FATHER'S ANYBODY COULD HAVE ASKED FOR...
YOU DID ABOVE AND BEYOND WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF ANY DAD...
YOU ALWAYS HAD MY BACK......AND FOR THAT I LOVE YOU TO INFINITY AND BEYOND........

I won the bad blogger of the year award!!!!!

I won't stay away this long again! I promise

Tgif and throw back friday]

I haven't blogged in a while, blame it on Facebook and twitter! i am an addict! Yes I admit it, but i had to show some love to my first love, my blog. I have been goood! kids are good. hubs is good, pets are good......LOL

But without further adieu I am going to throw it on back.....

Until next time!!!!

A little bit of everything

I really have to get back into this blog thing!

I am a little rusty, so please forgive me, you can blame that on twitter and facebook. I am so addicted! and now Baptiste is too! We just laugh when we ask each other, what the other is doing because it's always the same answer, TWITTER, FACEBOOK......LOL

Lately, I have been having trouble sleeping! I don't know why, but I am....

I have been a lazy ass, for the last couple of days, plan to change that PRONTO, SO NOT DANA!

I really, really, really, really want the iPHONE and I can't wait until it comes to VERIZON!

I love my BB, but it's something about that iPHONE.

I don't know if I mentioned it, but the last day of school (before Christmas break) Jaree came home upset, apparently a girl that she didn't like and vice versa took her coat off the bus, for weeks I tried to find out where this little girl lived, because I was pissed. I don't have time for BS. We never could find her house. Well, I told Jaree (well I can't tell you what I told her), but I told her she needed to handle that the first day they got back to school. Well turns out the COAT was in the classroom all the time. I am so glad we never found that poor child's house! Talking about eating words........

I really want to try my hand at Shrimp and grits. I always here good things about it, so I want to try it myself!!!!!! Mo is going to send the recipe! Can't wait!

I am watching Training Day, while I type this. Denzel is so damn sexy! wooooooo!

There are a couple of movies I want to see, Daybreakers and Legion! Can't wait til they come out!

I have to turn my status to offline on facebook, because this man from Turkey keeps stalking me, hubby says, that's what I get for all the provocative pics I take. He's a mess!

I only lost 3lbs in this twitter challenge. I am a little disappointed, but I am going to keep at it! i want to lose between 30-40lbs! I want to lose 3o before my bff's wedding!

I miss my brother. I mean I really miss him. He is very distant from the family. This is a really hard situation for me, because we were so close growing up. I don't know why he is like that, but it hurts me. I don't want to talk to much about it, because it makes me cry everytime! But I wonder does he think about us......Does he miss me? Let me stop talking about before I start bawling.....

Switching lanes!

Baptiste has stared twisties, i mean I like them and then I don't! I guess I am not sold on them yet. He thinks he's FINE thought. Can't tell him NOTHING BABY!

My dad gets the results to his biopsy tomorrow. I am praying for good news. I will definitely be getting back to you on that! I love my dad so much, I am a daddy's girl! For that matter I am a mama's girl too. I am just a spoiled brat basically. I am the baby! Enough said! Any hoo, I am not claiming any thing and I know it will be just fine!

Jaree goes to the beauty shop every two weeks THANKS TO MY MOM! When this little heffa comes home, she is in I'M THE ISH MODE, total ATTITUDE CHANGE, wonder where she gets that from. *cough cough* I am not claiming that! LOL

It's almost 2 am as I type this and I know full well I gotta get up with these kids in the morning so I am going to end this with a UNTIL NEXT TIME.........