Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I must learn to let my guard down....

......When so much happens to you in your life, it's hard to let your guard down. I have been through so much in my 32 years, enough to tear the average person to shreds. I AM a very strong woman, and I keep my sanity, by building barriers....

I said all of that....to say this...

I have serious issues with my in-laws. For whatever reason, they never really accepted me. I have been with my dh for 17 years. We started dating at 16. He was my first Love, my first everything. We weathered many storms and we are still together. One of our biggest struggles was his FAMLY. Mostly the women, his mom, grandmother, and sisters....

I have never met a more NARCISSITIC family. Get this, they are SUPPOSED to be sanctified, very religious, THEY ARE anything and everything BUT...

They are very jealous hearted people, they are two-faced, judgemental, gossip mongers, everything that REAL religious people are NOT...

I have been hurt on so many levels by this family...

The night before my wedding, my sister in law tried to hook her best friend up with my dh .....

Dh told me, and I found out that it was because his sister tried to set it up...

So our history is not pretty..

His mom is a total CONTROL freak. She wants to control everything. She thinks she knows it all and tosses her education around like she's a CAMBRIDGE SCHOLAR. She talks about everyone, and this does not exclude babies, she likes to compare EVERYTHING. If I say I started reading at 4 years old, she would say her kids start reading at 3....She is so annoying, that I do not like to be around and I get an instant attitude, when she comes to my house and I avoid going to hers. She has got better over the years, but still...we have a lot of bad blood, and its hard for me to warm up to her. I am very OUTSPOKEN! So, I don't allow anyone to step on my toes. But, I try to make the best out of the situation, because I love my husband. PERIOD! But, they do not make it easy.

His older sister Lisa is SOMETHING ELSE. She wants to be number one in his life. She always tells everyone how much her brother loves her, and I think she is trying to convince herself. It's so sickening to me. I don't act like this with my brother. I swear she acts like they are a couple. She actually, cried when he took my garter off at the wedding. She hates to see him with me.. Another thing she does that drives me nuts is she WANTS HER KIDS to look and act just like my dh. She always says that he is their daddy. She even said her kids look more like my husband than his own....if so WHO CARES. She makes it her business to tell dh that he needs to spend more time with his nephew, if we take our kids out, we should pick her son up too....IS SHE NUTS???? We have our own children, its okay sometimes, but she expects it, and that's a problem. She is a busy body, who totally needs a life.

His younger sister is such a bitch. She thinks she's the toughest thing, since MIKE TYPSON, and won't bust a grape at a fruit fight. She is loud and obnoxious, but I do give her much respect because she is A DAMNED GOOD AUNT to my children and she does not favor one child over the other, like my mil. She favors my oldest child, because he is the spitting image of his dad, go figure. Jaree looks alot like her dad too, but she's a female, and she's alot like me, so she thinks she's a demon seed. Jariel, looks just like me .... ENOUGH SAID!

His grandmother, I tolerate her because she's old. But, she is very judgmmetal and she thinks she can say anything to anyone....Not very nice!

My bil is MY BROTHER, we get along really well! All of his cousins are cool, it is just his mom, sisters, and grandmother...

My family is not like that, they accpet him, always have. My dad was an ass at first, but now he's cool! LOL

I used to argue with dh all the time about his family, but realized, he can't control them, no more than I can.

I have since decided not to go around, because I can't do PHONY well, and I will tell a person about their self in a minute. I have a temper out of this world and I don't like for anyone to take me there....LOL

I also realized, that they don't like any OUTSIDE women, not just myself. They talk about everybody. My bil has a really nice wife and they talk bad about her...they talk bad about everyone...NOT JUST ME. So I have learned to not take it personal!

I do pray, to let my guard down, because I always expect the worse from them, and there is the rare occassion, that things go smoothely. I never want my dh to feel bad, kwim???

Dana

4 comments:

Regina said...

Don't let the guard down...
They have already proven that they cannot be trusted! ( *giving the side eye at that comment " my kids look more like him than his own" *
Wha's up with THAT???

BonnieRose said...

too bad u can't pick ur family huh? I feel the same way.

CircesMagic said...

I wish you all the strength to deal with this....some of these are exact reasons why I have chosen to walk away from family...the only person I am closer then close to is my mother. My husband is the same way, he walked away from his family also. We are much much happier being this way.

em said...

Yikes. My in laws drive me crazy once in awhile, too...but nothing like this!! Good luck!!!