Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Being real

Is something I have no problems with....
It was not always this way though! I was reading Bonnie's blog today and she truly inspired me to touch on this subject. I am a REAL person! What you see is what you get! I have learned that your true friends will accept you no matter how you are. Why alter yourself? Be you! Do you! I remember in my younger days always wanting to fit in.....always perpetrating to be something I was not.. and it only made my life more miserable, because most phony people are figured out. I was tired of keeping up with a fascade. It's too much work! It's much easier being yourself.

People tell me all the time "Dana you keep it real". I try too! I am very cool and down to earth person!! If I love you, you will feel it! If I despise you, you will KNOW IT! lol I cannot be phony! I just can't! In fact, it is something that I despise is FAKE people. Be you! Do you! Either people will love you or hate you. If they love you, that is icing on the cake, if they hate you, let a hater Hate!

If its one thing I have found out in my 32 years of being on this earth.....It is this: You have to love yourself first and the rest will follow. Be true to yourself. If people are going to hate you, they will do it whether you are real or fake. Forget about it. You don't want to be around anyone who can't accept you for who you are! And a harsh lesson I learned: Realize that everyone is not Happy for you.....There are those who are filled with the GREEN EYE MONSTER. Jealousy is a BEYOUTCH! Everyone does not want to see you succeed, prosper, be happy, etc. Misery loves Company!! The best thing you can do is be yourself! You will love yourself more and lead a better life if you do.

When I got married, at age 23, I really found out who my true friend were. Also, family!!! Oh yes, even some of my blood showed their true colors. They were not happy for me and did something to even sabotage my happiness. You know why? Because they were miserable people. I did not let that stop me. I took all of that negativity and built a ladder and I have been climbing UP that ladder ever since. Dh and I are very happy and we are doing well! I married my high school sweetheart and although we had two children out of wedlock, we still stayed together and got married. I was told that he would never marry me.... You know why buy the cow....you know the rest. LOL We have been together for 17 years and counting..... High school sweethearts. Do you honestly think everyone was happy for me. NO! A lot of my friends were mad because it was not them getting married. They were mad at where their lives were at that time. Cousins too!!!!! I had people who stood up for me, who were not TRULY happy for me...That hurt me deeply, but It made me A stronger person though...

Learn that you cannot please everyone... There are going to be people who come into your life who are going to hate on you, no matter what you do! Let them hate. Continue doing you!

I try to instill this in my children. NEVER ALTER YOURSELF FOR ANYONE. BE YOURSELF! DO YOU! BE A LEADER NOT A FOLLOWER!

I am happy to say, that 2 of the 3 got the message....LOL

Jaree is one of the 3. She could careless what anyone thinks of her. She has her own sense of style. She is not going to change for anyone or anything. She is soooo much like me! That is why we bump heads....LOL

Jariel could careless what anyone thinks of him....

If I can only get Bee, to this point. He used to be like that! However, these teenage years are going to be a journey. He doesn't care to an extent what people say.....but he does. He has his own style and is a TREND SETTER. He has a lot of followers.....he is the LEADER. But, he sometimes cares or concerns himself too much with what others SAY about him. Who cares??? I know this is hard for him, because it was hard for me too. But you can't let that crap get to you. Because it will EAT YOU UP! Trust me, I know! You have to love yourself first! He'll get it one day. It took time for me, more like 25 years. But, I want him to learn that everyone is not happy for him.....There are going to be haters! Let it be. He is a firecracker and a hothead, just like his dad. He has gotten into plenty fights for what others say....I told him then you are going to have to be prepared to fight the world, because everyone is going to talk crap, but you have to brush that off of your shoulders and keep it moving. I'll get him together! LOL

My advice today is to be real! Let your hair down, pop your collar, and do you!

Until next time....

6 comments:

BonnieRose said...

amen sister! Hugs.... love all you shared.. I feel the same way.. I am me.. and if you don't like it.. oh well... at first when my natural father disowned me, I was hurt beyond belief.. now almost 5 years later, he's out of my life.. and it's all okay. I sometimes wish I had a read dad that was close to me, but I don't. I've learned to live happy.. some people you just can't please, no matter what u say, no matter how hard u try.. they just don't listen. thks for sharing Dana.. hugs

adrienne said...

Great post girl!!!! love it!

Jamillah said...

I need to read that. I did that in high school too. I felt that I had to be something else to fit in. In that thought of creating lies for myself, I also had thought of suicide. Thank God I am still here. I had my share of ups and downs, I really believe that I had a support system. I fell out with a long time friend recently who told me that she doesn't give away her friendship freely. I guess I wasn't paying the cost. But I wanted to say I have that attitude of "I can do bad by myself" I want to have friends but not at the cost of losing myself in the process. Thank you for being you and keeping it real. GOD bless!!

Brown English Muffin said...

GIRRRRRLLLLLLLLLL I just found out we are the same age!!! Well I am 1 year older!!!

I could have sworn you were way older than me....hold on there now...don't start swining!!! Here's why...your posts are always so wise...they are always words of wisdom, so mature, so thought provoking that I could have sworn you had lived waayyy longer than me and knew all that life had to offer and I was eager to learn!!!

Thanks for being there...thanks for having a blog that I can read, relate to and learn from.

Brown English Muffin said...

Oh yeah back to the be real...being born and raised in England I am always told that I'm not black black...and I have come to accept that of course I don't act like a typical african american female...of course I don't...I wasn't raised here!!!

But I've done my share of trying to be blacker than I am...and those days are over...if I look corny and seem corny then maybe it's because I am corny darn it!!!

Thanks my little bitter shout is over now!! LOL

toya said...

wow, girl you blog should be called, reality check with dana, everytime I come over here, its always somethiing popping off.