Sunday, November 12, 2006

Lots going on here!

I guess most of you could probably tell from my "what people do to bug me" post, I was a little angry...LOL Well, I guess I cannot hide it well. I am. First of all, most of yesterday was a good day. One of my best friends Tori came over, haven't seen her in awhile, she was training for the police academy. She called me yesterday and wanted to come over to the house and spend some time with me. We had a good time. I really missed her. We are sooo much alike. Then I got a call saying that my niece Aaliyah had been admitted to the hospital, turns out that she has DOUBLE pneunomnia, and on top of that she had a really bad asthma attack. Today I am going to the hospital to sit with my baby. For some reason, in our family, our nieces and nephews are more like our own children. I guess because we were so close as siblings..
Especially, my sisters kids. They even call me "mom". I guess it goes back to the old African Proverb "It takes a village to raise one child". I am getting ready to go get her some coloring books and reading books to bring up there so that she's not bored.

Now, here is what a good day go bad. Warning: Long story!

My little cousin Diontae attends High School with my son. He lives with his grandmother on his dad's side, because he chose to run away from home. His life with his mother was not the best. I will say she did not provide a safe haven for her children. She chose something over her children. I am going to leave it at that. So, Vanita (his paternal grandmother) took him in. Well, the school district in which they live is not a good one. In fact, i wouldn't send my dog to the school. There's a fight in the school everyday, put it this way, we had D.A.R.E police officers and truancy officers at school . They have real police in bullet proof jackets in their school...Enough said!

Out of the goodness of my whole heart, I decided to let Diontae use my address, to attend a good school where he could be safe. Going against alot of people in my family, who did not want me to deal with Vanita, because to be frank the lady is LOCO! After much hesitation and deliberation, I decided, against my better judgement, to allow him to go to my son's high school. Much to my mom's dismay, who protested hard against this. It was not because of Diontae, my mom didn't want me getting involved with his grandmother...

This is the reason why you should always listen to your mother:

Vanita calls my dh yesterday and tells him that it is a shame that a grown woman would be in cahoots with a 16 year old kid, lying and deceiving hubby told her he didn't know what she was talking about and that she needed to be talking to me...

I get on the phone, not even knowing who I was talking to, and right away....she starts attacking me. Saying that I was decietful, and that I was keeping Diontae's progress report at my home so that he wouldn't get in trouble. Never once did this lady ask me what was going on, she just went on the attack. I let her ramble on for about 15 minutes. She even said, she knew Diontae got his progress report months ago and she was just letting it all build up.....why did she say that: I went off! I said, "Are you finish now" and she said "yes" and then I let her ass have it " I told her first of all, what were you letting build up. What are you going to do. Is that a threat? What are you letting build up. Are you a child or an adult? If you had called an asked me, instead of yapping at the gums, I would have told you that I gave Diontae his progress report months ago, and while we are on the subject, his report card too. Since, you know SO DAMNED much, he got a report card too!! I am not in any cahoots with anyone. I told her that "any rational parent would have called to see what was going on months ago (since she said had been letting it all build up)? All you had to do was call and ask. For the record, don't ever call my house with any more BS (but used the real term)! Then she said it! Wanna know what it is? I will tell you . She said the she must have been a "MFing" fool to be dealing with this "low class, trashy ass family". Why did she say that to me of all people? I can't tell you what I said, because it would be tooo many explicatives, so here is the rated version " I told her that Affiliation brings on Assimilation, meaning LIke attract like....When your son decided to lay down and make a baby with my cousin, he too became trashy and low class. Then I said this and it cut her down to the bone " If I am so low class and trashy, and knew this prior to placing your PRECIOUS grandson's EDUCATION in my hands, then what the hell does that make you ? You are either Low class and trashy your self or A PLUM FOOL! To be quite frank, you are both. I told her that I will be transferring Diontae out on MOnday, that she can send him to the High class High School in her area, and in the future do not EVER, EVER NEVER, NEVER EVER, call my house or come to it for any reason, because she might not be received well. Actually told her something alot worse, but you get the picture. She asked me if I was threatening her and I told "No Sweetheart, I do not make Threats, only Promises." If she comes to my house with all of that BS, I will have no other choice than to defend my CASTLE. That is the law! I have everyright to defend myself. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I am the toughest person in the world, to be honest, I don't even like to get into altercations, but this woman is asking for me to open up a can of "Whoop ass". She doesn't even know me. She knows of me! I don't even like to show this side of myself, but she brought me to this place. Then, to show you how ignorant she truly is, she had her son (Diontae's father) on 3-way. Why, am I talking to you in the first place. I should have been talking to his father. I also told her " I know that you took Diontae in, and that is a noble thing. However, If your son had been a stand up guy or HIGH CLASS as you put it, he should have stepped up to the plate and took his own son." Why did you, the grandmother have to take over his role too. Don't talk about my cousin (Diontae's mother), without first talking about your son, because they are equally wrong. Now you got both of your grown HIGH CLASS sons living at home with you and your HIGH CLASS *explicative* combat boot, perm wearing, alcoholic *explicative* husband. Then I told her I don't know why I am arguing with a DRUNK anyway (she drinks like a fish) because she won't remember 10 words I said tommorrow. I told her that she better hold on to these words though (right before I broke my phone, hanging up on her) "Don't ever call or dark my door step, or she would really find out how Low class and trashy I can get". Then I broke my cell phone by slamming the flip part so hard, because I was that angry.

Then I got soooooooooooooo mad at myself, for giving an Ignorant person like that, that much control over me. The control I am speaking of, is that fact that I allowed her to make me that mad!

It seems that everytime I try to help someone, it comes back to bite me in the butt. From now on, the only children that I am going to help, will be BEE, JARI, AND JAREE! I have my own children to worry about. You can't help everyone. I cannot save the world. This isn't the first time, this has happened with someone's child. You would think that I would have learned my lesson by now. But, I never thought it would happen with FAMILY. However, it is my own fault, because I was not dealing with FAMILY, I was dealing with HIGH CLASS DRUNKS!

I think I am okay now......
I got it all out.....

Woooooooo Saaaaaaaaaa!

Until next time...



Bonnie Rose said...

Dana, first of all big hugs.. I read all you posted. wow. The best thing you can do is PRAY FOR HER and the whole situation.. really. You are right. Focus on your family. The love you share and the great home you provide. Focus on the blessings.. not all the bad things other do to you. I've learned that the hard way, regarding being disowned by my own father, me an only child. Yeah it hurts, and there's so much I wud love to say to him, but he never listens.. so i finally stopped. I was only getting hurt myself.
Focus on you and your family Dana.
And just pray for the rest.

Dana Brooks said...

that is, great advice Bonnie. I will definitely take heed. DAna

Lynn said...

Dana, you are truly a loving person. You tried to help a child in need and got the crappy end of the stick when it came to his family. Some people just don't care what happens as long as they are stirring the crap around. you get what I mean. I had to learn the hard way also. I now only care what happens to me and mine. It seems most times that I try to help I'm the one that gets kicked around for helping. Keep your head up high and your spirits higher!

em said...

Holy Moly Dana. Wow. I hate people who are like this...the ones who think that they are just entitled to everything in life. She obviously takes no time to think of the things you have done for her grandson...only to find bad in the situation. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I hope that you can do what is best for you and for the boy involved, without having to deal with crazy grandma. Good luck!!

elsa said...

{{{hugs}}} You try to do good and you get dumped on. I feel sorry for Diontae, he will have to live in this enviroment and now go to school in it too. It will be a miracle if he comes out okay. That is beyond your power though. You tried and this so called grandmother didn't like seeing her own grandson doing better than herself. Shame on her. I commend you for even trying. Blessings to you.

Chit Chat From Divagirlrn said...

Just pray for her because it sounds like the woman has issues. God is going to bless you because you were trying to do the right thing by helping a child. I know it's hard not to let people like her get you upset.

beshka said...

i like that you ended that with such a calm comment!
"I think I am okay now......
I got it all out....."
big hugs!
your building up some good kharma, eventually it will come back to you!! ;) please don't stop being you, you seem to be a genuine & giving person, the world always needs lovely people like you. your always gonna get some sour grapes. do your best & then toss 'em. {so to speak :) }
you should do an activity to distract yourself..I art journal...that you can share with us on your blog!!!! ;) i know ya got some creative mojo in ya!!! ;)

Cheryl Wray said...

Oh Dana--I just hate that you had to deal with that woman!! And to think that all you were trying to do was help the young man. You were concerned about his education and actually stepped out on a limb so he could better himself. Good for you for doing that!
And don't let her get you down. Like I always tell my kids, "If someone wants to be ugly to you or not like you, that's their problem. Not yours!"
Just shake yourself loose of her and that situation. And, even though it's hard to, I agree with the other posters to just pray for her. It sounds like she really needs help!
Hope you have a much-better Monday!!

Gina (frazzledmom) said...

Wow - that was a good cathartic post, Dana!

I cannot believe someone can be so ungrateful and so unappreciative as D's granma! You are a good, good person with a big heart, and all you were doing was trying to help a kid get a good start in life. You do not deserve those insults and that attack! I hope you find a way to get out of this situation.

Big cyber-hugs coming your way.

Jamillah said...

If I am ever in a bar fight, I am calling you. Dang, that was some uncalled for mess. Don't you hate it when people with problems wants stuff to fester. It is amazing you could reach in the phone and grabbed her. She sounds like a hot mess. Pray for you for peace in your house. That is enough drama for me. And yes, always listen to your momma.

Peace and Blessings

Brown English Muffin said...

I think that's one of the hardest things to accept in life, that someone times when you help someone out of the goodness of your heart they can still turn around and slap you in the face.

It makes you hesitant and sour to help the next person but sometimes if kindness is in your nature it's hard to NOT help the next person even if you know what they might or might not do.

But with that said.....girl you have me crying with "and your HIGH CLASS *explicative* combat boot, perm wearing, alcoholic *explicative* husband"... sides hurt!! :0)

I am glad you got it off your chest though....journaling is therapy I tell ya!!